


Metamorphosis…

by Sevenwildwaysup



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Romance, What-If, toppy!Justin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:50:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 64,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2216445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevenwildwaysup/pseuds/Sevenwildwaysup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s all gone in just moments; your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were; and you have no idea who you’ll become.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ~ Pulp Fiction…

**Author's Note:**

> Part One ~ Three Little Words  
> It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 2443  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52  
Queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments; your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were; and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable charters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

 

Metamorphosis…  
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part One ~ Three Little Words

Chapter One ~ Pulp Fiction…

In a land far, far away…

Brian’s pulled from his thoughts as he’s asked a few more questions, then Cynthia escorts the invading paparazzi from his presence. He hates answering questions about all of it, but he should have expected it. What was he thinking when he started this project? Oh, that’s right; it was his shrink’s idea…

~~~

Somewhere in Pittsburgh…

Justin: “Daphne, you haven’t put that book down since you started reading it. I know it’s on the New York Times bestseller list; but it’s like you’re obsessed with it.”

Daphne: “Justin, it’s the first gay novel to make the Top Ten list, and… And I know this sounds crazy but I can really relate to the characters; it’s like I know them.

Justin: “Right, because you’re so gay… Daph, it’s fiction…I can’t believe you’re into gay romance novels…”

Daphne: “Justin, it’s really good and there’s a rumor that some producers in England want to make it into a TV show; it really shows that quirky, gritty side of the gay lifestyle.”

Justin: “Daphne, they won’t, WON’T ever put that on film…Trust me…”

Daphne; “It’s totally romantic. It’s written from the perspective of this guy who everyone thinks is a totally conceited, self-centered, egotistical, narcissistic asshole. But he’s actually a really sweet, kind-hearted, gorgeous, insecure, neurotic, misunderstood man who’s totally in love, but can’t find a way to tell his lover.”

Justin; “I can’t believe you’re reading that shit…”

Daphne; “You have got to read it! Sure, it’s a little cheesy, but it’s also romantic. It starts with him saying; “I walked out of the club, bored with all the men inside and looked up to see him standing under a streetlamp. I knew the minute I looked into his eyes I would love him forever; I just never told him…” Isn’t that totally romantic? Justin… Justin, oh my God! Are you OK? You’re crying. What’s wrong?”

Justin says in a very weak voice; “What else does it say?”

Daphne; “Well, it is a bit clichéd. He goes to his boyfriend’s prom and his boyfriend gets bashed; he tries to show him how much he loves him and tries to help him heal. But he doesn’t realize that he is also suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which leads him to neglect his boyfriend, treating him badly. His boyfriend meets someone new and leaves him just as he was trying to show him how much he loves him.”

Justin; “What’s the name of the book?”

Daphne; “Three Little Words”

Justin; “Who’s the author?”

Daphne; “B.K. Taylor”

Justin smiles and says “I never did tell you how I met Brian, did I?”

Daphne; “Justin… You can’t possibly think Brian wrote this; I mean, sure, there are a lot of similarities but…”

Justin; “I guess you’re right. I’ll have to read it, but so far it sounds like someone looked into my soul and pulled out all my pain and passion, splashing it across the pages.”

Daphne; “I thought all gay porn writers were middle-aged straight women? But there is that question. Where the hell is Brian?”

Justin; “Michael said he went to Ibiza after the Rage party and ending up meeting some VIP and got a job with some firm in New York. Then six months later he was promoted and transferred to Paris.”

Daphne; “So now, fourteen months later you think he’s writing gay porn in his spare time?”

Justin; “You know, technically, no one has seen him since the Rage party. Anything’s possible and I can’t help wondering; I miss him so much…”

~~~~

Justin’s sitting in the park playing with Gus, as he does several times a week these days. Since Brian moved away he’s tried to spend more time with him to fill the void Brian left and help give the girls some much-needed time out. Gus has been running him ragged all morning, sliding down the slide, hanging from the monkey bars, making animal sounds and begging Justy to take him to the zoo.

Justin calls him over to the blanket for the picnic lunch of finger food he’s prepared for him. A complete smorgasbord of chicken drumettes, carrot, celery and cheese sticks, along with apple slices, grapes and goldfish crackers. Once they finish their feast they lay down on the blanket and Justin reads one of Gus’s books to him until he falls asleep; he can’t resist pulling out Daphne’s copy of “Three Little Words” from his messenger bag and loses himself in the first few lines.

There are tears running down his face when he reads; “I told him I had had him… that I didn’t believe in love, that love was something that straight people told themselves so they could get laid… I told him he was nothing to me and I could see his heart breaking right before my eyes. I couldn’t believe this kid was making me question everything about myself and it killed me not to pull him back into my arms and love him the way he so longed to be loved; the way I so longed to be loved. No. I was a cold-hearted bastard and pushed him away; always pushing him away… But never really wanting him to go…”

Justin just lay there, looking up into the clouds, remembering that evening so long ago. Brian loved him right from the beginning, just like he loved Brian. He couldn’t help thinking, ‘God! Brian is such a stubborn man’. All this time they had been wasting. Why didn’t he just come home to him so they could make it work? Where is he?

“I look up and see him dancing nearby. How did that little twat get into Babylon? God! He looks so fucking hot with his shirt off, his skin sparkling with glitter. The tricks I’m dancing with seem to follow my gaze to him and now they’re dancing with him, surrounding him. What the fuck? Nobody dances like that with my boy. Who the fuck do they think they are? I immediately move in and stake my claim, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into me.”

“God, he looked so beautiful with his golden-white hair reflecting the flashing lights as I buried my face in his neck, breathing in his smell. I’ve missed that smell the last day or so. I quickly gathered him up and took him back to my lair, eager to continue my seduction of him … I was already so in love with him; I knew it the minute I saw that asshole put his hands on his hips. I almost lost it as I considered punching the guy out; but then that would have killed my reputation as Stud of Liberty Avenue. Yeah, I had it bad and was in deep denial…”

Justin closes his eyes, remembering Brian’s touch. How tender and giving he had been with him in the beginning. Feeling the warmth of the sun on his skin and the beads of sweat form on his brow he couldn’t help fantasising about their radiant afterglow from the mind-blowing sex they shared. He missed him, needed him, needed to make things right, needed him to understand that he had made the biggest mistake of his entire life.

Fuck Ethan! He had cheated on him within the first month when he was out of town. Seeing that Justin whored around on Brian, Ethan just assumed Justin would whore around on him as well, never acknowledging that he was the one he cheated on Brian with. He still can’t believe that he fell for all of Ethan’s pretty words; he was a liar… Brian never lied, no matter how much it might hurt.

He checked on Gus but he was completely out, so he moved them into the shade and continued his obsession with his current pulp fiction. He couldn’t help wondering if any of the gang had read this novel, and if they did could they see that it was his and Brian’s relationship? So much of it was so personal, so much just the two of them had shared and so much of it was even new to Justin. Because even though Brian had poured his heart out onto the pages, he hadn’t done so in person and it truly touched Justin in ways he never thought that Brian could ever do. Even in his absence Brian continued to amaze and challenge Justin.

“I couldn’t believe it when I found him sitting in Mel and Lind’s living room, sketching Lindsay as she nursed. Unexpectedly, my heart couldn’t help skipping a beat just being in the same room with him. Of course, my immediate reaction was to be snarky and annoyed; but the truth was I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him close. So I accused him of stalking and threw Gus’s teddy bear at him. It didn’t faze him at all; he stood right up to my jabs and put me in my place.”

“Then when Linds held up the sketch he drew of me I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath at first; no one’s ever done something so heartfelt. I was so touched by his compassion and impressed by his talent. Sure, he said something about drawing, but these were the first of his drawings I had ever seen and I knew then that he would became a famous artist some day. Of course, I bought it at the GLC fundraiser then I hid it. I don’t know why I didn’t want him to know I bought it. There are so many things I’ve hidden from him; I know now that if I just had let him know, our lives might be different. But it’s true what they say ‘there’s no going back’…”

Justin thinks to himself; he loves me, he so loves me… So if he’s figured it out, why does he stay away? He knows where I am; he’s still paying my tuition and my bank account is never overdrawn, even when I’m sure I have no money. I think he put overdraft protection on it and covers my expenses when I get really short of cash. The truth is I’ve never balanced the thing, it’s too depressing and I’m so broke all the time. He’s still taking care of me from afar; some might resent it but I think it’s totally sweet that he’s still trying to protect me.

I must have laid there reading for the next few hours, hanging on every word of my personal and very public Valentine that only I knew was written just for me - a declaration of his love that he could never say out loud, yet I’m hearing him loud and clear. I can’t believe I ever thought that he wasn’t romantic. He’s my turtle hiding in his hard shell, but he’s all soft and tender on the inside.

“One of my biggest regrets is not standing up to Michael; I always let him get away with being condescending and belittling towards Justin. Why? Why couldn’t I have just let it show how I felt? Why didn’t I tell Mikey we would never be; that I can’t love him that way.”

“Of course I loved Justin. How could he not see it? Hell, Deb, Lindsay and even Emmett made a point of telling me how much I was in love with Justin. Sometimes I think the reason I needed to uphold my image as the Stud of Liberty Avenue was because Michael wouldn’t survive if I wasn’t; like he needed me to be his Superhero… Well, if he could see me now…”

Justin smiles to himself, thinking that Brian will always be his. He packs up all of Gus’s toys, his sketch books and pencils, along with Daph’s trashy novel and stuffs it all into his messenger bag. He just finished drawing a picture of Gus sleeping under the old Oak tree, remembering all the times he sketched Brian as he slept, hoping that someday soon he might have that chance again.

He makes his way into the diner, pushing Gus’s stroller, making his way back to the guys’ table. Em jumps up, saying; “Hey baby” and wraps his arms around him, giving him a big hug. He then takes Gus into his arms and sits back down at the table. Ted and Michael are already seated. Over the last year Michael has actually started accepting Justin as one of the gang, although there are times he still slips and says something snarky and mean, but he sees that Justin misses and loves Brian just as much as he does.

Emmett digs into Justin’s bag for Gus’s goldfish crackers and sees the copy of Three Little Words and says; “Oh, I just started reading this. Isn’t it great? Michael just finished it. I know this sounds crazy but I can really see parts of yours and Brian’s relationship in it.” Michael snaps; “No fucking way… Besides this story takes place in London. The main character is in love with his twink and we all know Brian doesn’t believe in love and he’s openly emotional, pouring his feelings out all over the pages. Brian doesn’t show his feelings… Remember… I’m sorry, Justin. I didn’t mean it that way.”

Wow! Michael can always be counted on to make you feel even worse than you already do, but not today because I know… I just know… Sometimes it’s just better not to respond at all to his jealous little rants. How else do you explain his behavior, even after all this time? After dropping Gus off he spends the rest of the evening glued to the passionate words of B.K. Taylor… The sun is just starting to come up as he finishes reading the last words…

“So I broke another one of my rules for him and ran after him as my heart was breaking, but it was crowded on the dance floor and by the time I made it outside they were already climbing into the back of a cab, his beautiful blonde head bouncing in the back. The last thing I remember seeing was that greasy fiddler as he turned and looked directly at me; then my world went black.”

Justin; “What… No… It can’t end like that… What the fuck…?” Tears are rolling down his face and all he can say is; “I have to find him… I can’t believe he wrote a book about how much he loves me…”

I was born when you kissed me…  
I died when you left me…  
I lived while you loved me…

TBC…


	2. ~ Broken…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin stalks down his favorite prey and comes to understand why he abandoned his family for so long.

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3835  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments; your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were; and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary; Justin stalks down his favorite prey and comes to understand why he abandoned his family for so long.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

 

Metamorphosis…

It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part One ~ Three Little Words

Chapter Two ~ Broken…

Somewhere in West Virginia…

Justin pulls Daphne’s old Neon up to the address scribbled on the notepad, grateful the damn engine didn’t blow up again… It seems to blow up once every nine to twelve months like clockwork. But it’s sporty and has a racing strip and fin on the back and he looks hot driving it. He sits at the curb, looking at the house and tries to imagine Brian living there. The place is huge, three storeys, a rambling mansion built for some steel baron at the turn of the century and landscaped like its part of the National Trust. He takes another hit off the joint to calm his nerves; maybe he’s completely wrong. Maybe B.K. Taylor does live here, just not Brian Kinney…

“Sir, there’s a young man here to see you.” Brian’s brought out of his thoughts as he looks up at Marco, his personal household assistant; ‘servant’ is such an ugly word. He sees Justin standing in the doorway and his breath hitches. He can’t believe how beautiful he looks; he never thought he would see him again. He wants more than anything to run over to him and take him into his arms and hold him, kiss him, tell him how much he loves him, misses him, and needs him.

But he simply smiles and gestures for Justin to have a seat near his desk and asks, “To what do we owe this honor?”

Justin: “Brian, do you have any idea how much work it was to try and find you? Why are you hiding in West Virginia? What happened in Paris? What’s going on?”

Brian: “Slow down there, Jus… I just needed some time to find myself…”

Justin: “In West Virginia?”

Justin comes over to Brian and sits on the side of his desk, looking down into Brian’s eyes. He reads all the love and passion Brian desperately longs to show him. Just as he’s leaning in to kiss Brian, a large, well-built man enters the room and then apologizes as he backs out. Brian smiles and says; “That just Bruce; he’s my… my trainer.”

Justin gets up and says; “Well, I guess I should go, you obviously have other plans.” Brian looks sad, but he knows it’s probably for the best. How could he ask him to stay? So they make nice and say how great it was to see each other and promise to see each other again. Marco escorts Justin to the front door and just as Justin gets all the way down the walk and back to Daphne’s Neon he changes his mind and decides to go back to ask Brian out to dinner. He can’t just let him go, can’t just walk away again; he loves him too much to ever let him go again…”

He walks back up to the house as he hears Bruce talking to Brian; saying not to push himself today; that it’s not a race; that he needs to pace himself. Justin walks down the path that leads to the pool area and stops suddenly, watching as he sees Bruce carrying Brian down the steps and into the pool. He places him on the steps where Brian can hold onto the stair railing. There are also brass handles fastened on the sides so it’s easy for Brian to hold himself up.

Bruce starts with stretching exercises, holding Brian’s ankle, bringing his leg forward to his chest and back, for a set of twelve, which he repeats on the other side. After a series of a dozen different exercises and an hour later Bruce asks if Brian would like to just float for a while in the sun; he knows how much Brian loves the water. Brian just smirks and says; “I think Marco’s a little old to save my sorry ass when I slip off my raft and sink to the bottom.

Cynthia reaches down and touches Justin’s shoulder, showing him inside, asking him how much he knows. He just shakes his head and says; “Nothing really. I read the book and hounded the publisher until I tracked him down here. I talked with him for about twenty minutes, then Bruce came in and I thought he was a trick. So I left, but then I came back. I needed him to understand that I love him… I really love him, Cyn… What’s going on?”

Cynthia: “There was an accident; it really wasn’t anyone’s fault. He ran after you when you left the Rage party, but he didn’t reach you in time. I guess he didn’t hear the delivery truck. When he kept running after you, he was struck by the truck and the lower half of his body was damaged. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this so he lied to his family and friends for the first time. He doesn’t want your pity, and he hates to be fussed over.”

Justin; “Oh God, Cynthia, how could you not tell me? I called you, and called you; I was so worried.”

Cynthia; “I know, Justin, but I had to respect his decision. Besides, he thought you were with the fiddler; he thought that you were happy. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to deceive you. So are you ready to hear it now?”

Justin; “Yes… Yes. Please tell me everything. I have to know…”

Cynthia: “He’s had a series of operations over the last year and he’s really gained a lot of strength and muscle tone in his legs with physical therapy; but he is paralyzed from the waist down. You know him, he’s determined to walk and he tries so hard, but he’s fallen and broken bones that are slower to heal now. He saw his doctor yesterday and was told that he’s in the best possible shape he can hope for and that he just needs to maintain his health; but he’ll never walk again.”

Justin can’t help the tears that are welling in his eyes… Cynthia reaches over and says; “No tears, he needs you to be strong for him. He has a pretty good sense of humor about things, considering everything. He has a strong will. He’s had time to consider his actions, his life, his parents, his sexuality, his love for you… He’s in therapy trying to understand why he made the choices he did. Most days he’s good, some days he’s bad, he’s lonely and he misses you.”

“He’s come a long way. In the beginning he was very depressed, refused treatment, wouldn’t do his exercises and I worried that he might … that he might be suicidal. One night he kept his steak knife from dinner. Later when no one was around he cut himself. He started at his chest, just testing how much he could feel and moved down his body every few inches just checking, leaving small cuts along the way. When he got to his waist the cuts went a little deeper and started to get messy, but he kept on going. When I found him he had lost a lot of blood and the blade of the steak knife was completely embedded in his mid-thigh.”

“It was then that I insisted he get help. He resisted, of course, and fought me every step of the way. But when you’re strapped to your bed or I’ve set his wheelchair controls out of reach he really comes around relatively fast, well, fast for Brian Kinney. The first few days were a bitch but he’s come to realize that he really only has the illusion of being in control. I call all the shots when I think he’s being unreasonable or childish; other than that I trust his judgment.”

“He’s on a first-name basis with most of the staff at the hospital and rehab center. They have rebuilt or repaired most of the bones in his legs and thank God he didn’t have any feeling. I can only imagine how much pain he would have been in. He’s on a waiting list for a couple of research studies; one is to try and redirect his nerve impulses and the neurotransmitters in his brain to help regain control over his leg muscles. That’s one reason he still works out like a madman so his body is in prime condition should he become eligible for the study. And of course, he’s neurotic about how his body looks even if it doesn’t work quite like it used to.”

“You know the only reason he ever agreed to allow the book to be published is because he was sure that you would never read trash like that. But it was very therapeutic for him to be able to express his feelings and come to grips with everything that’s happened to him. Even if he found it hard to write about his childhood, or about the accident, it really helped him through the healing process; gave him something to focus on and look forward to. It was a way to vent all his frustrations and tell all his secrets. Personally I think he really wanted you to read it. You needed to understand that he really is a very sensitive man; he’s just too frightened to ever let it show.”

“Now I have to ask you one thing, Justin. Are you in this for the long haul? Do you really love him and are you prepared to deal with all his neuroses and disabilities? Remember he is still Brian Fucking Kinney; complete asshole and total jerk, on occasion. Because, if you have any doubts I need you to make nice, then leave and never come back. But if you think you’re strong enough to do this, then go find yourself one of Brian’s suits and join him in the pool. I’ll make some lunch and bring it out.”

Justin walks out from the poolhouse to see Brian struggling to pull himself up on the side of the pool into a sitting position. His muscles are still shaking from too much strain and he’s frustrated as he lies back, closing his eyes and allows himself to let his tears flow. He feels someone running fingers through his hair and remembers all the times Justin used to do that when they were at the loft; more tears come as he’s assaulted by those memories.

Justin leans down and wipes his tears away before he places gentle kisses down his jawline. Brian’s eyes shoot open as he assumed it was Cynthia comforting him; he’s both shocked and relieved when he sees that it’s Justin holding his head, stroking his hair. Justin smiles and says: “I’m right here, let me help you; I’ve missed you for so long. A brilliant friend of mine once told me that a man needs to know when to ask for help.” Brian just smiles, reaches up and runs his hand down Justin’s cheek.

Justin stays, sitting on the side of the pool, holding Brian while his legs dangle in the cool water. Brian relaxes into Justin’s touch as he is no longer just stroking his hair but also massaging his shoulders and forearms, remembering them shaking from strain and overuse. Brian moans and tells Justin how great it feels; it’s been so long since anyone’s touched him… Brian thoughts drift off. The truth is Justin was the last one to hold him like this, to soothe his aching muscles and make him feel whole.

Bruce asks; “What do you say, Boss? You want to float on that huge mattress thing or sit in the lounge chairs for a while until lunch is served?” Brian chooses the lounge chairs. Bruce lifts him up, carries him over and sets him down, then excuses himself. It’s then for the first time that Justin sees Brian’s fancy wheelchair tucked back by the poolhouse door. Something about actually seeing it for the first time shakes Justin to the core, but he puts on a mask that even Brian Kinney would be proud of.

He asks Brian if he needs any suntan lotion and Brian would like to pass but he knows that Cynthia’s mother just finished a bout with skin cancer and she’d kill him if he didn’t use some. Brian says; “There are a variety of SPF factors in the cupboard.” Justin chooses SPF30 for himself and SPF15 for Brian. Once he’s coated himself with lotion he climbs up onto Brian’s lap and starts to drip some lotion on his chest, slowly rubbing in small circles, toying with his nipples.

Brian leans his head back, reminiscent of his days in the backroom of Babylon; closing his eyes, leaving his mouth slightly open with his tongue just showing. Justin is completely overcome with love and desire for Brian, listening to his moans as his breath hitches. He moves his hand across Brian’s chest, continuing to rub small circles of lotion into his skin. He leans in and runs his tongue around his left nipple, teasing and sucking him.

He hears Brian chant; “Oh Justin, oh Jus” repeatedly. Justin just smiles; so glad he never quit looking for Brian; never gave up on their love. He leans in and kisses him as Brian moans, lost in the sensations coursing through his body, sensations he hasn’t felt for so long; sensations he never thought he would experience again. He can’t get enough of Justin’s touch; he wants him to run his hands over every inch of his skin; to feel, to finally feel. Who would have thought that touch would play such an important part in making a person feel whole, making him feel alive and wanting to live?

Justin snickers and says: Is this for me?” as his runs his tongue down Brian’s chest, licking the oozing slit of his protruding penis that’s stabbing him in his belly. Brian is still overwhelmed as he follows Justin with his eyes and then slightly blushes as Justin uncages the beast, taking him into his mouth. Justin can’t help but comment; “Brian Kinney blushing, that’s a first…” Brian is completely engrossed in watching Justin’s action as he devours his throbbing joystick. He can’t help thinking that this is the hottest thing he has ever seen, he’d even like to record it on video; he’s sure there will come a time when Justin’s no longer in his life again. Hell, today’s probably the last time he’ll ever see him; he can’t really believe he’s here right now.

Justin sits up and lowers his swim trunks, kicking them off to the side. Then he climbs back onto Brian’s lap, rubbing their cocks together, creating a slick mess. He takes Brian’s dick in his hand, amazed at how fucking hard he is, like a man of steel. He runs it between his crack, leaving a slick trail, rubbing it back and forth, back and forth. He looks at Brian and says; “I assume with all your doctor’s appointments you’ve been tested?” Brian nods; Justin continues asking; “And that you’re clean?” Brian nods again, just watching Justin as he continues saying: “Me too and I haven’t been with anyone for almost a year.”

Brian looks shocked but just keeps watching. He’s totally mesmerized by Justin at this point as he keeps rubbing his mushroom cap head up and down his crack. Only now he’s slightly dipping Brian in and out of him. Justin leans in, capturing Brian’s lips in his as Brian slides his hands down to Justin’s round globes, firmly holding onto him as Justin slides himself completely down onto Brian’s cock. He cries out and rests his forehead against Brian’s as he waits to adjust to Brian’s girth and length; he can’t believe he forgot just how big and beautiful his man is. He can’t believe that Brian just let him mount him raw; they’re both still looking each other in the eyes, never breaking contact. No walls, just complete and unconditional love.

Justin smiles and runs his hands through Brian’s hair as he starts to kiss him again; once he loosens up and accepts Brian’s intrusion Justin starts to raise and lower himself, slowly at first. Then he increases his speed and breathing as he rides the man he loves, the man he’s missed for over a year. He’s so glad he doesn’t have to live even one more day without him; he only hopes he doesn’t get thrown off Mount Kinney because he’s not going without a fight and it could get ugly. Still running his hands through Brian’s hair and holding on to his shoulders as he thrusts himself faster and faster up and down on Brian’s shaft, he can’t believe how incredible it feel to be flesh to flesh with him. The sensations are overwhelming as he purrs with delight.

Justin shifts slightly on Brian’s lap and really leans into him so that Brian’s thick cock slams into his prostate on each downward thrust. Brian just watches as Justin rides him, pulling himself closer and closer to his orgasm; he knows him so well as he sees him fight against the uncontrollable pleasure that’s about to consume every fiber of his soul as he tries to make it last forever.

Justin is practically incoherent as he is assaulted by the constant feeling of Brian’s raw penis slipping and sliding against him, driving him crazy as his muscles lose control and squeeze Brian’s cock like a boa constrictor. Justin leans back with hooded eyes as Brian works his stout rod until he hears his Justin cry out his name and shoots all over his chest. Still leaving a hand on Justin’s back he leans in and licks at the stream of cum that’s running down his chest. Justin collapses back against Brian as Brian holds him tight in his arms, cherishing every moment they share.

After fifteen minutes or so Justin sits up, coming out of his passion-induced coma and asks; “Brian, wasn’t that the best fucking sex you’ve ever had?” Brian smiles and whispers; “The best…” Justin starts running kisses up Brian’s arm, shoulder, neck and jawline, making his way to Brian’s full lips; taking them into his mouth, claiming his lover as he pushes his tongue in deeper, doing a familiar dance that shows the passion and intense love that still exists between them both.

Kissing Justin has always been one of those pleasures that Brian would never have admitted to back in the day, but now it gives him a reason to hope. Justin is watching Brian, never taking his eyes off his, trying to read him; wishing that Brian would be as open and forthcoming with him in person as he was in writing. Justin then remembers Cynthia’s words, realizing that Brian’s afraid to let his emotions show, afraid to appear vulnerable and, most of all, afraid of being rejected.

Justin sits up, saying, he’ll go to find a washcloth to clean them up. Brian can’t help watching his naked ass as it sways gently from side to side. As he walks away Brian’s already sporting a new woody. Justin comes inside and finds the restroom, pulling his cutoffs back on but foregoing his t-shirt. He finds a clean washcloth, cleans himself up and heads back out. Cynthia asks him to help carry their lunch out but can’t help saying; “I know that this is none of my business but…” Justin just looks at her, begging her not to go there but she keeps going… “I don’t know how to say this. First of all, I think it’s great that you two can connect on a sexual level again. I think it’s maybe just what he needed to feel… feel more like himself but you have to realize… Oh God…” She blushes.

Justin says: “Cynthia, please trust me; I would never do anything to hurt him and I don’t need a lecture on gay sex 101… So why don’t we just skip the sex talk. I think I know Mr. Kinney’s body better than anyone.” She blushes again and says; “I’m sure you do but… Justin, you know he’s paralyzed… and it all starts to go haywire somewhere between his waist and hips. You know how they say sex is all in your mind?” Justin looks at her a little funny and says; “Listen Cyn, trust me. Nothing was haywire a few minutes ago.” She tries not to blush, saying: “Justin, when he started healing in the hospital the doctor commented on his constant erections, saying he was probably dreaming about you. He was healing mentally and physically but he was also completely oblivious to it, and I never mentioned it.”

“When he came home and we hired staff, I talked to them about it. They are complete professionals so they never acknowledged it, but I know it embarrasses him when he notices. When he started writing down his emotions for therapy we worked out a little signal that I would use to help him. I’d just lightly tap my finger on the desk. You see, he can’t help himself, he can’t control it. He isn’t even aware of it. So, whenever he thinks about you consciously or subconsciously he’s usually sporting a raging hard-on. So I can only imagine how amazing it is for him to have you here and to actually be able to touch you.”

Now Justin’s the one to blush; “But we just had sex and it was great; better than great, it was beyond incredible and he had no problems performing to fruition.” Cynthia smiles and says; “Yes, his body functions just fine; he just can’t feel anything.” Justin looks shocked, embarrassed like he took advantage of a child. Cynthia touches his shoulder and says; “Like I said in the beginning of this conversation, I have no doubt that it was just what he needed for his ego and to feel like the man he used to be, but I just thought you should know… Please be gentle with him, he’s like a teenager finally letting himself feel and experience his emotions and desires without constructing all those walls. Please just be there for him, for whatever it is he needs at the time, he still can be very child-like. Dr. Wilder says it’s because he was never really allowed to be a child. He went into self-protection mode from early childhood, not letting himself feel anything except fear.”

Cynthia hands him a tray with a huge seafood salad of shrimp and crab, along with a loaf of fresh-baked French bread and a variety of cheese and fresh fruits. Cynthia says she’ll follow along shortly with a pitcher of homemade lemonade along with glasses, plates and silverware. She wanted to give them time to clean up and get comfortable before she joined them for lunch.

Disclaimer ~ I have not researched these types of medical issues like I usually do when writing. I wouldn’t want the facts to get in the way of the porn… Ha, Ha, Ha…

TBC…


	3. ~ Bring Me To Life…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gus and Justin take a day trip to visit Prince Charming…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3262  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52  
Queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: Its all gone is just moments; your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were; and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Gus and Justin take a day trip to visit Prince Charming…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…  
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part One ~ Three Little Words

Chapter Three ~ Bring Me To Life…

After lunch they push the chaise lounges together and lay in the sun, talking about Justin’s current school projects. He mentions that the building that Daphne and his apartment is in, is being sold and they have to find a new place to live, which is a bitch because she’s sure the fucking engine in her car is ready to blow again and they don’t have money for both car repairs and rental deposits. Brian and Justin argue until Justin finally accepts Brian’s reasoning that it makes perfect sense that they stay at the loft and use his jeep. And sell the fucking Neon because it’s a piece of shit.

Brian just smirks and says; “And those nights that Daphne is having wild hetero sex you’ll just have to come and spend the night here with me.” Of course it works out that Justin rarely sleeps at the loft once they move in and Daphne has about a five percent turnaround rate with the guys that stop by for Brian; after all she is a black beauty…

As the sun gets lower in the sky Justin wonders if Brian will even bring up the obvious elephant in the room as they have yet to acknowledge Brian’s current limitations. Justin just doesn’t know how to start the conversation, doesn’t want to make him defensive or uncomfortable. Because in some ways today was the most perfect date they have ever had and he never wants it to end. He starts with, “So why did you start using Taylor?”

Brian looks at him, shocked, trying to read him, unsure of what to say. He finally decides on; “Well, I thought that I’d try it on for size and see how it felt, just in case you asked me to marry you someday…” Justin beams his sunshine smile and launches himself back onto Brian’s lap devouring his lips, neck, chest and basically any exposed skin he can touch. Kissing, licking, nipping and rubbing himself all over Brian’s beautiful body as tears roll down his face.

Brian can’t help smiling as he razzes him about turning into a complete lesbian twat but the truth is it’s just what he hoped his response would be. Holding Justin close as he kisses Brian’s hair and forehead, he whispers; “I really love you, Jus.” Justin pulls back, looking deep into his eyes and says; “I know, but it’s so nice to finally hear you say it. I know how hard that was for you and I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. I love you too, Brian with every part of my soul and I’m never going to leave you again; wild horses couldn’t drag me way…”

~~~~

Two Months Later…

Justin comes into the diner and scoots into the booth, waiting to meet Lindsay and take Gus for the day. It isn’t long before he’s joined by Emmett, Ted and Mikey. Emmett comments on how happy he looks these days and asks if it’s just because he finally quit working at the diner and is now focusing on school to graduate early or if there’s someone new in his life?

Em continues saying compassionately; “I know how hard it is for you to move on, but I think it’s what you need to do. Brian has never even mentioned in his emails once about coming back to visit and I hate to see you hanging on for someday that might not ever come.”

Justin blushes and says; “Well, actually there kind of is someone but he lives out of town and is a very private person.”

Emmett gushes, saying; “I’m so happy for you, baby” and gives him a big hug… “So what’s he like, tell me everything?”

Justin holds back his smirk and says, “Well, he’s really smart and very handsome, he’s wealthy and a little older, is very fit and works out all the time.”

Ted asks what he does for a living and Justin says he’s a writer and is currently negotiating a deal to turn one of his manuscripts into a British TV series. Michael just says; “Wow, you really know how to land them, don’t you…?”

Justin just smiles his big sunshine smile at them all, thinking it’s just Fate. They hear the bell ring over the door and Gus running off to see Grandma Deb to find some lemon squares; he’s getting bigger all the time and with his father’s charm he pretty much gets anything he wants.

Lindsay joins the boys at their table and orders tea, thanking Justin for taking Gus on such short notice. She says, “He’s just a little terror. I’m exhausted, I need a day off and I really appreciate it…”

~~~

Gus says; “Justy, this is not the way to the park. Are we going to a new park today?”

“Something like that but are going to do a little shopping first; Gus frowns, he hates shopping with his moms. It’s so boring... But when they pull into the Toys-R-Us parking lot you could probably hear the cries of excitement all the way to West Virginia.

The first stop is the children’s department, picking out several pairs of swim trunks then they move on to pick up several new outfits, shorts, jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, socks, underwear and shoes. Gus is a little disappointed; it looks like this trip is going to be as boring as shopping with his moms. That is until they come to the summer fun isle and Gus’s eyes get as big as saucers at all the pool toys, squirt guns and floaties Justin allows him to load the cart down with.

Finally they end up at the real toy isle and Gus drools over all the GI Joes and Ken dolls. He looks up at Justin with his father’s eyes, pleading for Justin to allow him a new Joe or Ken; Justin is almost as taken with them as Gus is as he sorts through them all, looking for the hottest Joes in the store.

He holds one up to Gus and he just shakes his head, yelling ‘yeah,’ smiling with delight. This continues until Justin notices that they have accumulated about a dozen Joes, Kens and Alans into the cart. Gus is still grinning as he watches Justin paw through all the designer clothes and says; “Gus, you can pick out anything you want.” It’s a toss-up as to whether the store manager or Gus is smiling more when they leave the store with the manager offering to special order the children’s designer play house.

Gus looks at Justin once he’s fastened into his car seat in the jeep and asks Justin where they are going to hide all the new toys because Mommy will ask questions. Justin smiles and asks if maybe him and Gus can share a big secret?

Gus asks; “You mean like when I get to have ice cream twice in one afternoon and we don’t tell mommy?”

Justin snickers and says; “Yep, only this one is a little bigger so you’ll have to work harder to keep it safe; can you do that?”

Gus nods, “For all those Joes I can do it, but where are we going to hide them?”

Well, I need you to lie down and take a nap and when you wake up we will be at the magical palace where our handsome Prince Charming is waiting.

Gus; “Really, does he live in a big castle?”

“You bet, but this has to be our special secret because the prince is very lonely and he misses his little boy. So we’re going to go and spend the day with him and swim in his pool and play with the Joes and run around in the yard and have a picnic and if were really lucky maybe your moms might let you spend the night. Would you like that?”

Gus; “Only ‘cause he’s lonely, ‘cause I know how he feels, I miss my Daddy…”

Justin pulls up to the front of the house and Gus’s eyes get huge as he sees the fortress before him. Justin says; “Just one more thing, Gus. Our Prince Charming, he’s not feeling very well so he can’t do all the things that you might think. So you can sit on his lap but don’t pull on him, and don’t get too rough with him. He can’t sit on the floor with you so we will just sit at the big table and play with the Joes, OK?”

Gus; “Can he go swimming with us?”

Justin; “I’m going to work on that one… Come on, let’s go inside and see who’s more surprised.”

Marco meets him at the door and retrieves all the packages as Justin continues to hold Gus’s hand, walking into the big house; Gus has become extremely shy. I hear Brian on a video conference with his agent and try to steer Gus towards the pool area. The problem is that he also hears Brian’s voice as Brian video conferences him almost daily as well. Gus pushes and pulls until he frees himself from me; so I just stand back and watch the father and son reunion with my huge sunshine smile glowing on my face.

Brian’s on the phone, grumpy and giving Nate a hard time over all the littlest details when he hears commotion in the hallway and his slightly ajar door is pushed open, slamming into the wall, denting it with the door handle. Gus stops when he sees Brian for just a second and then runs full force screaming; “DADDY” as he launches himself onto Brian’s lap. I shout from the doorway; “Gentle, remember…” Tears are streaming down everyone’s face and I wish I had thought to video record this; it’s so beautiful to see Brian allowing himself to express his feelings about how much he’s missed his son.

They’re both kissing each other all over as Gus tells him what each one is for and yells at him to never leave him again. Then he insists that I call Lindsay and ask if he can live with Daddy. I smile and say, “I said, spend the night and remember this is Top Secret.” Gus’s eyes get really big again and he looks at Brian and pretends to zip his lips; then he starts kissing Brian all over again.

~~~~

Gus and I splash in the pool while Brian and Bruce do his exercises; I’ve been training with Bruce to learn to help Brian with his routine and how to lift and carry him. But with Gus here today I want to play with him and explain to him as best I can what Brian was going through; as much as a child can understand this sort of thing. The interesting part is that he seems to accept it pretty well as long as we act like it’s okay, but he’s a little sad. I’m pretty sure Michael will have a harder time should Brian ever feel ready to tell the family.

Once they finish up I tell Brian I bought him all the same swim equipment that I bought Gus and I; inner tubes, arm supports, face mask, snorkel. I tell him he doesn’t have to have the one with a duck head. Gus pipes up with; “Yeah Dad, you can have the dolphin one, or the Pirate one.” I say; “We also have blue, green and red rings, no head.”

I smile and say, “How about the Pirate one?” I can tell Brian’s nervous and I think the head will help him feel more secure. We play in the pool most of the afternoon. They’re both exhausted and sunburnt as they sport grins from ear to ear. It’s good to see them both so happy.

I would have loved to have sketched this but I knew that he would have been terrified if I left him alone in the pool; he loves the water but he’s now afraid of drowning or not being able to save Gus if something were to happen; he’s very protective of those he loves. I lift and carry Brian out of the pool and set him down at the patio table. Then I take Gus into the house and we change out of our wet suits and I convince him to lay down with me for a short nap; we both fall asleep pretty fast and I awake about an hour later.

~~~~

I find Brian in his office writing; he looks so hot with his golden suntan and his black wife-beater, showing off his well-toned biceps and shoulders. I make my way over to him and climb up on his lap, asking him if he wants a cocktail before dinner; he smirks and asks me if I’m not actually the one looking for a big cocktail before dinner… I start with running kisses from one ear to the next, as my hands roam all over his body, tucking my thumbs under the edge of his shirt and pulling it over his head.

I understand now how important and sensual it is for Brian to constantly feel the sensations as I try and touch him everywhere he can actually feel and he is slowly regaining some sensations the more I stimulate his nerve endings. Some of the strangest places are now complete turn-ons for him; the inside of his elbow where it bends totally drives him insane when I lick him.

The small of his back is very similar, as well as between his fingers and of course his navel and sucking on his Adam’s apple. I love to watch his face when I find a new place that creates a super sensitive sensation for the first time; it’s like exploring an archeological dig, finding new treasures.

He loves to watch me achieve orgasm and he loves it even more knowing that it’s his big dick that’s making me fall over the edge and quake with pleasure. We’ve explored so many new ways of turning each other on which also seem to have improved my acting skills as I perform for him. But with Gus here we really need to focus; just kissing Brian gets him hard, but of course it always did.

I lean back and let Brian pull my shirt over my head and unfasten my pants. I stand and wiggle out of them as I climb back onto his big leather chair and balance against the desk so I don’t put my weight on him. He’s already percolating a small stream of cum from his slit as he’s so excited to watch me fuck myself on his cock.

There absolutely nothing more intense than the two of us fucking raw; our bodies have a built-in memory and we start oozing for one another by just the looks in our eyes. We still keep lube close by but we rarely seem to need it much anymore.

I kneel on the arms of his chair balancing myself, holding his prick in my hands as I start to lower myself onto him. I glance over my shoulder as I see his cock align with my ass in the big mirror across the room, giving Brian a beautiful view as my rosebud stretches and engulfs its prisoner. I cry out with a slight tremor of pain and pleasure as I take all of him into myself.

I feel so full, so loved, being one with him; I gently rock back and forth, letting the chair do all the work as I slip and slide to and fro, working myself to the edge of no return. I rest my head on his shoulders as I run my hands down his back, pulling him with me more as I ride his penis. My hands find their way down his crack as I work his pucker; fingering him as I fuck myself on him harder and harder.

I push several fingers deep inside and gently stroke his prostate. Suddenly he cries out and trembles and shakes as he shoots deep inside of me. “Oh Justin! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh Fuck, Justin! I’m Cumming! I’m Cumming! Oh God, Jus, what did you do to me!” Brian’s breathing is ragged and his body is jerky. I let myself come along with him, holding him close, feeling him quake and thrust out of control under me.

I can’t help grinning. I did it! I got my man off and not just on auto-pilot but really fucking off. Shooting the moon off… He pulls me close, looking into my eyes, whispering; “I love you, I really love you.”

“I know, I love you too”

Since we’ve been back together we talk, I mean, really talk about what we each want and need. Brian’s needs have really changed since he started recovering from his accident, which I still feel so responsible for. Even though he insists that it was his own fault, he tells me he only regrets that he wasn’t faster trying to catch up with me. That he regrets that he pushed me off Mount Kinney, but he doesn’t regret breaking his rule and running after me. He finally realized that night that he was terrified to live without love again, but he was too slow at letting it show.

He tells me it’s made him very humble and appreciative of the things and friends he used to have. He misses them but he’s worried they might not like the new and not so improved B.K. Taylor. He’s getting stronger everyday mentally and physically. I’m even building a nicely toned body as I work out with him and Bruce; nothing too buff but nice and firm, well defined.

I feel great and sometimes I take Brian on runs with me around the brick paths he’s had put in around the rolling hills of his estate. They’re several miles long as they weave around the property, out to the stables, tennis courts and back to the pool and the house. The landscaping is just beautiful; it’s like being in a national park with sections of formal gardens.

Brian’s even become interested in gardening and different kinds of plants and trees. Gus and I are planning to do our own semi-formal garden near the pool so Brian can see it when he works out. I mentioned the little playhouses to Brian and he loved the idea and decided that we should get one for Gus. Brian doesn’t want to wait until his birthday as it isn’t until the fall and he wants him to have it all summer long.

I show him the designs and he picks the one I knew he would; it’s actually three hundred and fifty square feet which is huge for a playhouse. It has a kitchen, living room and bedroom - all miniature-sized that fits Gus. But it’s not so small that I’m totally uncomfortable inside it at all. We agree that Gus is going to love it and it will be perfect for him to take naps and store all his new toys in, as I’m sure he’s about to become the most spoiled child ever. I’m still high on just seeing all the love between father and son when Gus barged into his office today.

TBC...


	4. ~ This neurotic man of mine…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanna to be your lover, baby, I wanna to be your man…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Two ~ Healing and Mending…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3041  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: Its all gone is just moments; your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were; and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: I wanna to be your lover, baby, I wanna to be your man…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…

It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Two ~ Healing and Mending…

Chapter Four ~ This neurotic man of mine…

Justin signed up for extra classes for the next semester, now having some spare time since he left the diner and after reviewing his schedule the classes available work out so he should be able to graduate early; with just six or seven more classes he can get his Master’s Degree. It’s going to be one hell of a year but he thinks he can do it, especially if he takes summer school both years.

Brian is so proud of him when he mentioned that he had figured out a plan to get out of school early with a Master’s Degree, no less. Brian himself will be having an intense year as well; he was accepted into the research study and will be in physical therapy daily. He will also have to go through some more operations but they’re very hopeful about the potential results. The doctors said that he’s one of the best candidates they have so far for the study, considering his age, and how healthy he is.

I’ve moved completely into the mansion with Brian now and I feel a little guilty about not telling anyone. Well, I mentioned that I’m seeing an older man who’s a bit of a recluse… just to get a rise out of Brian. He needs to see the family but I won’t push him. Things between us are so much better than I ever dreamed possible. Of course it’s still very hard for him to express his feelings but he’s trying. He doesn’t put up his walls now, he just uses his hands, getting animated when he gets frustrated. I’m so proud of him.

He’s been meeting with his attorneys a lot lately, negotiating a new book deal and the script for the television show in England then there’s the big settlement from his accident. It’s interesting watching him in action. It’s like he’s still the same man working those around him and completely in control, seated behind his big desk but I know how depressed he gets when he’s alone in his fancy new top of the range wheelchair.

I think he misses his work and the art of the deal. He always was a workaholic and this past year has been hard for him and the next won’t be much better but he’s always pushed himself. He mentioned wanting to start his own advertising agency and I think that’s a good idea. He needs to get back out in the world and his ego hasn’t allowed himself to do that as of yet. He needs to see that his disabilities won’t interfere with how successful his business can be.

The house is huge and he only uses the first floor right now, the second floor has six bedrooms and a full library. The house does have an old elevator with wrought iron gates and it’s three storeys tall. There are just four rooms on the upper level. I’ve made one of them my studio so the paints don’t bother Brian. He’s become very sensitive to smells and odors; they make him nauseous. I’m waiting for a delivery from the artist’s studio of the canvases, paints and supplies I’ve ordered when Marco tells Brian and me that Dr. Bruckner is here to see Mr. Taylor.

Marco escorts Dr. Ben Bruckner into the living room with Brian and me. Ben reaches his hand out and says; “Brian, I thought your name was Kinney?” I’m not a jealous guy, really, I’m not… But they know each other, I mean, really ‘know’ each other… My gaydar is pinging off the charts and I feel sick, this guy is built. He’s so hot and so opposite of me. God! Why do I feel so insecure right now?

Brian asks, “Doc, how are you? This is Justin Taylor, my partner.” They both smile and shake hands and I still can’t help sizing him up and becoming jealous. I’m really glad I started working out and I’m now well toned, not the little boy Brian met that first night in the loft so long ago.

Marco; “Justin, Justin… Would you like some iced tea?”

“Iced tea? Yes, yes that would be great.” With a shot of Beam would be even better. Brian seems happy and I know that’s good; he rarely sees other people. I just wish I could focus and stop all these ridiculous emotions.

Marco appears, carrying a tray with a pitcher of iced tea and glasses, I help him set it down and serve everyone. I hear Dr. Bruckner say that he’s now teaching at Carnegie-Mellon medical school, that he’s practicing physical medicine and the research study that Brian will be in is his project.

He goes on to explain the study to both of us even though we’ve read about it before. It really helps to have someone here to explain each and every step that Brian will be going through. He explains that he’s not a surgeon but he will be working extensively with Brian after each operation until hopefully Brian has regained use of his legs. To what extent that will be depends upon how Brian does during each procedure and how hard he works during physical therapy.

After Dr. Bruckner leaves, okay Ben - he insisted we call him Ben - was the nicest guy ever and I can’t believe that I was jealous of him, except he’s so fucking hot… Don’t go there… Brian’s a little nervous about having more surgery but I tell him it will be nothing compared to what he’s been through already. I’m more worried about the healing process Dr… Ben said that as Brian’s nerve endings grow and reconnect, it can create deep burning sensations and or shooting pains

Brian’s exhausted after meeting with Ben this afternoon and he insists that I go out with Daphne this evening and have a good time, even go dancing as its been months since I’ve gone out. I feel a little weird leaving him at home but he would never consider going to the diner let alone Babylon until he’s ’healed.’ I wish he wasn’t so stubborn.

So when Daph and I make our way into the club and get a drink it isn’t long before we’re joined by Em and his new beau. He seems nice and I can’t help wondering why his men never stay - if it’s them or Em? Ted and Michael join us with a new round of drinks. I talk with Michael who wants to do a second issue of Rage and hopes that I can squeeze it into my schedule.

Right, because he doesn’t get that I’m already carrying eighteen to twenty credits this semester. How could he? He’s never been a serious college student. Just then I hear Daphne say “Oh My God, my professor is here!” I look up and see Ben headed straight for us, smiling.

Daphne blushes like she’s been caught doing something wrong as I introduce Ben to the gang. He acknowledges Daph, all smiles and then he turns his attention to Michael. Smitten, infatuation, lust, that doesn’t even come close to what we’re all witnessing. Ben asks Michael to dance and I’m pretty sure they have their china pattern picked out by the end of the night.

Now we just have to get Teddy hooked up. Really, he’s not bad looking - it’s his lack of confidence. You would think that with Brian off the scene for the last sixteen months these boys would have made inroads into the trenches of the gay battlefield.

 

Seven Weeks Later…

Brian sits in the patio garden, outside our bedroom, watching the moon come up. He loves hearing all the news about the gang and he’s really happy for Michael until it occurs to him that at some point Ben and Michael will figure out they both know him. He wonders if he should tell Michael the truth but he hates the idea of having to deal with Michael’s wrath, even if he does deserve it.

Just hearing the enthusiasm in Michael’s voice as he tells Brian all about Ben and how wonderful he is. How he can’t stop hoping they might live together some day then Michael asks when Brian can come home for a visit. It’s been so long and he just has to meet Ben. Brian stumbles and says that he’s extremely busy right now; he’ll have to check his schedule. But Michael isn’t letting it go so easily and somehow gets him to commit to considering coming for Christmas.

It didn’t seem like that big of a deal at the time except that news spread like wildfire. When Justin came home from school he told him Deb mentioned that he was coming home for the holidays six months from now.

Brian shakes his head “Michael really has a big mouth.” “You can’t blame him. It will be almost a two years since he’s seen you.”

“God, Justin, you say it like that and it sounds so bad. They must really hate me.”

“No, they just think you’re an asshole…”

“Thanks”

“Of course if they knew the truth they might not feel that way. You know, maybe we should consider inviting them over and explain everything. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“No, not yet. Not until I can walk. I just can’t let them see me like this.”

“Brian, you know there’s a good chance that you’ll run into someone at Carnegie-Mellon Hospital during your treatments. Just being at the hospital makes you more vulnerable. Don’t you want to be the one to tell them in a controlled situation?”

“I don’t… I don’t want their pity.”

“Do you think I pity you?”

“I don’t. I try not to think about it.”

“I don’t. I don’t pity you. Are you listening to me?”

Brian just looks away…

“You have to start being part of the world again; you can’t continue to hide in your fortress. It’s not healthy for you any more.”

Brian bites his lips and says, “Well, Gus does want to go to the circus and I doubt any of the gang would be there if we went.”

“Really! You’d consider going to the circus! Oh God, Brian, this is great!!!”

“Oh, calm down. You’re worse than Gus! Let’s keep this a surprise until we work out all the details. Gus’s playhouse should be delivered at the end of next week if everything goes as planned.”

“I can’t believe you ordered children’s furniture to go inside. You really are the world’s greatest dad.”

“Do you ever think about it?”

“About it? What? Being a dad?”

“Yeah… Do you…do you ever think about us being parents together?”

“I love seeing Gus a couple of times a week, but it just rips my heart out every time he leaves.”

“You want to be a full-time dad?”

“Well, it doesn’t seem such a bad idea, does it?”

Brian looks at Justin, a little unsure and afraid of what he might see in his eyes. He knows it’s too soon. Hell, they’ve only been back together several months yet Brian feels the need to be committed - he hates being so alone.

Justin looks at Brian, a little shocked at first and slowly his smile creeps up his face, unable to hide his excitement.

“Really, Brian! Oh my God, really???”

“I was thinking we could ask Cynthia or we can hire a surrogate.”

“That’s a lot to ask of someone but then again I really don’t want a stranger.”

~~~~

Brian’s deluxe shower was more than deluxe… It was designed specifically for him and his needs - it was a huge room. But then again it really was so much more than a shower. There are four sections. In the front center is the bathroom with a designer toilet, double sinks and linen closet

To the right is the shower with multiple shower heads on two walls, facing each other and benches on the opposite walls. The next side is a steam room with two long benches stepped up the walls. On the left side was a huge whirlpool bath with multiple jets and adjustable pressure valves that could be set to stimulate the muscles.

Its best feature was the fact that the front of the tub opens like a car door to allow easy access; and it also had a bench that bordered the edge. There are grip bars that run horizontal and parallel throughout the area and the shower stall was large enough to actually wheel Brian’s chair into before transferring to the special chair he uses for bathing.

The bathroom was centered between the master bedroom and divided up the sitting area space from the sleep area. It was made of clear aqua glass with a frosted swirl section that waved from about two feet to four feet around the perimeter. That way anyone in either room could see if Brian needed help; he liked his privacy but he was also practical and he finally enjoyed being able to do something on his own, sometimes.

Now that he could actually just start to feel sexual sensations he loved to sit in the steam room, fantasizing about his past as he jerked himself off, pretending it was someone else, usually Justin. That he was still beautiful, desirable, and whole.

Brian sat, leaning against the tile wall with his eyes closed as he stroked himself, his moans becoming louder. Justin heard him when he came home from school and went to check on him. He stood and watched him for a few minutes before he decided to join him.

Brian’s startled at first but then he feels Justin’s feather-light kisses along his shoulders as he places his hand on Brian’s. He encourages him to release his member so he can continue building pleasure for his lover. Brian’s getting really excited when suddenly Justin applies pressure to the base of his shaft to slow down his orgasm.

Justin whispers, “Not here. Let’s go some place comfortable.” He stands and puts a towel around Brian then carries him into the bedroom, laying him on the bed.

Brian’s totally energized, flooded with more sexual sensations as time goes by and he can’t help wondering if he will ever be ‘normal’ again. He’s so cute he doesn’t know how to ask for what he wants…

“Jus….” He just looks at him with big bedroom eyes and tries to turn onto his stomach, looking over his shoulder, making it clear he wants his ‘boy’ to be his ‘man’. Justin beams as he turns Brian around and rests him so he’s comfortable and supported by pillows. He starts at his shoulders and runs kisses from one to the other, coming back to kiss his cheek and whispers, “I love you” into his left ear.

He runs his tongue down the center of his back and his spine, feeling Brian relax and open himself up for him. As he approaches his beautiful firm ass he pulls his cheeks apart and delves his tongue around the tight pink pucker. Justin pulls his cheeks open a bit further and pushes his tongue in just far enough to swish around in a circle several times before retreating and circling the outer rim again.

Brian bucks back, grunting at the loss of stimulation. Justin’s amazed that he’s actually regained his sense of feeling and thinks that maybe Brian’s so lost in his arousal that his brain hasn’t registered that fact.

“Justin, Justin, Oh God, just fuck me, for Christ sake!”

That’s all it takes to get him back on track as he continues to stretch Brian with his strong tongue then he switches to his fingers, working him open and again he hears Brian grumble to get on with it….brat

Finally he squirts a generous amount of lube on his fingers, warming it up some before he applies it to Brian’s beautiful rosebud. He lines his cock up with Brian’s juicy hole and gently pushes in, giving him several inches and then stopping, waiting for him for adjust to his girth. A minute later he continues pushing in and then he starts working his partner.

Justin thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. He’s fucking Brian… Holy fucking shit! This is only the second time he’s fucked Brian, the first being about six weeks before he ran out on him with Ian. “I love you, Brian” he whispers as he starts earnestly fucking him.

Brian’s lost in the sensations that are assaulting him as he drools on his pillows and grabs at the sheets as Justin firmly holds his hips and fucks his ass. He’s barely conscious that all those moans and screams are coming from him - he’s never been one to get very loud during sex. Well, that was before, this is now…”

Justin’s amazed as he tries to hold off his own orgasm as Brian jerks and spasms under him, riding out his pleasure, screaming out Justin’s name begging him, “Harder, harder, harder! Ah, ah ah oh God Yes!”

Brian is quaking so hard he pulls the sheets off the top of the bed as his body shakes and quivers. I hear him chanting; “Jus, Jus, Justin…”

~~~~

Brian started the research study which first consisted of a battery of physical and medical tests and we’ve gone over all the results with his doctors. He’s scheduled for his first surgery next week and I know he’s a little frightened because before he was under anesthetic when they set his legs. This series of surgeries will involve trying to redirect the neurotransmitters to his nerves to help him regain his motor skills. He will have a series of four or five operations depending upon how each step of the process goes.

I’m trying to convince him to go away with me for the weekend before he starts the research study and I start school again for the summer semester but he’s so stubborn sometimes he doesn’t like being in public. I wonder what it will take to get him to go out in the world again. To stop believing that no one will value him if he’s not perfect, young, beautiful, this neurotic man of mine.

TBC…


	5. ~ Lions and Tigers and Bears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Lindsay seek more information on Prince Charming, Brian’s physical therapy intensifies with the research study.

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 4424  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52  
Queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments; your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Ted and Lindsay seek more information on Prince Charming, Brian’s physical therapy intensifies with the research study.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…  
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Two ~ Healing and Mending…

Chapter Five ~ Lions and Tigers and Bears

Lindsay is sitting in the diner with the boys, waiting for Justin; it’s become their usual place to meet and exchange Gus for his regular visits with Justin. It also gives the rest of the gang a chance to catch up on what’s going on in Justin’s life and Gus a way of still seeing his Grandma Deb and the boys. Justin struts into the diner with a little extra spring in his step and a big smile on his face - he’s actually glowing…

He slides into the seat next to Emmett and tries to hide his glee. Em just says. “Spill.” Justin plays innocent and says; “Nothing, nothing… Honest, it’s just that I’m starting summer classes next week and life is great!” Emmett can’t help smiling and clapping then he notices the sparkly ring on his finger.

“Justin, is that a fucking engagement ring?” Justin’s face drains of all color which isn’t much considering it’s usually a lighter shade of pale to begin with; he chastises himself for forgetting to put it on the chain around his neck before coming into the diner.

“Oh My God, baby, it’s so beautiful, and blue and sleek and modern… Oh God, it’s so you… So did Prince Charming pick it out himself or did you get a say in what you’ll be wearing for the next fifty years?” Justin blushes. “Both. He surprised me and had a jeweler come to the house and design just what we wanted as well as our wedding bands.”

Em and Lindsay both glance at each other, knowing how hard it’s been for Justin to get over Brian moving away. Gus pipes in with “I’m going to be the flower girl.” Justin shakes his head and says; “If it’s okay with your moms we’d like you to be the ring bearer.”

Justin figures he might as well get it all out in the open now and head off most of the questions. “First, I want to say that it’s going to be a very, very small wedding out of town. I know you all don’t really understand, but he is a very, very private person and we’re not getting married until I’m out of school. So that won’t be for another year at the earliest.”

Lindsay starts in with, “Well, actually, I kind of wanted to talk to you about this very thing… I’m not so sure it’s a good idea that Gus is spending so much time with someone that Mel and I haven’t even met… As a matter of fact I was going to bring this up before you even mentioned anything about rings and understanding.”

“Because quite frankly I don’t… I don’t understand. Why it is okay for Gus to meet your fiancé, but not his mothers? And he talks about this Prince Charming all the time and I don’t want him getting so attached. Sometimes I catch him referring to him as ‘daddy’. Now how do you think Brian would feel about that?”

Justin looks at her and tries to find the right words to explain why he can’t tell her. He says, “He’s one of those people who have phobias about being near people and germs.”

“You are such a liar, what’s the real reason?” Michael retorts.

It’s true. Justin couldn’t lie if his life depended upon it. He bites his lip and says, “It’s true he’s uncomfortable in crowds and well, he was in an accident and he’s going through physical therapy.” There, I said it out loud and the world didn’t come to an end, at least not yet… He’s going to kill me.

“Justin, I’m so sorry, I hope he’s alright, maybe once he’s feeling better?” Lindsay replies.

“Yeah we’ll see. I should go. I have a big day planned for Gus and me.” Justin says.

~~~~

“This way,Ted. I switched cars with Dusty for the day so he wouldn’t recognize the car. Hurry up, we’re going to lose him.”

“I feel really strange about following him, but I agree you need to at least find out his fiancé’s name and address, maybe run a background check on him. I do think Gus is spending too much time with him, although you can’t beat the free daycare.”

“Did you buy that bit about his boyfriend being in an accident?”

“Not for a minute…”

“What do you think is going on?”

“Linds, probably nothing. I don’t see Justin as the scheming type.”

“He’s getting on the freeway going towards West Virginia!”

“Why West Virginia?”

“How should I know, Lindsay?”

~~~~

Well, at least I got him to agree to go to the circus. It’s a week day so it shouldn’t be too crowded and it’s less likely we’ll run into anyone. Brian has a session scheduled with Bruce first and Ben is coming by to work with both of them and check Brian’s progress. So we’ll get lunch together and get Gus to take a nap first and go to the circus in the afternoon. Cynthia is going to join us to help out with both Brian and Gus, in case I have a problem.

Today will be the first outing Brian’s been on that’s not to the hospital or rehab center. I’m praying that this goes well and he’ll want to start seeing our friends and family again. I hated lying to everyone this morning and I intend to tell Brian so later tonight. I sure wish his ego was still firmly in place sometimes, but a humbler Brian isn’t really a bad thing.

We’re finishing up lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and alphabet soup. I can tell Gus is getting full as he keeps playing with his food, spelling his name out and then mine - ’Jus,‘ before eating the noodles. He yawns and pulls me towards his bedroom for his nap. He’s so excited about his surprise - all he knows is that he gets it when he wakes up.

~~~~

“Pull over, pull over and don’t let him see you. My God! Just look at that house! Shit!”

“Oh wow! His fiancé is totally loaded. How does he meet these guys? I mean, is there a directory for the rich and famous gays of Pittsburgh?”

“Teddy, I think it’s more about his big smile, blond hair and perfectly-shaped bubble butt.”

“No doubt.”

“Oh My God! Is that the boyfriend?” An old black 1969 Porsche pulls into the drive and is let through the big wrought iron gates.

“Oh God! That’s the boyfriend all right. That’s Michael’s new boyfriend, Ben.”

“Oh God, Teddy! This is so wrong! How could he? No wonder he didn’t want anyone to meet him.”

“There must be some other explanation for this, don’t you think?”

“And what would that be?”

“I don’t know but he did introduce them… Maybe it wasn’t serious then. But why lead Michael on if things have changed with Justin?”

“This whole thing is making me sick to my stomach, let’s go.”

“Alright.”, Ted jots down the address and pulls the car away from the curb slowly, still looking down the long driveway to the house. He can’t help thinking about how bad this turn of events is going to be, as it took Michael squealing on Justin to finally split up Justin and Brian. Michael had no way of knowing that instead of bringing Brian back to him, it would drive him to another continent.

Michael’s finally to the point that he’s getting over Brian and his fantasy. It was hard at first when Brian moved away but now that it’s been over a year and a half Michael’s at last seeing himself as a separate person, as opposed to being attached at the hip to Brian. I think he might even feel a little bad about outing Justin to Brian and his affair with the fiddler.

~~~~

Justin’s POV

Brian’s still in with Ben, finishing up with a massage to relax and soothe his muscles after an intense workout. Brian is making great progress, doing better than expected. He may not need to be in physical therapy as long as originally anticipated. I wait to take a nice long shower with Brian when he’s done with his workout.

Gus is still sleeping, completely out to the world and I wonder if I ever slept that soundly. I strip out of my clothes and strut into the steamy shower, laying on the bench in front of Brian like a showgirl on a piano, complete with my head tossed back. I let my hands wander up and down my body, bending my leg farthest away from him, leaving the other straight on the bench.

Giving him a show, one hand pulls and twists gently on my nipple ring while the other strokes my cock. Each stroke I squeeze a little tighter making my beautiful head rush full of blood, throbbing with need. I love watching Brian watch me, we haven’t spoken since I’ve joined him. He’s just working his own member in the same rhythm as I do mine. God, he’s fucking hot!

I hear moaning but I’m not sure if it’s him or me sometimes. I get so into being sexually open that I completely lose myself. That’s one thing about Brian’s disability - it has increased my sexual creativity and discovered Brian’s thrill for voyeurism. Today we have to rush and take a shower as I ran out early for my eight o’clock class without one.

When we have time, sometimes I go just outside our French doors in the bedroom and perform for him on the patio. Besides all the comfortable furniture, the grass is super soft and tickles me when I move and grunt. I have to admit that it excites me as well, knowing that he’s jacking off, watching me.

Our eyes are locked on each other, roaming each other’s bodies and holding one another’s eyes as we get more and more worked up and ready to spout. I arch my back and increase my thrusts, moaning and groaning as I shoot straight up in the air then I watch as it splashes back down all over my groin and thighs.

I look over and see that Brian’s still jerking himself off and hasn’t released yet so I move to him and lower myself to my knees, holding what’s rightfully mine in my mouth as I devour him whole. I can feel him shaking and crying out my name as he pulls a little too hard on my shoulder-length hair. I finish sucking him off as the last waves of pleasure shudder through him.

I lick my lips, tasting his cum and stand and kiss him then I continue shampooing his hair and soaping his body. I do the same for myself and then roll him closer to the shower heads and rinse us both off as we both run our hands all over each other. If we’re not careful we’ll be on the bed, fucking, in no time.

~~~~

Gus sits on Brian’s lap, in total awe of the big clown that leans down, handing him three purple balloons that Justin ties to the wheelchair. He just keeps looking at how tall he is and how big his feet are. “Dad, are his feet really that big?” Four and half years old and he’s already a genius, “No, not really, Sonny boy.”

“That’s good because they might get stepped on a lot.”

Gus loved all the animals. The tigers and lions were his favorite, although a little frightening and he got to touch an elephant afterwards outside the big tent and he still can’t stop talking about the leathery feel of its skin. He was enthralled with the tightrope walkers and trapeze artists and I have to admit I liked one of them myself. He’s totally hot!

Brian’s POV

It was the first time that Gus had been to anything on that large a scale in a big crowd and he was totally delighted. Even though it was only a few hours long he and Justin managed to plow through peanuts, caramel corn, hot dogs, cotton candy, nachos, egg rolls and ice cream. I’m pretty sure we’ll need to get them home or to the hospital before they explode or gain fifty pounds overnight. I just hope he’s not up sick all night; I just keep telling myself they’re growing boys.

When we get home Justin calls Lindsay and asks her if Gus can spend the night - she’s always been receptive to our offer to keep Gus before, but tonight she hesitates and I’m confused. Finally she tells Justin that she wants to talk with his fiancé. Now it’s my turn to hesitate. I say, ‘okay, hold on’ finally saying, “Ask her to come for lunch tomorrow.”

Then I take a deep breath and pull my thoughts together. I know it’s not right to expect her to allow me access to my son and not even know it’s me. I also have become very used to seeing Gus several days a week and want to work out some type of arrangement with the girls; I just hope that they’ll understand why I stayed away.

Lindsay seems slightly put off but accepts the offer and agrees to allow Gus to spend the night again as he seems to love this mystery man. Of course when she learned that they had gone to the circus she was pissed but didn’t say anything. She just felt that that was the sort of thing that he should have experienced with his parents.

~~~~

The next morning Gus and I are painting at our easels up in my studio on the top floor. I’m painting a scene of the rose garden. I have an excellent view of it from my windows and I can smell the beautiful fragrant flowers whose scents drift into the open windows. God, I love the change of seasons as spring turns to summer.

Gus, on the other hand, has foregone the brush method and moved on to finger painting. This really isn’t a problem as I’ve set him up on an old shower curtain and stripped him of his clothes; he wants to know why I’m not painting in the nude. He likes it a lot. Of course he’s painting himself as much as the sketch pad in front of him. He says it’s freeing and I believe him but I can’t help wondering where he heard that.

Brian and Bruce are out back working in the pool, doing his routine and the playhouse is being built. Actually it comes prefabricated so it should be completed this afternoon. The furniture won’t be here until the first of next week but the mini-fridge will be installed today. I can’t believe Brian had it wired for electricity and it’s totally childproof; he hired a designer to select products that completely protect Gus from potential accidents. No sharp corners with heavily-padded furniture - fit for a king.

Gus hasn’t figured out what they’re building out near the pool house just yet. We didn’t think it would be constructed for another week or so, so we haven’t told him about it. In some ways I wish it wasn’t back to back with the circus, I don’t want him spoiled. Ha! That may be a little late.

~~~~

Lindsay felt uncomfortable going back out to the big mansion all by herself so she asked Ted again, as she hadn’t mentioned to anyone what they had discovered, not even Mel. They took a deep breath as they pulled up to the tall gates and waited for them to open, welcoming them into the lion’s den.

They knocked on the door and asked to see Mr. Bruckner.

“You mean Dr. Bruckner?” Marco asks.

“Yes, that’s right.” Lindsay replies.

“I’m sorry, he’s not here this afternoon, did his office tell you he was here?”

“No, I was invited for lunch and I hope it’s not an inconvenience but I brought a friend of mine, Mr. Ted Schmidt.

“No, of course not, ma’am, I’ll tell Mr. Taylor that you’re here. Please follow me.”

Lindsay and Ted can’t help but be overwhelmed by their surroundings as the rooms are all smartly decorated and appear to be completely childproof. Lindsay can’t help wanting to find reasons to end this relationship between her son and this stranger.

Marco returns and says, “Ms. Peterson, would you like to see Mr. Taylor’s studio while you wait?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

“The studio is on the upper floor and you can take the grand stairway here or the elevator just down the hall. Mr. Schmidt, if you would please follow me, I’ll show you to the office where he’s waiting to speak with you.”

Lindsay is halfway up the first flight of stairs and couldn’t quite make out the last part of what Marco said to Ted. Who’s waiting? She makes her way up all the stairs and hears splashing coming from the bathroom as her son his being sprayed down with the showerhead and a rainbow of colors run off him.

He laughs and jokes with Justin, playing hide-and-seek behind the curtain. Once all the paint is gone Justin starts to run a bubble bath for Gus and pulls out a bag of tub toys of boats, sea-monsters and pirates. He seems obsessed with pirates this year but at four and half that’s probably normal. But he’s not allowed to have a sword so he uses a wooden spoon when no-one is looking.

Justin’s POV

I look up and see Lindsay watching us and wonder how long she’s been there. When I’m with Gus I lose all track of time - we just live in our own little world. God, I can’t wait until Brian and I have our own children. Cynthia agreed to be our surrogate and is starting to get tested to make sure there aren’t any problems; we would never want her to put her health at risk.

Since it usually takes awhile to conceive Brian thinks we should start trying right away. He would really like our baby to be born shortly after we’re married and I graduate. I like that time frame myself because were going to need a focus so we don’t kill one another if I’m working in my studio full-time and he’s running an ad agency on the second floor.

~~~~

“Theodore, please have a seat.”

“Bri, what the hell are you doing here?”

Brian sticks his tongue in his cheek and looks at Teddy and says, “I believe that’s my line.”

“Oh, yeah… Lindsay wanted someone to come with her. She…..we thought that Justin was… Well, that’s not important. Tell me how you’ve been. When did you get back and who the hell’s house is this?”

“It’s my house. I’ll have Justin give you and Lindsay a tour after lunch. As for Ben, we can call him before my workout if you still need to speak with him.”

“Oh, Brian…”

“Why would you think Justin was cheating with Ben?”

“Ah… I don’t know.”

Brian raises his eyebrows and asks, “So how much of a problem is all this creating for Michael and Ben?”

“None, none. We didn’t say anything to anyone… we just…we followed Justin yesterday and then we saw Ben arrive and assumed…”

“So you think Justin could marry another man?”

“What? No, no, we were just trying to be supportive. You know he was so depressed for so long when you were gone. So you must have been back now for a few months as Boy Wonder has had that starry-eyed schoolboy look since he quit the diner.”

“I didn’t get back…” Brian looks down; it’s hard for him to admit his flaws. “Listen, Teddy, I’m going to tell you something and I don’t want Lindsay to know right now, I think….I don’t know. Please close the door. Actually, there’s several things I want to talk to you about. First, I never left, and I bought this house using the money Gardner Vance bought me out of my partnership with.

“I also have a substantial settlement coming in from an accident I had the night of the Rage party.” Brian looks down at his hands that are shaking and his voice trembles a little. He finally says, “I broke my rule and went after him. I wasn’t paying any attention to anything except him and that fucking fiddler. I ran right into the traffic and was struck by a delivery truck.”

“Oh My God, Brian! I’m so sorry, I mean… I care about you… Not pity. Don’t you dare think I pity you.”

“I knew I could count on you… So I heard you lost your job.”

“Oh, you heard about that.”

“I watch the news, Teddy.”

“I’m working now as a bartender and waiter.”

“You mean a singing bartender and waiter.”

“Well… Yeah but it’s work.”

“Ted, come work for me. I’ve decided to start my own business. I have plenty of space to start out with here and if it really takes off then I’ll buy a building and move. Cynthia has been in contact with several of my old accounts and I’ve actually had people call Cynthia looking for me since I’ve left the firm. But I’ll need help and most of them don’t know about my disabilities and will be shocked to see me in a wheelchair.”

“That why just like with you, I’ll meet them first sitting at my desk and in the later meeting during development I’ll let them see who I…” His voice cracks and he takes a deep breath. “who I am today because I know I can still do this. I’m good at what I do and I miss it, damn it.”

Brian gets so frustrated sometimes but he struggles with his emotions. He knows he needs to let them out but he’s spent his whole life hiding them and here he is, practically crying in front of Ted. He feels like a total lesbian. Bruce comes in and asks if he’s ready to go to lunch. Then he lifts Brian and transfers him into his chair and pushes him into the sunroom where a beautiful lunch has been set up. Then he places Brian at the head of the table as if there is nothing unusual and Brian has no disabilities.

Ted can’t help drooling over Bruce. He’s totally built but Brian tells him he’s straight, otherwise he’s pretty sure Justin would have had him replaced by now. They’re both laughing when Gus comes running into the room, sparkling clean, ready for lunch then his nap. He jumps into Brian’s lap, telling him about all the paintings he’s created this morning and who’s going to get each one.

Lindsay stops and just stands in the doorway, staring at Brian. She is totally speechless with shock for a few moments.

“Brian, what are you doing here?”

“How do you like my new house, Linds?”

She presses her hand to her chest, taking a deep breath, “This is your house?”

Brian just grins and says, ‘Well no, actually it’s Justin’s and mine.’ Justin looks at him questionably.

“I had everything put in your name when I bought it.” He just looks into Justin’s eyes, showing all his love. “I also increased my life insurance policy as well. Nothing like a brush with death to make you realize that you need to protect those you love.”

Gus starts squirming so Justin puts him in his booster chair and serves him fish sticks and fries with chocolate milk. The rest of them dine on char-grilled salmon, Caesar salad and braised vegetables and for dessert they have strawberry shortcake with fresh whipped cream. Both Gus and Justin are in heaven after lunch. They drift off to take a nap together as they usually do when Gus is here.

Marco serves another round of beers and Ted congratulates Brian on his engagement to Justin. He tells him how much he admires Justin’s ring. They make small talk for a few minutes and then finally Lindsay insists on knowing why Brian abandoned his friends and family; she’s hurt and confused.

“Lindsay, I never meant to abandon anyone. I wasn’t in a place to make reasonable decisions. I thought that it was best to not be a bother to anyone; I had a lot of issues and I still do. I’m not really ready to come to back in to the fold just yet and when I do it will never be the way it used to be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your life in Paris is so great you don’t want anything to do with us anymore?”

“NO! Oh course not and there is no Paris… Oh Lindsay, I didn’t want to tell you but… I’m… I’m paralyzed; I don’t have use of my legs. I was hit by a truck and I didn’t want… I didn’t want him to want me out of guilt and I knew if everyone knew…”

“But my little stalker found me, sought me out and asked me to marry him so it’s the least I can do, since I’ve been completely insane without him.”

“I’ve changed a lot, Linds. I’m not the same man I used to be; I can’t even imagine what he found so attractive about “me” anymore but my looks…”

Lindsay throws a pillow at him. “I know you two really love each other and I’m so glad he tracked you down. I’m, I’m so sorry about your accident but you know that’s what families are for, so I’m going to wait to be mad at you and just be whatever you need me to be right now.”

“I’m doing Dr. Bruckner’s research study and hopefully it will help me regain some of my motor skills in my legs; walking is still questionable at best. I try not to let it get me down and that blond brat seems oblivious to my steel horse I’m usually riding. He’s really the best, but I can’t help thinking it’s wrong of me to tie him down in a marriage with a total gimp. But of course I think I’d die if he left me again.”

“Brian!”

“What! I can say it… I’m the gimp…”

“Please don’t talk that way…”

“I won’t, but I don’t want to come back to the Pitts until I can walk.”

“I thought that you just said that…”

“Yeah, it’s a conundrum.”

TBC…


	6. ~ Hide and Seek…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin asks Emmett for help planning his wedding and Brian is interviewed about his next novel.

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3760  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments; your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Justin asks Emmett for help planning his wedding and Brian is interviewed about his next novel.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…

It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Two ~ Healing and Mending…

Chapter Six ~ Hide and Seek…

Ted and Lindsay agreed to keep Brian’s secret as long as Brian agreed to tell the family soon, by Christmas at the latest. Lindsay can’t keep her tears from falling on the way home; falling for so many reasons. For Brian and the pain and suffering he’s had to endure, for the final realization that Brian is going to commit and marry but it will never be to her. Her biggest fantasy bursts wide open as she just smiles and swallows the lump in her throat, no matter how unreasonable a dream it was.

Ted mentions that Brian offered him a job and Lindsay is almost shocked then she says; “I think that’s great. So you think you could work together?”

“Yeah, I’m really considering it. I mean, look at how well Brian’s done for himself. I’d love to get in on the bottom floor of a start-up like his. If he played his cards right his business could equal or even surpass Vance’s within a year or two. Brian’s really good and he was the advertising department at Gardner Vance, they’re lost without him.”

Justin’s POV

There’s a big halo around the moon tonight as Brian and I sit out on the patio; we’re lying on a huge chaise with me between Brian’s legs and his arms around me. He tells me that Cynthia told him that the doctor said we could start anytime, and that tonight was a perfect time in her cycle. He smiles and says, “I’ve asked her to stay in the guest room with Wayne, her boyfriend.”

I was worried how this was going to go with the new boyfriend on the scene but he seems totally supportive of the whole situation. And Cynthia is being paid way beyond anything even remotely normal for these services, with a commitment for a minimum of one more child in the next four years. She’s actually thrilled to do this as she’s not sure she’s ready to be a mother or if she’ll ever be, yet she wants to experience all of what being a woman is.

Brian and I are necking, kissing each other passionately as we start to become aroused. Our sex life has almost done a complete one hundred and eighty degrees since we’ve gotten back together. I’m obviously in control and he’s more sexually sensitive, playing catcher these days but that’s a secret that I’ll never betray.

As we both become more wanton with need I climb off him and turn him around so he’s on his knees with them leaning against the chair arm rails and his hands gripping the chair arms. God, he looks so beautiful, with his ass in the air and his cock swaying with anticipation.

I climb on top of him, covering his body with mine, running feathery kisses along his shoulders, whispering how beautiful he is and how beautiful our child is going to be. He has his sample glass on the table right next to him so when he’s ready to shoot he can just grab it or maybe I will…

I decide to make this a night to remember just in case we actually conceive. Like that night so many years ago, I start at his shoulders and run my tongue slowly down his back licking and grazing my teeth as I go, just to send a few more chills down his sensitive spine.

I dip my tongue between his firm cheeks and spread them nice and wide for me. I start out just circling his beautiful pink rosebud. Each time I swirl around I go a little deeper, swishing the tip of my tongue, licking and wiggling, tickling him in any way I can. I feel him push back and start moaning - my old man loves cock. I hear him whisper; “Yes, Oh God, Yes!!!”

I lick and suck his rosebud another minute just to drive him wild and then I squirt some lube on my fingers and work him even more open for me. I may not be as big and long as Brian’s nine and a half inches, but I am a stout eight and I know just how he needs it.

I align myself with him and lay my forehead on his back and kiss his shoulders and neck, whispering, “Ready, Daddy…” Then I push into him all at once just like he loves, he likes it to burn just a little when we start out. I hold him nice and firm with my arm around his waist and my hand flat on his stomach.

There’s no reason for him to fear falling or hurting himself; he trusts me completely and I’m now strong enough to move him in any situation. You should see me now that I’ve been working out with Bruce and Brian for six months. I sense that Brian’s adjusting and I start a nice slow rhythm, working us both into a slick mess.

His walls feel so warm and wet to me. God, I’m so turned on as he shocks me by squeezing me so tight I have to wonder if he knows he’s doing it. Was that intentionally or involuntarily? So I cry out my pleasure and I feel him do it again as he cries out along with me this time. Oh God! I love it when we share such a personal pleasure together.

Brian’s POV

I love for him to know I feel him. I love the way he fucks me and he’s so tender and giving. I never thought that bottoming could possibly be so much pleasure. I made such a big deal about being a big bad top all that time that I seemed to have missed out on some incredible fucks along the way, that’s for sure. But those days are in the past and to tell you the truth I couldn’t be happier. Justin and I are making a baby right now… As bad as things are, things are pretty damn good…

“Oh God, yes! That’s It! Justin! Justin! Justin! He’s slamming into my prostate with abandon as I feel the shockwaves rippling through me. My legs are becoming weak and I wasn’t even conscious that he had put his hand over mine and placed my cock into the glass. “Damn, that’s a lot of spunk!”

Justin snaps a lid on the to-go glass and then he turns me over and we lie together and look at all the stars that have come up since we came outside tonight. The moon still has its orange halo and just before we decided to come in we see a shooting star so we both make a wish.

 

Four Months Later…

Brian’s POV

Thanksgiving is coming up in the next couple of weeks and this blond twink of mine is planning on spending it with our outlaws; I can’t believe he’s choosing the family over me. He, of course, says that I’m free to come along but I can’t. I’m not ready, he’s sick of hearing that and says “You better get ready; you promised Michael you’d be home for Christmas!”

It’s just that I still can’t get around without my wheelchair and I’ve tried to walk in the rehab center in the pool between the metal bars with attendants on all sides of me but it’s so painful… Painful - I should be glad about that, right? It’s working. My nerve endings are sending signals… Pain signals, thank you very much.

I know I should be grateful, but I’m just impatient; I want to get married right away. You see, Cynthia fell pregnant on our first try. So I sit and bitch and moan about my leg pain while she’s bitching about losing her figure and morning sickness. I’m pretty sure Justin’s ready to gag both of us and Ted just ignores our bad behavior. Good boy…!

The business is coming along nicely; it’s just Cynthia, Ted, Jennifer, Justin’s mom and I. With the real estate market down she’s just filling in on some of the things that Cyn isn’t able to do now, besides answering phones and typing contracts. Ted’s actually gone out and contracted a few new clients; they’re small-time accounts but all clients get our full attention. As for the art department, I can’t get the Art Director I want so I’ve been outsourcing it so far and it’s amazing what hungry artists/students will do. They don’t fight with you - they just do what you ask then they happily collect their paycheck.

Of course I still want that other artist to run my art department, but he may have his hands full for a while to come. I’m considering hiring one of Justin’s teachers, Sarah-Jane, part-time; she’s really talented and is only teaching two classes at PIFA and wants to quit teaching.

~~~~

Justin’s POV

I wake to him shaking and realize that he’s crying, but still asleep. I hear him say, “Please don’t go…” then he cries out for me; “Justin! Justin!” But in the dream I can’t hear him. I’m in the back of a taxi cab, and I don’t see him. I’m facing the wrong direction. My whole life was facing the wrong direction then, I just had no idea at the time how wrong.

I hold him as he shakes and whimpers, slowly waking up. It’s been so long since he’s had one of these nightmares and they seem so real. I soothe him with my words of love and comfort, wiping his tears away. He just looks at me, finally saying, “It seems so real watching you leave me again.”

I don’t know what’s brought up all this again but I have to prove to him that he’s the only one for me.

I have to wonder what the trigger was this time. For me it’s usually something simple moving through the air that I see just out of the corner of my eye. Or the sound of wood hitting something or wood splitting. The day the guys came and took down a couple of dead trees on the property and chopped the timber for the fireplaces I had to be medicated, my nerves were so frayed.

He seems to have calmed down as I stroke his hair and kiss his forehead and cheeks. He’s holding onto me for dear life like he’s about to slide off the bed into a bottomless pit. Fear is not something I’m used to seeing in Brian’s eyes and knowing that I’m the one that put it there is even harder to accept.

I just want to kiss him and made him feel better but I know that doesn’t work and I think it’s time that Brian called Dr. Wilder again. He’s avoided seeing him for weeks and I know he’s stressed. It’s just now that I realize that Brian probably has unresolved issues from the bashing as well as his accident and let’s not overlook his childhood. Yeah, he really shouldn’t miss his therapy sessions.

It’s early but he wants to get up, he’s pretty shaken. I ask if he wants to sit in the sitting room in our bedroom or at his desk so he can write. It’s also a choice if he wants to sit and be mobile in his wheelchair or a little more comfortable in his desk or overstuffed chairs.

He’s regained some sensation in his upper legs and he’s scheduled to have an operation on his knees just after Thanksgiving so he’s stressed about that. It’s one step forward, two steps back. The healing from the operations takes a toll then he bounces back in a couple of weeks, usually followed by more muscle control.

I try to be as supportive as possible but he has a tendency to say, “Once I can walk…” and I can’t have him putting his life on hold until some day that might not live up to his expectations. Like seeing the family or marrying me. Now that Cynthia has conceived we need to move this date up and he agrees, but not until he can walk. I won’t have my child born to unwed parents, I just won’t. He thinks I’m insane, acting like a total twat.

I just want our baby to know that we really wanted him or her; we didn’t just rush into this. Of course we’re totally rushing into this, even though it was planned. So now he calls me Bridezilla, but if you ask me he’s the one that is so fussy about everything. I’m ready to call in Em and at that point most of the family will know already. So I know that we’re having a big wedding, but I’m not sure if Mr. Kinney has figured it out just yet.

~~~~

I asked Emmett and Michael out to lunch at a classy restaurant, not the diner. I actually dressed up a little - no cargos and tees; I wore slacks and a sports jacket with a turtleneck. I guess the boys got the hint when I asked them to Chez André as they followed suit and dressed nicely. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them and it was good to catch up. About halfway through lunch I asked Emmett if he would be interested in helping me plan my wedding.

I explained that I needed a professional because right now it was my mom and Cynthia. That got a strange look then I realized what I had said. Emmett asks, “Is she your old wedding planner?” I can tell he’s slightly hurt that I asked someone else first. “No, just a friend. I haven’t hired anyone yet, that’s why I need a total pro. I don’t have time to deal with all these details and decisions.”

“The thing is that I’ve had to move the date up so I won’t be getting married next fall, but sometime before April 1st.”

“Between now and April? It’s a good thing you want a small wedding…”

“Well, I don’t think it going to be as small as it was when we started out planning it.”

“Justin, you understand that it’s Thanksgiving week and then Christmas, New Years,’ then you only have three months. Valentine’s Day, six weeks… I may be a fairy but I don’t have magical powers.”

“Will a blank check work?”

“You betcha!”

“We want to get married at home and I was hoping that you both had time to come to the house and meet my fiancé then Em and I can go over more of the details of what we have in mind.”

Justin can tell that Michael’s curious why Justin’s inviting him and he doesn’t know what to say. Brian isn’t aware of this lunch date and he hope’s that it’s the right thing to do because he really doesn’t want to spend Thanksgiving without their family. He could never really leave Brian at home alone.

As they pull into the drive Justin sees all the news trucks and he forgot that B.K. Taylor was doing an interview for his new novel coming out the day after Thanksgiving. Justin steers the guys around the back into the sunroom and explains that he forgot about the Barbara Walters Special after the football games.

Michael is utterly in awe of the house, the pool and the grounds, Gus’s playhouse - all of it is so much more than anyone expected.

“Listen, I need to tell you something before you meet my fiancé.”

I take a deep breath and just as I’m about to speak I hear Brian’s chair coming up behind me.

“Boys! It’s been along time…”

Michael and Emmett just stare at him for a moment and then Brian says, “Let’s have something to drink for old times’ sake. I’m in the middle of something but they’re setting up the cameras in my therapy room so we’ll have some down time.”

Ted shows the film crew to the old ballroom that’s been converted into a gym; a gym with granite floors and walls. Ted hears Brian talking and brings Ms. Walters out to the patio just as Marco is serving a pinot noir. They all stand and Em is just gushing; he can’t believe it and he wonders why Brian Kinney is being interviewed; why an ad man is being interviewed by Barbara Walters. Oh My God!!!

Michael isn’t much better as he says; “What a pleasure it is to meet you. I never miss your specials. Me and my uncle Vic…”

Emmett one-ups him with; “I have them all on DVD and you’re my biggest fan. I mean I’m your biggest fan.”

Then he totally blushes. Jennifer and Cynthia hover in the kitchen, making snacks and chit chatting, not wanting to intrude but still keeping an eye on everything. Cyn complains that she sure wishes she could have a glass of pinot noir; she’s four almost five months along and everything makes her sick.

Jennifer brings out a tray of fresh fruit, cheese and crackers for everyone and asks if Brian needs anything else. Brian asks if Gus is still sleeping and if so, says she and Cynthia can join them if they wanted. Barbara is so easy to talk with and it’s good for her to see a cross-section of straight and gay friends and how they interact. Of course she has no idea that it’s been two years since Brian’s seen his best friend and this isn’t the reunion he had planned.

The camera man comes to let them know that they’re ready to film Brian working out with his trainers and because Brian wants to encourage funding for medical research he’s asked Dr. Bruckner to participate in this part of the interview. So Bruce and Ben do a routine of one round of each type of exercise then finish up with stretching and massage.

Brian asks the boys to please stay for dinner as it’s been so long since he’s seen them and so much of it was wasted on all this fuss over his new book A Love That Will Never Die. Justin’s happy that Brian doesn’t seem upset with him about bringing the boys home.

Justin’s POV

I find Gus sleeping in the bottom of the elevator; he loves it and calls it his spaceship or rocket ship and what kid wouldn’t…? But Brian freaks when he goes into it alone. It’s old with wrought iron gates and it has lots of places where his blankets, toys or clothing could get snagged and he could be hurt. It’s hard for me to be mad at him because I understand the appeal of it all. He has most of his stuffed animals with him as well as his star trek action figures and astronauts.

He’s so beautiful when he’s asleep, much like his father but innocent. I’m not sure Brian was ever innocent. I’m pretty sure he’s been devious right from the start. But that’s what I love about him. He can see right through all the bullshit and do what’s right; well, what’s right for him and his family anyways.

“Gus, Gus, Gus, you can’t sleep here. Daddy is going to get so mad…”

I sit there holding him as he slowly stirs and returns to our world, leaving his dream world behind. He leans into me, glad that I’m home; he doesn’t like taking a nap alone.

Once the guys are alone Brian tells the boys of his misadventure and how that led to him writing about his feelings for therapy and how therapeutic it was to get all the pain out; that he’s written enough material for a couple other books as well - one on surviving such a crippling accident, physical and emotional and one about business. He’s even started writing about all the bullshit from his abusive childhood.

Brian’s POV

But the books I’ve published so far have just been gay romance novel with lots of angst and passion, hot gay sex… I haven’t decided if I want to do the TV show in England and it seems the longer I take to decide, the more money they keep offering me. I’d rather do something here. I’ve become accustomed to having Gus in my life and I can’t go back now.

Michael’s been sitting there with tears in his eyes the whole time, on the verge of crying at any minute. Brian smiles and says, ‘please, Mikey, don’t worry about me. I have Justin to care for me now.” It was at that point that Michael finally realized that it was Justin’s place to take care of and worry about Brian, not his. Not that he wouldn’t worry, but he now understood that it wasn’t his place anymore, they had finally grown up.

Ben comes in and asks Brian if he wants to talk about his surgery that’s coming up and what his prognosis is so far. Ben and Brian move back into Brian’s office as Justin comes back with a sleepy Gus and a fist full of Graham crackers. It’s a struggle to get Gus to set them on the table; he’s not in a sharing mood. Jen offers him a glass of milk if he sits in his booster chair; he can even dunk his Graham crackers. He’s all smiles now…

Brian and Ben go over his test results and blood work. His final test is to run a sharp needle down his legs to his feet to see if he’s regained any more sensation. Ted, Em, Michael and Justin hear Brian scream all the way out in the sunroom. Now Justin is standing at the door in seconds flat asking what happened. “He stabbed me, he fucking stabbed me… Fuck…” Justin’s smile is beaming as he just shakes his head slightly from side to side, grinning.

He launches himself onto Brian’s lap, kissing him everywhere. Brian complains about the open display of affection as well as something about Justin gaining weight that earns him a smack on the chest and then more kisses.

“You know what this means, right? You’re healing, you’re getting better and maybe, just maybe you’ll be able to get more motor control over your feet. I’m so, so proud of you. You work so hard everyday.” More kisses…

Ted sticks his head in the door, saying that he needs his signature on a few contracts and that when he’s ready, Sarah-Jane has his story boards ready to review for the new Condom One ad campaign.

TBC…


	7. ~ Leaving the Pain in the Past….

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Justin start couples therapy and Michael comes to grips with Brian’s accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Three ~ Torture, Shrunken Heads and Bridezilla

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3637  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments; your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Brian and Justin start couples therapy and Michael comes to grips with Brian’s accident.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…

It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Three ~ Torture, Shrunken Heads and Bridezilla

Chapter Seven ~ Leaving the Pain in the Past….

After dinner Justin gave everyone a tour of the house and the new business, Kinnetik; they even met Sarah-Jane in the art department as she finished up for the day. Gus pulled Em along by his hand. He only cares about showing the guys his room, the rest is just boring. Ted and Em stay to play with Gus while Justin shows Michael to Brian’s office so they can have a private conversation.

Once inside, the flood gates open and Michael loses it, crying, sitting next to Brian, holding him and as usual in their totally dysfunctional relationship Brian comforts Michael. They lean their heads together and Brian sincerely apologizes for leaving Michael in the dark and out of his life. He uses his standard excuse that he thought that it was better this way, inconvenience, blah, blah, blah… You know the speech…

Once Michael has his emotions under control the boys sit back and smoke a joint, listening to songs from their wild teenage youth. “I’ve missed you, Michael; I missed just hanging out and just being us.”

“Me too, you know you didn’t have to stay away.”

“Yeah, I did… I still do; I know you can’t understand but I just can’t. I can’t go back there in this chair… It’s… It’s humiliating, it’s not me. I won’t let it be me.”

He’s shouting now and Justin is standing just outside the door in case he needs him. But Justin realizes he just needs to vent and Michael is his venting partner, just like Daphne is his. He wishes this wasn’t so hard for him because he’s doing so much better all the time; Brian Kinney has never been a patient man.

Michael can’t help noticing how Brian’s body looks great, saying, “You’re still young and beautiful! You’re Brian Fucking Kinney! Fuck the chair!”

“Actually I use ‘Taylor-Kinney’.”

“Of course you do? Who are you?”

They both burst out laughing and Michael lights the joint again and Brian asks about the new boyfriend. “Oh my God, Brian, Ben…Ben is the best. Wait, you know Ben. How do you know Ben? I didn’t want to ask in front of Barbara… Barbara fucking Walters…

Michael actually squeals with excitement. “She was so nice.”

They talk some more about how Red Cape is doing and how Ben and Michael are looking for their own apartment. They light the joint again and Michael forgets all about asking Brian about Ben.

A couple of minutes later Brian smiles that goofy smile he gets when he’s stoned and leans in and says; “So Mikey how would you like to be my best man?”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah, I mean who else would I ask and we’re still best friends, right?”

“Fuck, Yeah!”

Michael hugs Brian and for the first time he’s truly happy for both of them. They seem to have found themselves partners that actually put up with them and their childish ways.

~~~~

Brian hates the idea of seeing a shrink, but once Alex arrives it’s always a productive session and Brian always feels like a weight has been lifted from his fragile body. Alex tells him he’s so glad he finally called and asks, “What happened?”

Brian takes a deep breath and says, “I had a bad dream and I couldn’t breathe. I felt so helpless.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I’m running after Justin and I can’t move. I guess maybe I’ve already been struck by the truck, I don’t know. I just know that I’m lying on the concrete and he’s…he’s lying just out of reach, bleeding out on the cement floor. But I can’t move, I can’t get to him, there’s so much blood then he sits up and the fiddler comes and carries him away. And I can’t move and I can’t breathe and I can’t stop it.”

“That must make you feel out of control? Have you ever told Justin about your dreams, or how you feel about the accident or the bashing, or even him leaving you? I hear unresolved issues with you concerning the past.”

“Doc, can’t we just keep the past in the past?”

“Obviously not, since you’re dreaming about it.”

“Yeah…”

“Brian, why don’t we ask Justin to join us?”

“Now? Today?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just that I didn’t expect it.”

“So you’re alright if I ask him to come in?”

Brian just looks at Alex and then turns away; “Fine…”

Brian wonders why he’s so afraid of talking with Justin about his fears; he should be the one person that he can tell anything. Alex returns with Justin and the three of them just sit there in silence for a few minutes.

Finally Alex says; “Brian, why don’t you start by telling Justin how you feel.”

Brian can’t help thinking - about what? Where am I’m I supposed to start? He keeps looking at his hands then he says something he had no idea was going to come out of his mouth.

“What was it that he had that I didn’t? What was it about him that you loved, that you didn’t love about me?”

“What! Nothing! He had nothing over you except pretty words. It was all a delusion full of lies; he slept around on me the very first chance he got. I didn’t mean anything to him. I was just a pretty face, to stand by his side. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Brian. You know I love you…”

“I need something more specific, something about me that I can change so, so you don’t…”

“I won’t… I promise. I know I never will leave you again; it wasn’t you that needed to change, it was me. I needed to grow up and understand what it was that you gave me. And I did a lot of growing up when we were apart, now I appreciate everything you gave me. I even understand you better than you understand yourself, I just lost faith. I needed to hear those three little words.”

“I know I should have told you. I just didn’t know what that feeling was back then and it scared me. It scared me to need you, want you so much. And then Michael told me about the fiddler and I felt like you were already gone. You didn’t even want to try. I was trying but I just didn’t know what to do. So finally I just pushed you away because that’s what I know how to do best.”

Justin crawls up into Brian’s lap and looks into his eyes, asking him if all this is about them getting married soon.

“I don’t know where this is all coming from. It’s just that I’m concerned about you giving up your whole life for me. You have so much to live for and I’ll hold you back. Even if I wasn’t in this chair, I’d be holding you back…”

“Don’t think you’re getting out of marrying me, Mr. Kinney; it’s a little late for changing your mind. Our daughter is due to arrive this spring.”

“Daughter - I don’t think so. I’ve had a little talk with our peanut and he’s definitely my son. Besides Cyn said he’s just as feisty as me.”

“You do realize that he actually is the size of a peanut…”

“See, you said he…”

Justin leans into Brian as Brian kisses his forehead and hairline, loving the feel of its silkiness on his face. Alex is pleased with the progress in today’s session but realizes that they need to have couples therapy for awhile to help them work through their issues and PTSD that he wonders if either one realizes they have.

Alex suggests that the two of them meet together with him for a few weeks as well as Justin meeting with him alone. Justin didn’t expect this but he’s open to doing whatever Dr. Wilder thinks is best for Brian - he can’t see that it’s for him as well yet.

Justin shows Alex out and Brian can’t believe how much better he feels after having carried all that emotional stress around for so long – questioning himself and worrying about their future.

~~~~

Everyone’s at Deb’s for Thanksgiving dinner, even Ben who she still hasn’t warmed up to yet. They’re watching the football games and eating appetizers when there’s a knock on the door. Everyone’s surprised because they’re not expecting anyone else; Justin canceled yesterday at the last minute. Ben saw them pull up and went out to greet them as no one else except Ted knows Brian’s travel van by sight; it’s designed to fit his wheelchair and has a lift.

Justin comes in, saying to Michael; “I got him to agree to come for dinner but he’s leaving before the Barbara Walters Special. Now could you please help me clear a path and make room for him?”

“Make room for who, baby?” spouts Deb.

“My boyfriend. He has some disabilities.”

“Oh, Sunshine, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Well, please do not act all emotional, he hates that sort of thing.”

“Of course not. I would never do anything so crass.”

Just then Michael comes in with Brian’s wheelchair followed by Ben, carrying Brian. He places him in his chair as Debbie stands there in shock, with tears running down her face. Once Brian is settled in his chair she comes over to him and puts her arms around him, holding him close, whispering, “We’ve missed you, you little asshole!” then she gently smacks him across the back of the head.

Vic’s the next. He bends down and hugs him, simply saying, “Welcome home, Brian.”

Mel just stares, not knowing what to say. If she doesn’t have a mean shot to take at him she really can’t think of a single thing to say, so she says, “Finally I meet Prince Charming!”

Gus comes stumbling down the stairs crying out; “Daddy! Daddy! I knew you’d come.”

Brian’s heart can’t help melting as he sees how much this means to his son to share the holidays. Gus climbs up into his lap and tells Brian that he even made him a Thanksgiving Day hat because he was so sure that he was coming.

Brian noticed all the construction paper pilgrim hats when he came in. He says, “Oh, I thought maybe we were going to re-enact the Salem witch trials. You know I’m pretty sure they were all lesbians…”

“Brian, really!” Lindsay huffs.

Michael and Ted are just snorting and laughing; Gus doesn’t understand what’s so funny. He likes all the hats and insists that everyone put theirs on. Of course Gus made Brian’s the same size as his, so he looks ridiculous in it, but he wears it anyways because his son made it and he loves him.

Debbie serves a huge spread; turkey and all the fixings, spaghetti with meatballs as well as linguini with white clam sauce, multiple salads, fresh fruits, cheese, olives and shellfish. Dessert was even more outrageous with pecan, pumpkin, apple, blueberry and lemon meringue pies.

Brian’s so glad he has his chair; he’s so full he couldn’t walk even if he could… It’s funny - he was so sure seeing everyone and being in his chair would change everything and the way people treated him but it didn’t… He was wrong. All this time he was wrong… Justin leans into him and gives him a big kiss. Brian thanks him for pushing him to come.

Brian says, “Let’s take these hats home so we can play witch hunt…”

“You do realize that you’re the one that’s going to be burnt at the stake, little boy… he he he…”

“I love being burnt on your stake. Let’s go home.”

After the boys have departed and the games are all over everyone settles in for the BWS. Deb is still in the kitchen finishing up when Michael calls to her and Vic to hurry up.

“You’re going to miss the beginning…”

‘Now tonight on the Barbara Walters Special, she will be interviewing author B.K. Taylor about his new book - A Love That Will Never Die. That’s the sequel to his bestseller, Three Little Words which is now number one on the New York Times bestseller list.’

Deb and Vic come running into the room and see Brian sitting on a sofa that the boys recognize as the one from Brian’s office. Deb and Vic both just stand there with their mouths wide open. Deb finally says, “Holy Shit… My Brian’s famous…”

Shock isn’t quite the right word and it’s the first time something has surprised her so much that she’s actually speechless as she watches the show unfold in front of her. She didn’t want to ask questions when Brian was here and now the BWS was explaining to everyone that he was in an accident, without mentioning any details of how it happened. He highlights the writing process he went through as part of his therapy.

Finally focusing on Ben’s research study, he shows the audience how important it is to support medical research and just how far things have come in the last twenty-five to thirty years. The last clip is of Brian and his buddies playing basket ball, practicing for the local Paralympics. Brian’s actually really good, but then again he always was athletic.

~~~~

“What do you mean I can’t have black and black as our wedding colors?”

“Brian, it’s a spring wedding.”

“I know but it’s at night.”

“I can at least have black as one of my colors, right?”

Emmett rolls his eyes and suggests navy-blue suits with powder blue shirts.

Justin’s hanging back in the kitchen; he can hear Brian yelling from the living room.

“It’s my wedding! I’ll have whatever I want.”

“Of course it is, and you can. It’s just that…well, black is just so dreary…”

“I’m not a queen! I don’t do pastels! I want black! I might even wear a tuxedo - A BLACK TUXEDO!!!”

Justin enters the room.

“Who wants lemonade?”

Brian snarks, “Make mine with vodka.” Justin sits on his lap, running his hands through his hair. “Shush… Whatever you want…”

“I’d love you in a black tuxedo and a gray shirt - that’s just fine if that’s what you want. But I was thinking, maybe you could wear a deep purple shirt and I could wear a lavender shirt and we’d wear the same suit or tuxedo….your choice.”

“I love that idea. Why don’t you just think that one over and we’ll move on to the menu or flowers…your choice?” Emmett says, trying to placate Brian.

“Well I’ll….” Brian says then he looks at Justin.

“I think we would like a formal sit-down dinner with full service and a full bar. And I mean full - all the best name brands of alcohol but of course, no one drives home drunk. So don’t let them serve anyone who looks like they’ve had too much to drink. I don’t want anyone to end up like me although I wasn’t drunk… I wasn’t… not really…”

Justin looks at Em and just smiles, nodding slightly just to let him know that this is a good thing. Brian needs to let it all out and talk about it, to help him accept it. To break the tension Brian realizes exists in the room he says, “What band should we get? It’s been so long since I’ve danced.”

That was enough to crack a smile from both Em and Justin. Em continues with, “I have scheduled a sampling of menus from five of the best local restaurants so next week you’ll be having dinner served here each night for five nights. Saturday afternoon Jen, Deb, Daph and Cyn are all meeting here to have the cheesecake tasting with both of you. I understand that’s what you want. Right, Justin?”

“We can have more than one type of cheesecake, right?”

“Of course, baby. you can have two cakes - a wedding cake and a groom’s cake.”

“But we’re both grooms.”

“Well, then, you can have three cakes, and the tiers on the wedding cake could be different flavors.”

Brian crinkles his nose and says, “One cake, maybe two flavors, not a rainbow of flavors. I want this to be very classic - not the Pride Wedding of the Year.”

“For flowers, I think Brian and I should have corsages of pale lavender roses and for the tables, large bouquets of white lilies, purple roses and Dutch iris.

“Now onto the linens and china. Do you want white and pale lavender? We can rent anything…”

~~~~

“Justin, do you still have problems using your hand?” asks Dr. Wilder.

“What… my hand? You don’t want to talk about Brian?”

“I’m sure we will. I just wanted to talk about you first, if that’s alright. Does Brian know that you’re still having problems with your hand?”

“No, I don’t want to worry him and it’s not all the time, so…”

“How long can you use it before it gets too painful?”

“Twenty minutes or so, I guess.”

“You know you could be doing more physical therapy with Brian to help strengthen the muscles in your hand. You should talk with Ben about what might be helpful. I know you were resistant when it first happened but you’re older and wiser now.”

“You think I should go into physical therapy?”

Alex just grins and says, “So how was your week with Mr. Snarky? Is he getting any better?”

“I came to surprise him and have lunch at the rehab center and I saw him working out with Ben and Bruce. He was trying to walk in the pool; they were holding him and it was really difficult for him. I could practically see tears in his eyes but he wouldn’t quit. I couldn’t watch. I had to leave. I knew he wouldn’t want me to see him like that.”

“He’s a very proud man and he’s worked very hard to get so far. When I first started treating Brian I didn’t know if he would ever want to get out of his bed, let alone walk. I know that part of it has a lot to do with you being here. He needs to prove to himself he can be the man you once knew. I don’t discourage him; he needs to stay positive, even if it’s not completely realistic.”

“He’s a very protective and passionate man but he would never want anyone to know.”

“You really love him.”

“Yeah, right from the start; I really went after him.”

“It seems you won.”

Justin’s all smiles then he frowns and says; “I had a lot of growing up to do as well.”

“That’s part of life, but you can’t blame yourself for Brian’s accident nor can he blame himself… it was an accident.”

“I know, but…”

“No buts… and the same with the bashing… it’s no one’s fault. Now you two need to start working on your current issues once you get past all that. So please talk with each other and be there for each other.”

“Yes, Doc.”

~~~~

“God! I can’t stop thinking about seeing the ultrasound; she looked so beautiful.”

“He looked strong and healthy. I can’t wait to meet my son.”

“Brian, I’m so glad we decided to call her Darryl, so when she’s born you won’t be disappointed she’s not a boy.”

“And when he’s a boy…”

“Shut up and kiss me…”

Justin’s POV

I push Brian down on the bed and crawl up his body like a cat in heat. I stop to lick and nip at his flesh until I reach his nipples and I take one in my mouth and gently suck while softly twisting and pulling on the other one. It isn’t long before I hear him purring with delight, he’s such a horn dog, always ready. I just have to look at him a certain way and he’s hard.

I switch nipples and continue stimulating him, making him squirm and writhe. I pull my head level with his and kiss him passionately, asking him what he wants, what he needs tonight. I always want to give him what he needs.

He smiles and says; “Make love to me, facing me, like your first time…”

They put their foreheads together and whisper ‘I love you’ to each other. Justin gently lifts Brian’s legs up onto his shoulders, running his hands down his thighs and calves. He can feel Brian shiver with anticipation and that makes both of them smile. Justin slips a finger deep into Brian’s moist pucker and Brian cries out with pleasure; “Ah, yes, Justin!”

Justin slides another finger in and scissors his man open a little more, working and stretching him then he squirts some lube and quickly enters him in one fell swoop. He lets him adjust as he burns and smolders when the sparks start and a built blond twink begins pumping his old man in sweet tender thrusts, increasing the speed with each movement. Rocking and grinding, they hold each other as their bodies speak a language that only they know.

Brian can’t help but suck and lick the side of Justin’s neck, biting him, leaving a large red mark for all to see. Brian’s getting so worked up and excited he knows he’s close so he whispers; “Fuck me, Justin! Oh God! Fuck me good and hard…”

Justin slides his hands down to Brian’s ass and pulls him in closer, slightly shifting then pounding the shit out of Brian’s prostate; he’s spurting like a volcano in a matter of seconds as he cries out Justin’s name passionately.

Justin gets up a few minutes later to retrieve a warm washcloth so they won’t wake up a crusty mess…

TBC…


	8. ~ Leo Brown, In the Library, With the Hand Weights…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys plan their wedding and Christmas; Justin questions his choices…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 4457  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52  
Queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone jn just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: The boys plan their wedding and Christmas; Justin questions his choices…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…  
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Three ~ Torture, Shrunken Heads and Bridezilla

Chapter Eight ~ Leo Brown, In the Library, With the Hand Weights…

Brian cries out his pain as he pulls his dysfunctional legs forward in the water, grasping hold of the handrails with Bruce in front and Ben behind him. He stops to catch his breath as his legs tremble and ache; he feels like he’s being tortured by the evil Dr. Bruckner and his faithful slave, master Bruce. He holds back his tears, just wanting to make a full lap once and he’s decided today is that day, even if it takes him an hour.

When he comes home from physical therapy that afternoon he’s beat and lies down with Gus and takes a nap. Gus is going to kindergarten in West Virginia; Brian lives in a better school district than Mel and Lindsay’s neighborhood. Jennifer picks him up on her way to work, drops him off at school then picks him up at lunchtime and drives him home if Justin isn’t free.

Gus sneaks out of bed earlier than usual and finds his way to Justin’s studio. He’s so excited to make a painting for his Dad. He decides he wants to use the grown-up paints in the tubes and the canvases, but with no brushes. He likes the way the paint squishes between his fingers as he smears it across the canvas.

Gus has completed two canvases before Justin finds him; he stands in the doorway watching his son. Yes, Gus is as much his son as Brian’s even if it’s not legally true. He’s furious but impressed all at the same time. Gus’s paintings are really inspiring, as good as some of Justin’s abstracts. Justin’s astonished by this. He backs out of the room then calls to Gus so as not to startle him.

Gus is so proud of his paintings that it’s hard to be mad at him; he tells Justin they’re wedding presents for him and Daddy.

The first one is swirls of red and cream with just hints of black flecks and the second is swirls of light and dark blue, accented with cream. Justin can’t help standing back, looking at them, thinking he has so much talent and is clueless at five years old.

He chastises Gus for going into the studio without him and wandering around the house alone - it’s too big for him and he could get lost or hurt. Justin strips him of his clothing, throwing them in the washer and puts Gus in the shower to rinse off his hair and hands, then into a big bubble bath.

Justin can’t help wondering just when it is that we all start losing that childhood wonder where you are completely unconscious of things like paint in your hair and everything still has a magical feel to it.

~~~~

After Thanksgiving it was decided that Brian and Justin would host Christmas this year.

“I can’t believe we somehow got signed up for Christmas dinner, while we’re planning a wedding and having a baby… What do you say? Want to remodel while we’re at it?”

“Calm down, Sunshine, we’ll figure it out.

“Turkey, I’ve never cooked a turkey… “

“How about we have it catered?”

“Or prime rib, I’ve never cooked prime rib before either. You think this is funny? Stop laughing.”

“You’re so adorable when you’re stressed out.”

“Don’t try and be nice to me. What are we going to do?”

“I think we should hire a caterer; we could use our second choices for the wedding and let everyone else bring the desserts.

“Do you think Em understood why we wanted to hire a caterer for the wedding and not use him?”

“I think once you explained to him that you wanted him to be part of the celebration and not part of the staff he understood, although he’s still giving the function and instructing the serving staff. To tell you the truth, I don’t know how he cooks all that food and does everything else.”

“So just have Em do Christmas too.

You know you want to with all the decorations you were dreaming about online?”

“I did love those crystal ornaments, the blue and the clear ones.”

~~~~

“He’s finally asleep.”

“From now on, no more chocolate after seven o’clock for him or you! It’s never too early for you to switch to no carbs after seven.”

A pillow hits the side of Brian’s head and then Justin sticks his tongue out at Brian and says; “I thought you liked my new and improved figure… want to feel my biceps, baby?”

Brian just grins and leans back against the pillows piled up behind him. Justin stands several feet away in the soft amber glow from the lamp turned down low. He runs his hands down his arms then around his waistband. He lets one hand slip down the front of his pants, cupping his penis, outlining it through the fabric. Then he slides his hand away and his erection tents the denim where his hand had been.

He licks his lips and looks at Brian with hooded eyes as he slinks towards him, pulling his shirt over his shoulder and letting it drop down on the floor. He hooks his thumbs into his waistband and pulls as the buttons on his 501’s pop open. With a wiggle of his ass his pants are around his ankles.

He climbs up onto the bed and Brian’s body; they stare into each other’s eyes as their desire for one another grows. Justin’s cock is firm and dripping, leaving a thin trail of precum as he grazes Brian’s calves and thighs. About mid-calf Brian’s facial expression changes and Justin knows he can feel the cool drying sensation from his spunk. He just grins and wonders how long Brian’s has been able to feel those sensations.

He continues up Brian’s body, dragging the moist tip until he meets his mate and they swim and dance in their own juices as Justin ruts against Brian’s groin. He takes them both into his hands, working them up into a frenzy until both of them are ready to explode. Then he stops and applies pressure to the base of both their cocks as they catch their breaths.

Justin says; “Don’t cum; I want you to cum inside of me.”

Brian just grins as Justin says that almost every time; he knows just how much he loves it when he shoots inside of him and how it feels, seeping out. Justin calls them love drops but he still complains about sleeping on the wet spot so he sleeps all snuggled up against Brian with his head on his chest.

Justin leans in and kisses Brian, tenderly whispering; “I’m going to ride you; I’m going to ride you so hard we’re both going to see white lightning.”

Brian loves it when Justin gets horny and wanton with need for his cock; having become a huge fan of bottoming he now understands. He just wishes he could really fuck him like old times when he was still stud of Liberty Avenue. He doesn’t really miss that part, just the part about feeling powerful and in control with Justin. He no longer needs other men to feel complete.

Justin breaks their kiss and whispers; “I love you” as he proceeds down Brian’s chest, stopping to gently suck his nipples for a minute or two each, making Brian squirm and writhe. He plays with his belly button by rimming it for a minute before fully fucking it with his tongue, eliciting a moan from his prisoner.

Once Justin has reached his primary target he swirls his tongue around the tip and swishes it across the slit while his hand plays and twists his hard shaft. Brian exudes more pre-cum, making himself nice and sticky. Justin aligns himself with Brian’s cock, sits down on him, feeling himself become full.

Brian reaches back and puts his hands on Justin’s hips and ass as Justin raises his feet and ankles, placing them on Brian’s shoulders with his feet flat against the wall. So as Brian pulls him in closer, he can push back with his feet as they get a rocking rhythm building between them.

It isn’t long before both of them are keening, close to the edge again. Justin’s chanting Bri, Bri, Bri as Brian’s cock slams into his prostate repeatedly and Justin’s warm slick walls grasp and wring Brian’s semen out of him. Brian cries out “Justin” as he wonders when sex became so intense for them.

It just seems so much more sensitive and he can feel it in every fiber of his being, right down to his fingertips and his toes… He thinks his motherfucking toes as he curls them up, and he shoots deep inside his blond…

Justin says, “You’re fucking amazing!”

Brian replies, “I know I am.”

Justin says, “I love you.”

Brian replies, “I know.” Justin hits him in the arm softly and then kisses the same spot.

~~~~

Two weeks later…

Gus is being fitted for his suit as ring bearer along with Brian and Justin being fitted for their tuxedos. Armand is taking longer than expected and Jennifer has just served coffee and sandwiches to Leo Brown who called out of the blue and wanted to stop by to see Brian’s new offices. Cynthia was surprised as he is scheduled to meet with Brian in the middle of January, and its only December 19th and everyone’s very busy this time of year.

Gus, having overheard Jennifer telling Brian that Mr. Brown was in the library decides that he’ll help his Dad out today because he’s running late. Gus comes into the library, wearing his suit still pinned with Armand’s tailoring adjustments and barefoot.

He’s dragging the paintings he made for Justin and Brian because all he knows is that his dad yells, the art department brings him what they just finished then he shows it to the client. Gus can hardly carry his artwork so Leo helps him set it up on the easels. He turns and says, “Good afternoon, Mr. Leo Brown, my name is Gus Peterson-Marcus-Taylor-Kinney.

Leo says, “That’s a mouthful…”

Gus thinks that’s funny because he doesn’t have anything in his mouth. He continues with, “I’m so glad you could come to my house today; I’ve wanted to show someone my paintings for my Daddies for so long. I made these for their wedding present and I hope my Daddy likes them. He hasn’t seen them yet; I want them to be a surprise.”

“I do like them? I like them a lot, young man.”

From the hallway Gus can hear someone calling him; his eyes get really big and he hides under the table. Leo can’t help smirking then thinking there’s been meetings where he wanted to crawl under the table as well. An almost six months pregnant Cynthia comes into the room looking for Gus. She’s so preoccupied with looking in every corner - she can’t really look under the table easily.

Gus is surprised that Leo didn’t give him up, and Cynthia didn’t notice the paintings on the easels. Gus comes out from under the table and says that was close; he climbs up on Leo’s lap and that’s when he notices the sandwiches and fruit. Gus’s eyes get really big and a smile spreads across his face as he says, “I’m starving, let’s eat.”

Leo is completely taken with Gus; he’s a miniature Brian complete with all his charm. Leo rarely sees his children and he wonders if his grandchildren would even know him if they passed on the street. Gus is on his second sandwich triangle, he loves it when Jen cuts the sandwiches this way – just like Justy and his moms. Cynthia and Daddy do it all wrong.

His mouth is dry so he makes his way over to the intercom and blasts the whole house with a request for milk, please… He doesn’t know how to call a single room; Brian’s actually surprised that he knows how to use the system at all. Justin pages Gus, asking where to bring it. Gus looks a little frightened then says; “It’s for Leo, and hurry up!” And Justin thought his days of waiting tables were over…

Jennifer and Brian come into the room; Jen’s carrying a tray with glasses and a pitcher of milk just in case Leo really wanted a glass of milk. Gus jumps up and says; “No, Daddy. I’m meeting with Mr. Leo Brown and I haven’t closed the deal yet.”

Gus then crawls back up onto Leo’s lap and looks at his dad and says, “I guess you can stay.”

But then Brian notices the canvases and questions where they came from. Gus turns and faces Leo, begging him not to tell. Leo simply says; “I believe from your junior art director.”

Brian wheels closer and inspects them as Gus tries to hide them but he’s too short to block them. “Daddy, no. Don’t look… They’re a surprise for your wedding.”

“From who, Gus?”

Brian still didn’t get it, they were really good paintings and he can’t believe that they’re getting wedding presents already - the wedding isn’t until the end of February and the invitations haven’t even gone out yet. That’s just another thing that they’re behind on.

“I… Daddy, I made them.”

“With Justin?”

“No, without him. It was a surprise…”

“Wow, Gus, I love them. You did so well I can’t believe it.”

Brian’s truly taken with his son and his artistic ability. By this time Gus has crawled up into Brian’s lap and Brian kisses his forehead and hairline, telling him how much he loves and will always treasure them. Justin joins them for a few minutes and Leo’s all smiles as he congratulates them and makes them promise to invite him to the wedding.

Once Justin and Gus have left the library Brian and Leo sit and talk for a couple of hours. When he finally leaves, Brian has signed a contract to advertise Brown’s new women’s athletic equipment and sportswear. Leo would also like to use Gus’s modern paintings as a design pattern on the sportswear, hand weights, exercise balls, headbands and socks.

The new women’s line of products will be a real coup for Kinnetik and Brian can’t help feeling so proud that Leo wanted Gus’s designs - but he had to turn Leo down on that idea because they were made as wedding presents. Brian assures Leo that the art department will create a half dozen or so design for the new line with the same feel as Gus’s paintings so there’s nothing to worry about.

~~~~

“I’m pulling my hair out as Brian and I firm up the Christmas dinner menu which seems to be growing as fast as the guest list; Michael, Ben, Ted, Blake, Em and Guest, Deb, Carl, Vic, Rodney, Cynthia, Wayne, Bruce and his wife, Mel, Lindsay, Gus, Jennifer, Tucker, Molly, Marco and his partner, Brian and me. Twenty four. Oh God! My nerves are shot…!”

“Brian, can we please decide on the damn menu? So far I have…”

“Not now, I have an appointment…”

“Tonight, promise.”

“I promise.”

~~~~

I don’t know why but I needed to see my mother and I didn’t want it to be a big deal. I had no idea how it would go so I didn’t tell Justin. I know that was wrong of me but if things go alright I’ll tell him. So I’m waiting in the small private section of Nathan’s, her favorite restaurant from when we were kids. I’m actually nervous about seeing her, it’s been over two years and I don’t expect it to go well.

I don’t stand to greet her and I can tell she’s insulted but she’ll understand before she leaves. I smile and ask her to have a seat. She says; “You must be doing well; you sent a car service to pick me up.”

I can’t start with ‘I didn’t want you to drive drunk’ - that might not go over too well. I smile and say, “I’m so glad you could see me; I know it’s been a while. I know we don’t see eye to eye on so many things but I’m hoping we can put our differences aside.”

“Brian, what’s this about? Are you sick? Do you have that AIDS disease?”

“No, Mom, I’m going to live… I just thought…”

Brian turns his head to the side wishing he hadn’t asked to see her, wondering why he thought it might be different. He looks back and says, “No, Mom, I’m fine. I just wanted to see you, wanted to take you some place nice. I wanted a chance to know you as a person, as an adult and I thought you might want to know your grandchildren.”

Joan covers her heart with her hand “Grandchildren. Oh my God, Brian! Really?” A few tears run down her face and she slowly says, “You have a child?” as she dries her eyes with a handkerchief.

“I have a son, Gus who’s five years old and a child due the first of April.” Brian goes on to tell her about him and Justin and their plans to marry. He asks if she remembers him from when she stopped by that time with the chocolate cake. He even thanks her for bringing it by because it really is his favorite cake and it’s one of the few things she does for him that’s kind.

It was enough to break the ice. He tells her that he’s started his own business and has invested wisely and asks how she’s doing financially? She blushes and says that it’s become too much for her to handle her checking account and she was hoping Clair might start managing her bills. Brian says that he’ll have his accountant handle it for her.

Brian asks how Clair and the boys are just to make conversation and is surprised by his mother’s admission concerning Jack. It seems that Clair has married someone like Jack that takes out his anger on his wife and children. She whispers; “I always believed that John Sr. was a good man, that he knew what was right. Clair never mentioned anything until after he left her.”

“I understood how she could hide something like that; you feel so embarrassed and ashamed. I was always so afraid someone would find out about your father. I never meant for him to hurt you, Brian. I’m so sorry. I should have stood up to him, but I was too frightened.”

“I never thought about the fact that he was probably beating you as well as Clair.”

“I wasn’t a very good mother. I should have protected you and your sister more; I wanted you so badly when I was pregnant with you. I just assumed that Jack would come around; I never though he would become more violent. I tried to protect you and Clair but once you both were older he just shoved me aside and went after you. I’m so sorry, Brian.”

“I want to forgive you, but I might need some time. I really struggled with my childhood fears. I… I have a lot of issues because of the way I dealt with how he beat me and I withdrew emotionally. You’re not supposed to be stoic, callous and cynical by ten.”

“Brian, I’m so sorry…”

Brian believes his mother and starts looking at her through different eyes. Jack was a strong man, a tall man and not one you could ignore or walk away from. I remember my mother always wearing big dark sunglasses and cardigan sweaters all the time as a kid, but it never occurred to me that she was hiding scars and bruises inside and out.

“I know, Mom. I understand now hard it was for you. But you have to know that leaving would have been better.”

“Brian, I could never get a divorce. The church doesn’t really approve and I didn’t have any skills to support you and your sister. Jack was always a pushy man and he was a pushy young man as well. I met him on a double date when I was just fifteen and as I’m sure you must have figured out by now I was pregnant when I got married.”

“I want you to understand I always tried to do what was expected of me. I came from a lower middle class family in this steel town and I had no future at anything, considering I was pregnant and married by sixteen. I didn’t know Jack would turn into a mean drunk as he got older. When we were kids he would sneak beers from his Dad but I never thought it would lead to him drinking everyday.”

“Mom”

“No, Brian I know what you think, but I’ve changed since you’ve seen me. Did you notice I didn’t order wine with lunch? I’ve been sober for seventeen months and I feel so much better and have so much more energy.”

“I’m glad for you, Mom, I really am. I want you to be as healthy as possible. I now have a much better understanding about taking care of yourself and your body.”

Lunch proceeded along nicely and in the end Brian never did tell his mother about the accident. He just didn’t know how to bring it up so he let it ride for a little while longer. He signaled to her driver when lunch was over and he was actually able to stand in place, holding the table and back of the booth, looking relatively natural as he said good bye to his mother. At the last minute he invited her and Clair for Christmas dinner.

He had no idea what came over him but felt the need to try and be a better son and at least try and help his mother if she could accept him as he is. She smiled nervously and tentatively accepted his invitation for the holiday, saying that John and Peter were a handful at best.

Brian signaled to Bruce who brought his wheelchair and helped him out of the restaurant. Brian didn’t know what he was feeling after his lunch with his mother so he just instructed him to drive around through the rolling hills surrounding his home as he contemplated a new relationship with his mother.

~~~~

Justin sits in Starbuck’s, nursing a latte, feeling overwhelmed by life. Finally Daphne shows up and looks at him questionably.

“What’s wrong with you? You’re paler than normal - as white as a ghost.”

“I feel nauseous…”

“Did you eat something bad?”

“About the wedding…”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…”

“What, what are you talking about?”

“I’m having second thoughts…”

“Oh, Justin, you’re just having…what do they call that??? Cold feet… Everything will be okay.”

“I don’t know. I’m just feeling overwhelmed, planning Christmas and the wedding. But I can’t stop thinking about how I’m only twenty three and I’ll be married. I’ve never traveled to Europe or even explored the United States.”

“You forgot about becoming a father in there somewhere and the love of your life.”

“Terry, this guy from my life drawing class has been to Europe the last two summers and he’s going again this summer. Just hitch hiking around and painting and drawing, it sounds like it would be great.”

“Terry???”

“I mentioned him; we did that mural for Professor Walton’s class together last term.”

“Justin, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing… it’s just he’s so full of life and energy. We really seem to click when we work together.”

“So, I guess because you two are so close he’s met Brian and been to the house. Is he coming to the wedding?”

“Daph… He’s a free spirit and thinks getting married is lame; he thinks I’m too young…”

“Who are you and where’s Justin? Are you crazy? You just got everything you ever wanted and now you question it. You don’t deserve it, you arrogant little bastard.”

“I’m just scared, Daph, that’s all. What if I can’t do it? What if it’s too much for me and I start to resent Brian and all his needs?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Terry said that after a few years of marriage things will look a lot different than now. That I’ll be unsatisfied and feel trapped; that it will suck the life out of me. That it already is…”

“Who the fuck is TERRY? He doesn’t know you or what you want. Have you kissed him?”

“What! No, no, not really.”

“What! What’s wrong with you?”

“I was just feeling overwhelmed and needed someone to talk with and he was there.”

“Does he want to fuck you?”

“Daphne!”

“Well, does he?”

“Yeah, yeah, but I stopped it before it got that far.”

“Got that far, how far did it get?”

“We made out and I let him blow me… I almost let him fuck me… I wanted him to. I wanted it hard and rough, to be dominated. What’s wrong with me, Daph? Why do I want to cheat on him?”

Daphne just looks at him and thinks she can’t believe him; he’s going to lose it all because of more foolish little words. She wants to get up and walk out on him. She hates him because she can almost see that he’s leaving for his next adventure. But he won’t find what he’s looking for because it’s trapped deep inside of him.

~~~~

Justin bolts straight up in, covered in a cold sweat, shaking. He feels Brian’s hand on his back calming him, asking him what’s wrong. Justin just whispers; “I had a bad dream…”

“About?”

Daphne and I were at Starbucks and I was talking about some guy named Terry, but I don’t even know anyone named Terry.”

“Uh huh, what about him?”

Justin looks at Brian and says, “He was in some of my classes and we worked on a mural. It was a strange dream.”

“And that upset you?”

“No… He questioned my choices and made me realize what I have and what I don’t.”

“That sounds serious, should I be concerned?

“No, no, not at all. I have no problem with my choices.”

Of course Justin wants to talk with Dr. Wilder about it the next day because the truth is it scares him a little. Would he grow resentful? Would he see his life as a sacrifice? Would living a lifetime with Brian’s disability be too much for him to bear? Did he want to be with other men? Or was this all just pre-wedding jitters?

He cuddles up against Brian, saying, “Just hold me tight.”

TBC…


	9. ~ Pushing, Pulling, Twisting and Writhing…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bridezilla and cold feet drive the boys to the edge…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3568  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52  
Queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone jn just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Bridezilla and cold feet drive the boys to the edge…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…  
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Three ~ Torture, Shrunken Heads and Bridezilla

Chapter Nine ~ Pushing, Pulling, Twisting and Writhing…

The stress of the wedding and being overwhelmed by Christmas was becoming too much for Justin as he sat in Starbucks, wide awake, this time contemplating what his dream was all about.

“I think I was right about the dream. It’s just pre-wedding jitters, you know, cold feet. Because we both know that you want to marry Brian more than anything in this world.” Daph finally says.

“Then why do I feel so lost?”

“Have you talked to Brian about this?”

“Not really. I mentioned the dream but didn’t really go into details. How can I?

“Because your subconscious is trying to tell you something.”

~~~~

Later that night at dinner Brian asks Justin about his dream from the night before. Justin’s startled but then he tells Brian about the dream, that he’s sure it’s just cold feet. But Brian isn’t convinced and thinks maybe Justin should take some time to think things through.

Justin can’t help getting furious with Brian as he suggests that Justin actually date other people for a month, as in move out. He’s so mad he’s slamming doors and screaming, “Fine, fine but I’m only moving down the hall and I’m not sleeping with you. Asshole!”

“You know. Maybe you’re right. I should go out.”

Justin starts dressing in his tight black jeans and a black sleeveless shirt. He almost glows; it’s one of Brian’s favorite outfits. He comes out to where Brian is finishing dinner and says, “How’s this? Do you think I’ll get screwed for sure wearing this?”

It’s hard to say who’s angrier at that moment. Brian can’t believe he’s actually considering going out. They’re in the middle of a fight. Nothing is making any sense… So he spits out. “Go! See if I care.”

Justin slips into his leather boots and grabs his black leather jacket and leaves without saying a word. He gets into the jeep and drives down the long drive, but turns at the stables. Once he’s out of sight he parks and lights a joint. Brian just infuriates him at times; he can’t believe how wrong things have turned out tonight. He’s angry, sad and discouraged.

Justin’s POV

Brian actually suggested that I go on vacation after Christmas until school starts again in January. He said that he’d handle all the wedding plans and I’d get a pre-honeymoon vacation to relax. And if for some reason I really did decide I wasn’t ready he promised that it would all be okay.

But then things just accelerated with me queening out tonight… I really didn’t want to go out. So I got out of the jeep and jogged to the back of the house and took the back stairway up to my studio then finished up the joint. I’m starving so I order a pizza and ask Marco to bring it up when it comes.

Now that I’m good and stoned I decide to vent some of my anger so I strip off my club clothes so I won’t ruin them and decide to be a free sprit like Gus and paint in the nude; it is freeing. I start with a new canvas and decide to use cobalt blue like the sea or the anger in my eyes. Yes, that’s it! I realize I’m frustrated. Why is it that Brian always feels like it’s up to him to decide what best for me?

I get to decide! Another smear, lighter blue, then a jagged line of black… These are my feelings! Stop making me conform to your idea of what I should be feeling!

He takes a wider brush and runs the trail of colors together and watches in wonder as they twist and swirl into multiple lines in the sea of anger.

He stands back, looking at his masterpiece, swaying a little to the song playing in his ears from his I-pod. He still hadn’t noticed Brian, who had taken the elevator up to bring him his pizza and a six pack of Becks beer. It wasn’t until the aroma hits his nose that he turns and sees his fiancé, watching him in wonder.

“Brian”, Justin grins a huge sunshine smile and says; “Oh God, I’m starving…” He leans in and kisses Brian then grabs the pizza box, asking if Brian wants some. Brian says, “I’m not the one that ran out in the middle of dinner. You should have stayed; it was great.”

Now Justin pulls his lips into his mouth and says; “Well, I was having a meltdown at the time. Best to leave, I think…”

“No, no, Justin. The only way we’re going to make it work, is if we stop running away and stay and get it all out - tell each other what we’re feeling.”

“Who are you and where’s my fiancé?”

Justin crawls up into Brian’s lap and says; “I don’t know where my head is at right now. I’m just feeling crazy.”

Brian opens them each a beer and says, “I talked with Daphne and she has to be back from Christmas break January 17th. So I’ve booked you two a flight to Hawaii; now try not to get arrested.

“Oh, Brian, I can’t believe you.”

He starts kissing him, whispering how much he loves him.

“But I don’t want to go without you. Why can’t you come too?”

“You know I can’t. I have business meetings and I’m really behind in my writing. Nate is going to be on my ass after the holidays as it is, besides the obvious.”

“Two weeks! I can’t live without you for that long…”

Brian just grins. He thinks that’s romantic.

“Brian, you know I’m not going to sleep with other guys. I’m just not…”

“It’s okay if you do… I want you to get it all out if that’s what you need.”

“I’m not going back. We’ve been raw for almost ten months now and I’m not going back… ever.”

Yep, totally romantic.

~~~~

“Emmett, I’m so glad you could come out, I need to talk with you about the wedding; I want to hold off on printing the invitations.”

“What! Is something wrong?”

“No, no problem. It’s just that Justin’s going to take a little break and travel to Hawaii for a couple weeks. I want to make some changes to the plans and leave things more flexible.”

“Take a little break? Brian…”

“It’s nothing. It was my idea. He was so stressed out he needs a break and I’m going to handle all the wedding plans with you.”

“Oh great… Just the two of us… ”

“Now I’ve changed my mind on the flowers. I want something simple and elegant, like long tall vases of Birds of Paradise. And I don’t think we need to wear corsages - that seems too formal.”

“Too formal? You’re wearing tuxedos…”

“Yeah. That’s the thing. I’m thinking maybe I’d rather we just wore suits.”

“Brian, what’s going on? Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m fine, Em, really… Now we could use some help with Christmas as well…”

“Christmas? As in this Christmas that’s in five days?”

~~~~

Justin was daydreaming, waiting for Daphne to go Christmas shopping; he took an inventory in his mind of what it was he needed to pack to take with him to Hawaii. This is such a surprise and he thinks maybe Brian’s right - he feels like things are completely out of control.

The funny thing is that the only thing that seems to calm his nerves is the idea of holding his daughter. Daphne sits down across from him and asks how he’s feeling. She’s so excited to be going to Hawaii over school break. Hell, she’ll marry Brian if Justin backs out.

“I was just thinking about Darryl. I can’t wait until she gets here.”

“You look so happy just thinking about her. See, that’s how I know that all this is just cold feet.”

“I know you’re right. I do love him so much and Darryl…just thinking about her melts my heart.”

“You want this so bad. It’s just that the timing got so screwed up. Darryl wasn’t supposed to be arriving for another six months to a year. That’s your problem, but that’s life. Isn’t it always what you least expect.”

“I do really love her so much already…”

“But you know, I think Brian’s right. Darryl is a boy.”

“I’m ignoring you… I need to start planning the nursery and playroom.”

“I don’t think you’ll need a playroom for a year or so and I’ll help with the nursery.”

“You’ll have to talk with Mr. Kinney; he has some very specific ideas. And of course he’s hiring the same company that child-proofed the whole house.”

“I want to paint the walls a moss green and paint a forest mural on the walls. Brian says I’ll scare the baby; he’s probably right but I could do Gus’s room that way.”

“I think it sounds totally cool, but for a baby you need something soft and cuddly. Like Care Bears or Thomas the Tank Engine.”

“Oh God, I’m going to be sick… That’s so commercial.”

“You are marrying Mr. Commercial, you know.”

“Not in his personal life…”

“No, of course not… Prada, Gucci, Calvin Klein, Valentino. Need I go on…?”

“It’s different”

“Yeah, he’s a snob - a rich, gay snob…”

“Are you insulting me and my husband?”

“You betcha!”

“I already feel so much better.”

“Good! Now I’m going to give you your Christmas present early because, well, I had to beg them to give these classes. They’re scuba diving lessons, just the basics. We’ll learn in a pool, starting this afternoon and have classes every day until we leave. Then we’ll meet up with Don’s brother, Dan who runs a scuba diving shop in Hawaii.”

“What! Wow! Really? We’re going to learn to scuba dive, today?”

“Yep, that’s the plan.”

“What about Christmas shopping? I need to get some presents.”

“Have you heard of the internet and overnight shipping?”

“Daph, do you think it’s okay if we change the tickets until January 1st? I really want to spend New Years’ Eve with Brian, especially since I’ll be gone for so long afterwards.”

“Soooo long! Two weeks! God, you have it bad! I can’t wait until someday I feel that crazy in love with someone myself.”

“I don’t know, Daph. It makes you do crazy things, the passion is so strong. Like Brian - he’s convinced himself that he’s going to walk again and I admire that, but I worry that he won’t be able to achieve that goal and it will crush him. He’s not ready to accept that he really might not walk again and I’m scared to death of that too.”

“You have to think positive.” She says, knowing that Brian’s already able to walk with assistance in the pool. He still has three months before the wedding and a good chance of walking with a walker. But walking unaided - he’s so much further along that anyone expected.

She’s honored to be in Brian’s inner circle of trust as he wants so badly to give this as his wedding present to Justin - the man who more closely resembles the one he fell in love with five years ago.

“I knew you’d want to spend New Years’ Eve with Brian so I asked him to change them. Besides, we need our scuba lessons and will still have two full weeks. Maybe we can learn to surf too…”

Then she squeals and they both do a happy dance as they get up and make their way out of Starbucks.

~~~~

Emmett’s just finishing up the Christmas party checklist with Brian as he works out with Ben and Bruce. He’s bench pressing his upper body strength as well as working on toning and developing muscle control and strength in his legs. He’s actually a lot stronger than he realizes; he just can’t feel it yet.

His nerve endings have re-grown and attached themselves almost all the way down his legs. Now it’s at the point where Brian’s feet often feel like they’re stinging or burning, or just plain asleep with the pins and needles along with the fuzziness that drives him crazy.

He knows he should have told Justin how much sensation has returned, but this is his surprise and Sunshine will just have to wait.

“So you understand that I don’t like Christmas colors - no red or green.”

“Got it.” Emmett smiles - just like I got it the first dozen times you said it.

“So blue, silver and white, maybe some gold, but not much. I like silver.”

“Got it.” Em wonders how long it takes for him to get dressed or if he has his big walk-in closet catalogued by days or occasion. He can just see his valet holding up outfits for hours on end as Brian drinks cappuccino.

“Em, Emmett, you in there?”

“Yes, Brian, where were we? Okay, so we’ve placed the order to be overnight couriered from New York Tiffany’s fine crystal ornaments collection.”

They’re both co-ordinated to match each other and it has cost a small fortune. Brian has also asked them to send a few other gifts along. While he had them on the line for almost two hours as they worked with Emmett, Brian cruised the website with a live salesperson who helped him select jewelry and various presents - a set of lamps for Justin, some knick-knacks for Deb, and so on…

~~~~

It’s getting dark out and Gus is sitting on Brian’s lap as he waits for Justin to return from his first scuba diving lesson. He can’t wait to hear all about it; he knew when Daphne mentioned it, it was the perfect accompaniment to the vacation. Gus is sipping ginger ale as Brian sips a Jack Daniels. Gus likes that it looks like he’s drinking a grown-up drink.

Brian can’t help thinking that this time next year he just might have two children sitting on his lap on Christmas Eve. It’s the first time since his childhood that he’s allowed himself to feel the excitement and wonder of the season. So many years of his father getting drunk and tripping on his new toys and breaking them but now he knows he can change.

The boys finish up their drinks and Jennifer comes in to get Gus all tucked into his winter coat, scarf and mittens. He looks more like an abominable snowman than a little boy. Of course Brian thinks he looks adorable in his new Prada coat. Even if it is a little too big right now, he’ll grow into it.

~~~~

Brian sits in the dark, watching the glow from the fireplace, wondering what life will bring in the next few months. Will he and Justin find their way through? Is it all just pre-wedding jitters or is he finally realizing what he would be sacrificing to live a life with him? He drains his second glass of Jack and wonders why Justin isn’t home yet; the house is so dark and quiet without him.

Brian fell asleep in front of the fire so Justin made dinner and then woke his sleeping partner to a late supper. He explains that after he dropped Daphne off, he went Christmas shopping at the mall. He’d called and talked to Marco who said Brian was napping.

“I hope you weren’t worried.”

“No, of course not.”

“I know it’s after seven, but I made linguini with white clam sauce; it was fast and easy and I know you like it. Do you want a glass of wine or anything else?”

“Water would be great, and this garlic bread is pretty good.”

Justin thinks, yeah he loves my cooking. Pretty good in Kinney-speak means fantastic.

“This sauce seems to get more perfect each time you make it, it’s amazing. It’s loaded with carbs but I can work them off after dinner.”

Now Justin just grins, feeling excited about later; he tells Brian about his day and of course, the scuba diving lessons. How incredible it’s going to be in Hawaii and he thanks Brian again for trying to help him overcome the anxiety he’s experiencing.

Brian’s glad that he seems more relaxed so maybe everything will be alright after all, maybe…

~~~~

Justin’s POV

We spend a long romantic evening in bed, in front of the fireplace. I massaged Brian’s muscles back and front, helping him relax to my touch. I can tell he’s stressed and concerned about where my head is at and that I’ll leave or at least change my mind.

But I’m not. I think we both just need to talk with Dr. Wilder. The holidays are a hard time for Brian then add the wedding, a baby and me freaking out. Yeah, he’s allowed to be concerned about the future, but like I said, I’m not going anywhere. And if our marriage did get to a point that it was more open, I know we can deal with that as well, right?

We make out, rutting against one another, holding each other close. I decide that I want to take him from behind, just like the second-first time for us - slow and gentle. I want to make him feel loved so that this is just another beginning for us, not the end.

I climb over him and lay next to him and I’m surprised how easy it is for him to roll onto his side. I’m totally impressed but I don’t say anything. I just grin with excitement, I’m so proud. I kiss the side of his neck just under his left ear that I know drives him crazy with yearning and whisper; “Is this what you want? Do you want my big wet cock?”

Justin’s voice sounds so commanding it totally puts Brian’s need into overdrive as he whispers; “Oh God, yes, hurry. I need you!”

Justin spreads Brian’s legs and runs his weeping member across Brian’s penis and continues along the path, poking and teasing just a tad across his perineum. Brian’s breathing has become ragged and his longing for cock is overwhelming as his own penis is dripping and oozing down his abs.

“Justin, please, I need you.” He whispers.

The art of teasing is a lesson well taught by Professor Kinney and Justin can’t help letting it linger just a bit more. He then decides to take Brian’s balls into his hand rotating them slowly, letting Brian enjoy each and every sensation as it washes through him. He brings him closer to climax by working his shaft, making him surrender to him within just minutes.

While Brian is still catching his breath, shaking with intense gratification Justin takes the opportunity to enslave the beast as he slips a cock ring onto his partner and the cool metal reacts with his hot flesh. Justin works his perineum muscle again without touching any other part of him and he’s hard as steel…

Brian is so worked up and ready; he loves an aggressive Justin. It turns him on so much it’s crazy; his boy is growing up into a man. Justin climbs up his back and mounts him; running his wet penis up and down his crack, meeting a nice juicy rosebud waiting to be plucked.

It only took a couple of strong, hard pushes to fully penetrate Brian’s wet canal. Justin shivers as he slides inside his lover and knows he’s home. Whatever reservations he was having that last few days were melting away. He knows where he belongs, where he will always belong.

Justin kisses the back of Brian’s neck and shoulders as he waits for him to adjust; he couldn’t help sucking ever so gently again and again, leaving a bright red hickey, something for Brian to see while he was gone. He releases his lips and kisses Brian’s cheek as he whispers, “Ready?”

He puts one palm flat against Brian’s stomach and the other on his hips as he starts sliding in and out of his fiancé, creating wonderful friction, pulling both of them closer. Brian’s throbbing with need, bound in his metal prison, waiting for his pardon from the Governor.

But the warden is relentless, as he takes his pleasure out on him, slamming into Brian’s prostate again and again. Brian’s almost ready to beg Justin to release him but he knows this game too well. He’ll wait until Justin’s so lost in his fuck he can’t hold back anymore. He also knows Justin can’t hold out anywhere near as long as he could as a big bad top.

But that’s okay with him. Justin’s young with needs and desires. Brian’s getting a good workout and he now understands Daphne and Justin’s private joke. (Daph told him) about the “wide receiver”. I’ll be your wide receiver any day, baby… Brian thinks to himself.

Justin’s so close he can’t hold back any longer. They’re really working themselves against one another. He rests his head on Brian’s shoulder. Reaching around with a couple more spot-on jabs to his prostate, he releases the cock ring and Brian shoots all over his chest and neck like a fucking volcano, just as Justin comes, crying out his name in intense passion.

They’re both completely drenched in sweat and cum. Just another night at the Taylor-Kinney residence.

TBC…


	10. ~ Sugar Plum Fairies Dancing in my Head…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and his family become closer at Christmas time…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3688  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Brian and his family become closer at Christmas time…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…

It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Three ~ Torture, Shrunken Heads and Bridezilla

Chapter Ten ~ Sugar Plum Fairies Dancing in my Head…

I answered the phone; it was the middle of the night and the hospital was calling. Apparently Brian’s sister, Clair was in a grave condition. We raced to the hospital as soon as we could. I had no idea how long it had been since he had seen her or his mother so I assumed they knew nothing about Brian’s condition. Shock was the reaction Brian’s mother had when she saw him; she started crying and actually hugged him and he let her. I didn’t understand but I went with it; that was better than them tearing each other apart.

Brian said he’d tell her about it as we waited, but he wanted to hear about Clair first. Joan looked down and said. “John came back and wanted to take the boys for the holidays, out of state. That’s against their agreement and Clair was supposed to have them on Christmas Day. He picked them up on New Year’s Day.”

“Go on…”

“They started arguing and John hit Clair. John Jr. took Peter to a friend’s house and called the police but they didn’t come for over an hour and John was long gone by then.”

“And Clair?”

“She’s….she’s not well, Brian. She’s been beaten severely; she has multiple broken bones and internal bleeding. The doctor should be coming out to talk with us soon.”

Brian swallowed hard, remembering hearing similar words at the beginning of his ordeal and wonders if he hadn’t had Justin as an inspiration would he have tried or withered away. What would Clair choose?

“Brian, are you alright?”

“I just wish there was someone like you in her life so that she didn’t have to have endure this type of pain, this love/hate thing… I love you so much, sunshine.”

“I know. I love you too…”

“I’ll never hit you, you know. I promise.”

“I know that too…”

Joan watches the two of them interact and support each other during this stressful time. Just seeing how caring Justin is towards Brian’s emotional and physical needs she is truly taken aback. She never dreamed that two men could love each other in a way she never even had with her husband. She’s not jealous but she now understands and has more respect for him being able to show his feelings, unlike his father who she wonders if he had any at all.

Dr. Anderson comes out and talks with them, explaining that Clair has a broken jaw and a broken right leg and left arm. That she also has some internal bleeding and a damaged spleen that they will have to remove. But with any luck she should survive all her injuries and in no time be as good as new. He says that the surgeries should take a couple of hours and then she’ll be in recovery.

In the mean time Brian gave his mother a brief overview of his accident, leaving out the part about chasing after Justin, and Justin and him being separated. He puts a positive spin on things and is hopeful that with the research study he might actually he able to walk again.

Justin smiles because it’s the first time Brian’s recently mentioned walking and just a couple hours ago when he was molesting him Brian had subconsciously wrapped his legs and feet around Justin. Unaided he’d moved himself in time with Justin, pushing and pulling back and forth as they fucked each other passionately.

~~~~

Brian works in the pool, walking his laps as best as he can; he concentrates hard as if he were walking down the aisle. So today when practicing he looks up and sees Michael standing at the end of the pool; he smiles as he gets closer. Michael says he came to help him practice as he was thinking that maybe he’d help Brian down the aisle should he actually need it. Because after all, he is his best man.

Brian agrees, but is stubborn and says he won’t need it so he shows Michael how he can walk in the pool really slowly with just Bruce behind him, in case he falls. Of course he has to hold onto the rails and his feet feel like he’s wearing cement shoes - he can hardly lift them and he feels wobbly. He complains that they burn and fall asleep. Bruce rolls his eyes behind him and makes faces

Both Bruce and Michael know Brian is doing so much better because he complains all the time; you’d think he was taking lessons for Mikey. He takes a break and sits at a table with Bruce’s help but Brian is able to adjust himself in his seat and get comfortable without any help. Bruce says that he’ll go down to the cafeteria and bring back lunch for them all.

Michael’s concerned about Brian and Justin but doesn’t know how to bring it up. Emmett called after he got home the other day and Christmas is now the day after tomorrow.

He can see that Brian’s a little sad so he finally asks. “What’s with Justin going to Hawaii?”

“I wanted to give him something special for Christmas and a fun vacation before we settled down. It’s perfect; he needs to relax and have fun with his best friend.”

“I thought when you were married your husband was your best friend?”

“Don’t go there, Mikey, we’re fine. He just needs a break. He’s going to school more than full-time and trying to finalise all the wedding and baby plans. I should have seen this coming; I should have taken on more of it myself.”

“You’re sure that’s all this is?”

“Yes.” Of course the real answer is no, not sure at all but he has to let him have his space.

“Okay then.”

“So, about the best man thing. We’re going much less formal than before. So you can help me walk halfway up the aisle, just like Daphne will for Justin and then we’re going to walk each other down to the altar. Just the two of us will be at the altar, seated during our vows, because obviously, I can’t stand that long or at least I don’t think I’ll be able to.”

“Okay, that’s fine.”

“I knew you’d understand.”

“So how’s Clair?”

“She’s getting out of the hospital tomorrow and I’ve had Jennifer rent a larger house for her, Mom and the boys. I don’t want John Sr. to know where they’re staying. I’ve had all their things packed and moved for them. They’ll be moving in a couple days after Christmas - in the meantime they’ll be staying at the house.”

“Wow, that’s really nice of you.”

“Well, we’re selling their houses so they’ll each have a nest egg to fall back on and I can afford to then find my family a house to buy; maybe one with a mother-in-law unit for Mom. I think it’s better this way. They have each other and believe it or not, they seem to both have calmed down and have gotten along much better over the last few years.”

“I guess they needed each other more once Jack and John were gone from their lives.”

“They are just human, Michael, stuck in a bad situation, feeling trapped and hopeless. Now maybe they’ll have hope once Clair heals and sees things from a brighter place.”

“I can’t believe you’re giving them a second chance, buying them a house.”

“Everyone deserves a second chance, Michael - even my family.”

~~~~

Emmett had arranged for Jackson Trees to deliver and set up Brian and Justin’s Christmas tree the afternoon of Christmas Eve. Justin, Gus, John and Peter had gone out earlier that morning and picked out a tree - a nine-foot blue spruce. Justin had fallen in love with it and the boys couldn’t get past how tall it was, but the room it was going into was huge as well.

Earlier in the day boxes upon boxes where delivered and Justin kept taking them to his bedroom and sorting through them so they only opened the decorations. Brian made sure they were keeping his special gifts away from Justin as well. Justin couldn’t help swooning when he saw a couple of boxes and of course, Brian teased that they weren’t for him.

Once the guys had the tree up and decorated with hundreds of blue and white lights, Justin signed for the delivery then they all started decorating the tree. Brian sat back and watched the scene before him. Mel and Lindsay were joining them for Christmas Eve dinner and spending the night so they all could enjoy the children waking up on Christmas morning.

John and Peter had been on their best behavior since they arrived. Justin had expected them to revert into the little monsters that they are. He asked John to help him set the dinner table and asked him how he’s doing. The truth is he’s frightened, having seen his mother beaten. Now he doesn’t live near his friends anymore and his Uncle Brian scares him more than a little.

And it’s not just his past with Brian which he now knows was really a horrible thing to do. Now he understands because he’s older, almost fourteen and he misses his more-than-best-friend, Matthew who he’s only made out with. But he knows it’s true, he’s gay.

Justin hands John the plates and silverware and tells him the napkins are in the hutch cabinet. Justin decided to make a southern meal for Christmas Eve of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, and cornbread. Just what every growing boy needs and Brian didn’t even complain except something about needing sweatpants afterwards.

“Justin, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, anything at all.”

“How old were you when you kissed a boy?”

“That’s a rather personal question. Is there someone you’re thinking about kissing?”

John looks down at the dining room floor and barely whispers. “My boyfriend, Matthew but now I’ll never see him again.”

It nearly breaks Justin’s heart to see John in so much pain, concerned for everyone he loves while trying to be strong for his little brother. Peter was still young, only eight and still naive to the world while John has experienced how painful it can be, up close and personal.

Justin takes John’s hand and puts the dishes down, leads him to the library and says to give him a call to let him know he’s alright. Tomorrow or the next day, whatever works best, he’ll drive John to see Matthew or pick him up and he can stay overnight.

“Really, Unc… I don’t know what to call you…”

“Justin is fine.”

John looks overwhelmed and Justin gives him a hug and says. “We’re all family now.” Then he leaves him to make his call and get comfortable with all the changes in his life.

The girls are there when he makes his way back out to the living room. Peter and Gus are like long-lost brothers - you’d think they grew up together. But, considering they’re closer in age than John and Peter, it makes sense.

Gus is begging that Peter be allowed to sleep in his room tonight. Brian bowed to Mel and Lindsay’s decision; he didn’t want two cranky kids on Christmas day because they stayed up all night.

~~~~

Joan was sitting with Clair when Brian came in to see if they needed anything. He’d really like them to join the others but he understands Clair’s resistance to seeing people in her condition. Like sister like brother… And Joan just feels so out of place without Brian; she hardly knows Mel, Lindsay or Justin.

Justin comes in and asks Joan if she would like a ginger ale and maybe she would like to help decorate the tree and meet her grandson, Gus. Justin knew that was something no grandparent could resist. She politely accepted and left the room with Justin, passing Peter who was waiting just outside the door, a little frightened to go in and see his Mom.

Brian calls to Peter to come on in and join him. He’s shy but not afraid of Brian like John is and he’s seen Gus crawl up onto Brian’s lap a dozen times that afternoon. So just like Gus, he comes forward, crawls on up and sits, cuddling Brian, looking at the mummy-like figure on the bed that’s his mother.

Actually she just has a bandaged head and a cast on her arm and leg. But to an eight year old his world has been shattered and Brian’s just grateful John Sr. never hit his boys, unfortunately just Clair. Brian sat with her and talked for an hour or so until she was too tired and started to fall asleep.

~~~~

It said twelve thirty seven on the clock as Brian and Justin slipped into bed.

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Kinney.” Justin said with a snicker as he placed a gold and silver wrapped box in his fiancé’s lap. He leans in and says. “What are you going to do with it?”

Brian wonders what might actually be in the heavy box. He unwraps it slowly, to reveal a beautiful wooden box, lined with purple velvet that holds three ultra-smooth glass dildos in various sizes and shapes.

Brian just grins and says. “How thoughtful. It’s everything I’ve always wanted.”

Justin smirks and says; “I sure hope you share your toys. Oh and they’re one hundred percent dishwasher safe.”

“Perfect! Baby bottles and dildos…”

“That sounds like the name of a band, ha ha ha…”

“Maybe we need to give one of those a test drive, just to make sure there’s no defects.” Brian says.

Justin leans in and kisses Brian and then he says. “Well, I have this other present too…”

Justin reaches into the drawer and takes out a very lightweight package that feels like air. But once Brian opens it, he sees four soft suede straps that are just begging to tie him up. His eyes glaze over and he whispers. “Oh, sunshine, you’re going to kill me.”

Justin kisses Brian again as he pulls his wrists together and ties them over his head; he continues licking and sucking his way down Brian’s body, eliciting cries of pleasure. Justin smacks Brian with the other three ties, and shushes him. They have more than a few guests tonight. Ever since Brian started bottoming he’s gotten used to being more vocal during sex. Now his sense of feeling has returned, he struggles to remain quiet.

Brian cries. “Oh God, Justin, what you do to me…!”

He wants to reach down and run his hands through Justin’s hair but he’s trapped and writhing with need. Justin nibbles and snuggles his face into Brian’s soft bush, grazing his teeth along the skin, lightly touching him as he reaches the base of Brian’s perfect cock.

He takes him in his hands and holds his treasure, admiring its beauty as it oozes. Justin’s tongue laps at the welcoming juices then runs down the plump pulsating vein. More pre-cum escapes his slit as Justin takes Brian’s balls into his mouth. He gently sucks and rotates them as he caresses his thumbs across his slit and around his ridge, squeezing gently.

“Aaaah, Justin!”

Justin slides Brian’s ankles onto his shoulders. As Brian cries out he feels the lube covered glass dildo slide into place and fill him completely. Justin has now taken the head of Brian’s cock into his mouth, deep-throating him. At the same time he works Brian open with his new toy pushing and pulling, stretching Brian’s canal as Brian takes pleasure in the pummeling Justin is giving him.

Brian’s head flays back and forth on the pillow as he pushes against Justin’s hand that controls the rhythm of the dildo. Brian would very much like Justin to increase the speed and tempo as he works him; his body is shivering with anticipation as he begs for Justin to fuck him; he wants to cum with his cock up his ass.

“Justin, Justin, Justin, just fuck me…”

Justin has his mouth full at the moment so his mumbles “I am, cum for me.”

And with that Brian shoots his load straight down Justin’s throat, as Justin repeatedly slams his prostate with his new toy. Brian’s body is still quaking with pleasure as Justin unties his restraints then removes the dildo. He takes it into the bathroom and returns with a warm washcloth to help soothe Brian’s tummy, afraid his stomach might cramp from such an intense workout.

He holds Brian and whispers to just relax and go to sleep, this was just his first gift for Brian this Christmas. Justin rests his head on Brian’s chest and rubs small circles on Brian’s stomach and sleep soon follows for both of them.

They wake to a very excited Gus, bouncing on the end of their bed as he tells them Santa came last night. Brian looks at the clock and sees that it’s only six thirty. He tells him that he and Peter can have their stockings in his room until everyone else wakes up. Then he reminds him that he’s not the only little boy here; that he’s sure Santa remembered all three of them so he would have to make sure he opens only his presents, and when playing, to share his toys.

~~~~

Brian and Justin were both awake now, so Justin took advantage of it and started placing butterfly kisses across Brian’s shoulders and around his neck. Brian leans his head sideways, giving Justin full access as he sucks and marks his neck.

Justin climbs up onto Brian’s lap dragging his hardening dick across Brian’s stomach then he just lets it bounce. He runs his hands up and down his shaft, giving his fiancé a show by squeezing the tip, making it a pretty pink color.

Then he leans down and brings their lips together for a kiss while grinding himself into Brian who’s now just as hard as him. He whispers; “I want your cock up my ass, old man.”

They kiss a few more times until Justin breaks the embrace and slowly turns around and lifts his plump ass in the air for Brian to view. He reaches back with a lubed finger and slowly starts to work his wet juicy hole. He soon enters a second finger, scissoring himself open.

He bends over and looks at Brian between his legs as he reaches for Brian’s cock, lining it up, slowly lowering himself down. He moans as he takes all of Brian’s prick in one long slow motion then stops to adjust.

It’s been a while since he’s bottomed but he wants Brian to start using those muscles even if he isn’t aware of how much of the work he’s doing. Brian puts his hands on Justin’s hips and pulls him forward just slightly. Then Justin starts rocking the two of them as their bodies slip and slide.

Brian penetrates Justin over and over. Justin loves to ride his ridge, working him so he is almost completely withdrawn then he takes all of him back deep inside again, and again, and again…

Justin’s bronco riding is bringing both of them closer to their orgasms. Justin rides with his head thrown back and tries to mouth a loud scream but nothing comes out. Brian is chuckling and laughing at him as his climax lassos him and he’s hogtied and out of breath, lying with his back on Brian chest and stomach, both riding out the last leg of their climax.

“Daddy, I heard the bed squeaking, Did Justin jump and bounce on the bed because Santa came?”

“I’m afraid so, sonny boy.”

“It’s okay, Justy. Santa gets me really excited too!”

~~~~

The family was asked to come between ten and eleven o’clock so they would have time to finish up most of the kid’s presents and breakfast before the gang arrived. But as Justin put the coffee on at seven forty-five he looked out the window and saw Debbie, Michael, Ben, Rodney and Vic heading towards the house with what seemed like hundreds of bags.

In Michael’s eyes, if the girls were here, he should be too. Deb totally agrees and besides, she wants to make French toast, bacon and sausages for breakfast for everyone. He lets Deb and the others in and shows her the way to the kitchen; she’s totally in awe of the house and feels like a princess.

He asks her to keep an eye on the younger boys while he and Brian take a shower, saying that the girls should be down soon. Deb can’t get over the place; it’s like she died and went to Heaven. Michael and Ben put the Christmas presents under the tree while Vic and Rodney help Deb set up in the kitchen.

Justin makes his way upstairs, frustrated and relieved at the same time. Frustrated that he feels like his space is being invaded earlier than he planned and it’s too damn early but also relieved because now Deb will be here to help with the breakfast and set up for the caterers for dinner.

He hands Brian a tall glass of guava juice that they share as they start to take a shower. The girls make their way downstairs, wondering what happened to Gus this morning as it’s one of the few mornings that he didn’t wake them up. They find him and Peter happily playing with their Matchbox cars from their stockings.

John is still in his room on the phone with Matthew, making plans and talking about coming out to their parents. Joan’s been up most of the night, tending to Clair’s needs and reading her Bible. Clair’s in better sprits today as the younger boys come in and sing her Christmas carols while everyone waits for breakfast. Clair, of course, is on liquid protein shakes and Brian jokes to break the tension that this is an extreme diet plan.

After breakfast the gang sits down to open presents by the fireplace…

TBC…


	11. ~ Owners of a Lonely Heart…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Justin miss each other while Justin vacations in Hawaii…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Four ~ For Richer or Poorer, in Snarkiness and in Health…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3642  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52  
Queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Brian and Justin miss each other while Justin vacations in Hawaii…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…  
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Four ~ For Richer or Poorer, in Snarkiness and in Health…

Chapter Eleven ~ Owners of a Lonely Heart…

Pity, self-pity - it made him sick, but here he was, January second and he was depressed and wallowing in self-pity, practically considering calling off the wedding. How could he ask Justin to give everything up? He’s so young and it’s obvious to Brian now that he’s never going to walk again. He feels like drinking but it’s only noon. Bruce comes into Brian’s office, asking if he’s ready to go.

“Not today.” Brian simply says.

Bruce crinkles up his nose. “Not today?”

“Not today, dear. I have a headache.”

“I see it’s going to be one of those days; well, I won’t be part of it. Get your Goddamn ass up and let’s go. Now!”

Brian just glares at him, unmoving; it’s a battle of wills. Finally Bruce turns to leave.

“Totally pathetic…”

That was enough for Brian to follow, rolling at a very fast pace, chasing after Bruce until they got to the door.

Then Bruce says. “I knew you’d follow.”

They worked a bit longer than normal to help Brian release some of his pent-up frustration and loneliness. His anger helps push him hard and even though he can’t see the improvement everyone else can. He’s sitting in the whirlpool, letting his muscles relax after a long work out, when he receives a call from Justin.

Just hearing his voice is enough to make Brian feel better and bring him out of his funk. He can’t help thinking he must have been insane to send him away – it’s so hard to function without him, it scares Brian. Justin does so many little things to help him with his disability that he’s come to expect them. Now he sees just how hard it really is to be alone.

He’s torn between wanting and needing him and not wanting him to be tied down to a cripple. Yes, he said that ugly word that’s so not politically correct… Now he’s wallowing in self-pity again… He can’t help thinking he must need medication.

Justin is telling him how when they got off the plane it was just like the movies - they put flower leis around their necks and they smelt wonderful, like jasmine. They had a great flight, that first class was outrageous and that he ate way too much rich food and drank too much champagne.

He mentions that Daphne said that there’s a luau tonight, she wants to go deep-sea fishing and learn to hula dance and there’s a Hawaiian disco on the main island. Justin laughs and says, “She’s going to have our whole vacation planned out and I just need to relax and paint a little.”

“I’m going to send her out on her own for awhile so I can just de-compress.”

“No, Justin. I don’t want either of you going off on your own.”

“Brian…”

“No, I’m serious. I don’t want anything to happen and you know all those news reports of girls disappearing while on vacation…”

“Brian, please.”

“No, I swear I’ll cancel all your credit cards.”

“You’re mean and evil!”

“I love you too…”

“I miss you already, Brian…”

“I miss you too, Sunshine.”

“I’ll call you tonight after the luau.”

“Later.”

~~~~

Brian wasn’t the only one that missed Justin. Gus was pretty used to having time with him every afternoon and the gap now needed to be filled by Brian. Gus of course, wants to paint and Brian feels like a fish out of water in Justin’s studio, not to mention he feels like he’s invading his space.

Gus doesn’t seem to notice any personal space barriers being crossed as he starts taking out supplies and telling his Daddy to strip. He explains that Justin will be really mad if he gets paint on his really good clothes and besides afterwards they can take a bubble bath together.

“Together? That would be very difficult, Gus”

“Well, I could never convince Justy either…”

“That’s good, I think…”

“Dad, can I just take a bath? I want see all the bubbles turn different colors. Ha, what do you say?”

“What do you mean…just a bath?”

“You know, no shower, and I could just paint my body. It would be so much fun. Please, Daddy…?”

“Well, alright, but just watercolors and you paint in the tub as well so we don’t make a mess in the studio.”

Cynthia finds them in the bath, with Gus lying naked in the bottom of the claw foot tub, covered from head to toe in a rainbow of colors. She clicks a few photos before Brian and Gus notice because they’re singing Sesame Street songs, laughing at Brian’s silly faces and voices as he tells Gus a story.

He turns and notices Cynthia just as she takes another photo of Brian with red and purple paint on his face and in his hair, and on his really good clothes. Cynthia reaches over, turning on the water so it’s just nice and warm then adds Mr. Bubbles. They sit back and watch as all the colors run off Gus. He’s covered in a rainbow of foam and suds - a few more clicks for the photo book.

Brian can’t help thinking it’s a children’s version of Studs and Suds. Cynthia tells them that dinner will be ready soon and helps get Gus dressed. Brian leaves and does the same, with a little help from Bruce who leaves him to clean up in private. He’s rinsing himself off in his own shower to get the paint out of his hair, thinking about Justin painting in the nude.

He visualizes Justin at Studs and Suds the first time; his ass swaying, his black briefs a contrast against his porcelain skin amongst all those bubbles. Yes, that’s it! One, two more pulls and Brian’s right there as his orgasm floods his groin and he cries out for his missing partner. He misses Justin desperately; he had no idea he’d have it this bad as he shoots across his chest and the water cascades over him, washing away his spunk.

Ben and Michael join Brian for dinner and it’s obvious that Brian is missing Justin more than he’s willing to admit but Michael can see right through him. He thinks the more Brian tries to hide it, the more blatant it is. “God, Brian, how are you going to make it for two weeks if you can’t make it for two days?”

“I may have made a mistake; I sure hope he doesn’t find what he’s looking for.”

“How can he, when it’s still here at home?”

“I’m so confused, Michael. I want what’s best for him, but I want what’s best for me too. I pushed it; I pushed him away, again… Why do I do that?”

“Why did he go?”

~~~~

“So Doc, why did he go? Why did I push him to go?”

“Why do you think, Brian?”

“Because part of me still feels unlovable, that he deserves better than me. I’m a fake, this house, my possessions; it’s all a joke. I’m still a poor mick from a dirty steel town. He’s, he’s beautiful inside and out; he always sees the best in people and he was raised with grace and manners. It all comes so naturally for him.”

“I ruined him; he had a chance at a beautiful life, being young, going away to school, experiencing all that his youth had to offer. It’s true what Bedwetter said. I stole his youth and he will regret it someday. I thought I was making him the best homosexual he could be, but I was just making him my whore.”

“Is that how you think he sees it?”

“He’s young, he can’t see anything.”

“No, Brian, I think he’s acting his age. You just don’t want to let him grow up, make his own decisions or have a difference of opinion.”

“I know what’s best for him.”

“Why can’t that be what’s best for both of you?”

~~~~

“Brian, I’ve left a couple of messages for you. God, everything is so much fun, I can’t believe it. I loved the luau and they have one almost every night on the different islands and the scuba diving has been fantastic.”

“I’m glad you’re having such a great time.”

“Brian, I have had some time to think about everything and well, there are some things that have to change.”

“Uh huh, I see…”

“Listen, I’d really rather not do this over the phone, but I need you to know I can’t go on the way things have been.”

Brian can’t breathe; he feels sick to his stomach. What was he doing? How could he have let Michael talk him into this?

“Justin, I’d rather we did this in person too. I’m not anywhere that I have any privacy right now. Can I call you later when I’m alone?”

“Brian, you better call me and don’t ignore me like you have been the last few days. I need you to hear what I have to say. Are you listening to me? I’m serious. Things have to change.”

“Yes, Sunshine.”

Brian’s stomach dropped as well as his mood. He had been so happy, so excited that he decided to risk all, go with Ben and Michael and fly to Hawaii to surprise Justin and Daphne. Now Brian just felt like the bottom was falling out of his world; Ben and Michael were still gathering the luggage as Brian closed his cell phone.

Justin had mentioned that Daphne had met someone and she’d been spending almost all her time with him and Brian couldn’t help wondering if Justin had done the same. He felt so foolish going there now to surprise him. He’s only doing just what he’d told him to do.

~~~~

Brian’s POV

I sit in my room, getting ready to call him when I look out at the beach and see him sitting with a couple of other guys, playing cards and laughing; one of them is sitting a little close and keeps touching his arm or thigh. I feel sick to my stomach again. I can’t help having visions of him fucking that guy and I won’t make it easy for him to tell me we can’t be raw anymore. I close the curtains and wheel to the restroom and throw up.

I fell asleep and wake to my cell phone ringing. It’s Justin and he’s pissed. He says he’s been waiting for me to call him back and he wants to joins his friends for dinner. I tell him I’m sorry that I fell asleep. He apologizes and says he’ll call me later, to go back to sleep.

I wheel over to the patio and open the curtains. They blow in the wind as I look out; it’s dark and my chair reflects off the outside lights and the moon. Justin’s walking with his friends when he sees the glare in the moonlight on my chair in the lightless room. He turns and stares, knowing the outline of the chair and the profile that is seated within.

Justin excuses himself from his friends for the evening as he approaches the seated figure in the dark.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

“I was going to tell you.”

“Are you here spying on me?”

Oh God! This is so not how he hoped this might have gone…

Justin thinks -Why the fuck did I say that? He looks so unsure of himself, so not like Brian.

Brian takes a deep breath and says, “I guess we both know what you’ve decided… I feel like such a fool coming here now, thinking how romantic it would be to share this. But don’t worry, I’ll take the next flight back. I want you to enjoy your vacation.”

“How can I enjoy it if you’re not here? What I wanted to say and I think maybe you get it now, is that I can’t keep living the way we have been. Rapunzel, Rapunzel, come out of your castle. I need you to join the real world instead of you hiding at home.”

“I need you to go the park with us, and out to dinner, to visit our friends and go to the movies. There’s nothing you can’t really do that you didn’t used to. I expect that you think you can’t, but you can and I need you to. I can’t live a life, hiding at home all the time and I want to be seen out together. I’m proud to be marrying you, Mr. Kinney.”

“So this is about me not taking you to dinner?”

“No, this is about you withdrawing from life and not making an effort to be part of the family, only going to the hospital for your appointments and therapy; never going any place fun.”

Justin leans down and places kisses along his brow and whispers how much he’s missed him and that he’s worried about him. How incredible it is that he’s here and that he’s starving and wants to go to dinner. They both burst out laughing.

“You’re always hungry.”

“Shut up.”

They call Ben and Michael then pick a restaurant that specializes in Hawaiian food. They wanted to try the native cuisine. They drink tropical drinks in coconut shells with tiny umbrellas in them, getting drunk on the rum. They order several grilled fish and pork dishes for the whole table to share. All the fruits and vegetable are exotic and taste fantastic, their wonderful flavors exploding on their palates.

Afterwards Ben and Michael excused themselves to give Brian and Justin some time alone, knowing how much they’ve missed each other over the last week. They make their way back to their hotel room; Brian had reserved a very luxurious disabled suite that caters to the special needs of their visitors - similar to what he has at home.

He’s very pleased with the hotel room; he was skeptical when he booked the room, sure he would feel uncomfortable and out of place. Justin says he wants to go get all his things from his room and let Daphne know where he’s now staying. Brian decides he will wait out on the patio for Justin. There’s a trellis with jasmine blooming and he remembers how much Justin loves the smell.

He could almost reach it but not quite. Without thinking, he stands to reach it and breaks off a branch. His chair rolls backwards out of reach when he stands, now he’s left standing, grasping the trellis for dear life. Wondering how much fucking longer Justin will be, he’s sure he’ll fall and break his legs. He knows he can’t stay like this, each moment he becomes less sure of himself.

He reaches his arms out in front of himself like the Frankenstein monster, as he takes baby steps, holding the jasmine branch out like a peace offering. It’s just then that Justin enters the suite and, seeing Brian, his initial reaction is to run to him, to help him, but he doesn’t - he holds back. He decides to let Brian try on his own because making it back to his chair on his own is a really big step.

Brian stares at his feet as he slowly tries to lift his feet that feel like concrete. He feels pins and needles as he cries out in pain. Justin’s right there to support his weight and lead him to his chair. Once Brian’s seated Justin smiles and kisses him, telling him how proud he is of him. Brian just grins and hands the jasmine branch to Justin who smells it and smiles his big sunshine smile.

“It got away from me; God, I was so fucking scared!”

“I’m glad I was right here.”

“Me too, Sunshine.”

“I missed you so much…”

He asks him if he wants to sit on the chaise lounge. Justin has plans for him and Brian as he helps guide Brian into the chaise. Once Brian’s situated and comfortable Justin stands before him and slips his shirt over his head, running his hands back down his shoulders and arms until his hands reach his waistband.

Brian’s eyes glass over as he watches with anticipation as Justin prances around him, slowly stripping. Brian pours each of them a glass of wine as he becomes totally captivated by his partner’s antics that are creating chaos in his pants, beckoning for release.

Justin chuckles as he sees the state of turmoil his partner is in. He slowly unzips his pants, wiggles his perfect ass and tries to slide his pants down. Then Justin turns his back towards Brian and puts his hands on his hips, pulling his jeans down, revealing the fact that he’s commando.

That was it! Brian actually had been stroking himself through his jeans, but when he saw Justin’s smooth, white ass in the moonlight he came right in his pants. Justin hears him grunt and moan, and then say “Oh fuck, Justin…” Justin looks over his shoulder, unsure of what happened.

Brian simply folds his hands over his crotch and grins as Justin climbs on him until he gets to the wet spot. He snickers and says, “I missed you too… Now let’s get you out of these wet clothes and into me…”

He reaches down and undoes Brian’s damp pants then stands and pulls them down by the hem. Brian reaches down and slips his shirt over his shoulders. Justin smiles as he sees Brian’s stiff prick protruding from his black briefs as he bends down and licks around the beautiful crown. He slides his hands into Brian’s underwear and tugs them down and off, giving him total access to his favorite play thing.

Brian arches his back and cries out loudly before he remembers that they’re on their patio and about to fuck in plain view of all who pass, should they walk close enough. Justin shushes him then climbs back up his body and covers his mouth with his own. They share one of the most passionate kisses that they have had since all this insecure dream bullshit happened. Now hopefully that’s all behind them.

Brian’s lying in the chaise with Justin in between his legs; he adjusts himself by bending his legs and pushing back to help move up more. Justin’s amazed that he can use those muscles and his feet. Brian’s oblivious to what he just did; he may not be able to stand and walk without his handrails and the water to cushion his fall but he’s so far along Justin’s almost giddy.

Justin just grins like a fool and Brian asks, “What?”

Justin shakes his heads all smiles with a silly grin, saying, “Nothing, nothing at all.”

Brian reaches out, puts his hand behind Justin’s neck and pulls him into a kiss. Then another long and passionate kiss that starts the two of them making out slowly, working themselves up until their passion and need has consumed them. They rut against one another, moaning and sighing, not wanting to break their kiss but if they don’t their both going to cum again like teenagers.

Justin sits up and rubs their slippery cocks together, totally getting off on the way it feels as their balls nudge each other, making him even more turned on. He takes both their cocks in his hands and works them good and hard, pulling and twisting, ever so firmly - just the way they both love it.

Justin reaches for the lube because, no matter how excited he is to see Brian it has been a week without any tail and Brian has a full nine and a half inches, just waiting to be devoured. He coats Brian’s stiff prick and chuckles as Brian reacts to the cool gel whispering, “It’ll heat up.”

He leans back against Brian’s still-bent legs and raises himself up as he takes Brian’s dick in his hands, guiding it towards his waiting pucker. He teases himself, riding just the tip for a minute or so before he glides himself down onto Brian, impaling himself. Justin’s back is against Brian’s legs, with his head thrown back, sighing and adjusting. Soon writhing with need and desire, he starts pumping himself up and down on Brian’s shaft.

Even though he tries to keep his moaning down he can’t help the sounds escaping him as he rides his fiancé. Justin holds onto Brian’s legs as his cock dangles and bounces to the rhythm of the fuck. Brian watches as his partner gleefully seduces him like they’re young boys again and he loves every minute of it.

Justin looks so young with his blond hair shining in the moonlight, so enthusiastic as he fucks himself with abandon like he’s going to miss curfew. Justin’s thigh muscles have definitely gotten stronger as he works himself closer and closer to climax. Brian reaches out and takes a hold of Justin’s dick and starts pulling, bringing him close to orgasm.

They’re both right on the edge as Justin uses his tight slick channel to squeeze his lover’s seed from him as he shoots across Brian’s chest, loving the way it feels when Brian’s warm semen fills him.

“That was great!” Justin tells him. “God, I’ve missed you so much. You know I’m never taking another vacation without you.”

“Yeah, I agree, that was a stupid idea.”

What he loves the most about Brian is that they’re both working on being emotionally open. He didn’t need this vacation to decide if he wanted to marry Brian. He needed it to decide how to get Brian back on track, moving their life in the right direction. Because if their marriage is going to work then they both need to have a say and understand where their future is going to take them.

TBC…


	12. ~ Blue Hawaii…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have a fun week on vacation that ends with a big surprise…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3459  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52  
Queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: The boys have a fun week on vacation that ends with a big surprise…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis...  
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Four ~ For Richer or Poorer, in Snarkiness and in Health…

Chapter Twelve ~ Blue Hawaii…

The water is so blue and the sand is so white. I love our suite - it has all the luxuries you could ask for. They even have a private pool downstairs that Ben has arranged for him and Brian to use to continue his therapy every day so his doesn’t lose any of his strength that he’s gained recently. So while Brian is in therapy today, Michael, Daphne, her new boyfriend, Jamaal and I are going to the beach to rent jet skis and go snorkeling.

We’re meeting up with Brian and Ben for lunch and then we’re going to visit a few museums to learn more about the native culture. I want to get my Mom, Cynthia, Deb and the girls some jewelry and Emmett some of those macadamia nut candies and maybe a new Speedo. Now Ted’s harder to buy for… Brian suggests a Hawaiian opera and believe it or not, they actually have some. Vic is the easiest, it is so obviously a new Hawaiian shirt; one for Rodney too…

By the time we get back to our rooms and rest up a bit it’s time to go out to dinner again. Tonight were going to a Thai place because Brian always has to try it in every city he travels to. He researches the cities and goes to the very best restaurants, making reservations in advance when possible. He even booked a few places for Daphne and me to try - we just had to increase the number of guests.

I’m so glad Brian seems relaxed here with Ben and Michael and I can’t believe that Michael was the one who was behind convincing him to come. He needed this vacation just as much as I did. Our life is very stressful right now because he just started his own business. I can’t believe Brian canceled his meetings and appointments this next week just so we could be together and unwind.

Now that Daphne has hooked up with Jamaal and Ben has Michael it’s given Brian and I some much needed privacy for a few days. It’s so nice to just hang out on our patio near the beach and enjoy each other. Brian’s writing and I’m painting; we’re two free spirits relaxing in paradise. I’m painting Brian, all golden and tan, lying on a chaise with the ocean in the background; his muscles taut across his chest and biceps.

I sometimes wonder if Brian ever notices that I never paint his wheelchair, never. I guess I just don’t see it when I look at him, he’s so much more than that to me and it never meant anything to me anyways. I always loved him.

We went deep-sea fishing and Ben caught a big tuna that the ship’s captain offered to cook for us on the beach when we docked. Then a couple of days later we all went to a luau where they roasted a pig; it was the best food we have had for the whole trip so far. Even Brian couldn’t get enough pork, pork… ‘Mr. Turkey on whole wheat’ eating pork…

After dinner we all had a few drinks and a couple of the local girls offered to teach us the hula; it took a few minutes to convince Michael to join us but in the end it was me, Michael and Daphne who ended up dancing for our men for over half an hour, losing all our clothes except our grass skirts by the end…

We were all laughing so hard I needed to lie down; I was a bit drunk. I climbed up into Brian’s chair with him and let him drive me back to our room. Ben was nice enough to pick up everyone’s clothes as we made our way back. Of course the three of us can’t stop singing Elvis’ Blue Hawaii, still swinging our hips and giggling. Note to self - rum drinks make me silly…

Daphne forgot to buy condoms so she asks Justin for some, they had run out. But when she bends down to whisper the question in his ear he bursts out laughing, thinking it was the funniest question ever. He finally says. “What in the world would we needs condoms for?”

It’s then that he realizes that not even Daphne, or for that matter, anyone knew they were raw. Daphne just says, “Oh” and Michael just looks like someone ran over his teddy bear. Justin wanted to lighten the mood so he says, “Sorry, my bad…” But that didn’t work and now Michael’s mad. Daphne and Jamaal excuse themselves and Brian invites Ben and Michael into their suite.

Ben knew that this day would come for Michael; he just didn’t think it would have anything to do with Brian and Justin.

Michael’s pissed and he just keeps saying, “How could you? Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best friend! You know that’s something I can’t do.”

Brian just looks at him and says, “It’s personal, Michael and it’s none of your business. But I am sorry that you got hurt but what Justin and I do romantically doesn’t concern you. Besides we’re getting married in a month or so…”

“I just didn’t know. I just didn’t think you ever would. You always said to never... But I guess if you’re really getting married…”

Now it’s finally real for Michael that Brian and Justin really are going to be married and that chapter of his life is closed. He has Ben and he loves him, he does, he thinks. He doesn’t really know yet but he thinks he could love him.

Brian offers everyone a drink except Justin and rolls a joint. They sit and laugh about how much fun they’ve been having all week and how they hate to see it all coming to an end in two days. Justin’s been scuba diving almost every morning. He took Jamaal’s video camera down with him this last time and got some great shots of the tropical fish and Daphne got a few minutes of him, swimming with the dolphins.

Justin shows Ben and Michael a couple of paintings he’s completed this last week. Justin was totally jazzed and couldn’t stop talking about them and how much he’s been inspired by the beautiful sky, the sunsets and the deep blue-green sea. You just know that the next phase in his career will reflect this interpretation of Nature. He says jokingly, “A study in blues and greens by the great Justin Taylor-Kinney.”

“Oh my God, you really are getting a big head…” says Michael.

Justin just smiles and Brian says, “He’s a genius…”

Justin takes out his sketch pad and pencils and starts drawing Ben and Michael, deciding that he wants to give them a little something to remember this vacation by. They talked for the next hour so by the time they leave, all the stress and bad feelings have disappeared and Justin has the basics for a new painting sketched out for later.

Once Ben and Michael had left Justin put his art supplies away and came to his fiancé, sitting on his lap, placing feather kisses across his temple while Brian nibbled at his neck, eliciting moans from his partner.

“I love you so much, Brian. I need you so much. I can’t imagine my life without you; you give me everything I could ever ask for. I hope I give you whatever it is that you need, sometimes I’m not sure what that is?”

“Just being here with me, just being yourself and loving me is all I need. You give me everything, especially the will to keep trying and that’s the greatest gift there is.”

“The greatest? I can think of some pretty great gifts I haven’t given you since this morning…” He says as he looks at his partner with sparkling deep-blue eyes.

Justin helps Brian to bed and lays him down so he’s on his stomach with several pillows down under his groin, lifting him up just perfectly. Justin kisses his cheek and works his way around to Brian’s spine and starts by running his wet tongue down it, accentuating each vertebra as he goes, leaving a cool wet trail.

Justin’s POV

I could feel Brian buck a little with anticipation when I was starting to get close to his crack. I pulled his cheeks apart and just admired his pucker as it winked at me. I let the tip of my tongue swish around and dip inside ever so slightly, teasing him. He lifts his ass to take more of me in, showing me his need to be filled.

I lick and fuck his hole with my tongue, diving in a full two inches and swimming around, tickling his wet cavern and trying to reach his prostate without luck… He moans with enthusiasm as he waits for me to complete him.

“Justin…”

But Justin just keeps licking and diving, swirling his tongue around and around, stopping every once in a while to suck gently…

“Aaah Jus, Justin… Aaah, Justin, please, I need… I need….”

“What do you need? Tell me, I want to hear you say it…”

“I need you… I need you to fuck me… Oh God, I need your damn cock…”

Justin smiles and runs kisses down Brian’s back as he lifts his ass up. He pulls Brian onto his knees, asking if he thinks he can balance himself, telling him to let him know if there’s a problem. Then he rubs the tip of his dick down his crack, leaving a trail of pre-cum then nudging his pink pucker with his head. He lets his crown slip in and out a half dozen times, increasing their desire.

Finally he takes his hands and places them on Brian’s hips and fully penetrates his fiancé, bracing for his cries of pleasure and pain all at once. Brian loves it, loves that it still burns just a little each time like a sign of love from deep within; he always wants to feel it, feel claimed.

Justin lies across Brian’s back without putting any of his weight on him, kissing his cheek as Brian turns his head to let Justin take his lips. The kiss is deep and passionate, lasting a minute or so and then Justin whispers, “Ready?” With that he starts working his partner slowly at first and then with a little more aggression. He switches angles every second or third stroke, provoking moans and bucking from his sex slave.

Brian’s strong wet duct squeezes and jerks Justin’s prick as he thrusts and plunges to and fro. Both are climbing the ladder of ecstasy, writhing with pleasure as their senses are bombarded with sexual bliss. Justin reaches around and takes Brian’s penis in his hand and pulls a couple of times, squeezing his head and running his thumb across it ever so gently.

Brian cries out and shoots into the top pillow as Justin fills his ass with sweet blond boy sperm. Justin rests his head in the middle of Brian’s back, tasting the salty sweat that remains from their workout. Justin slowly sits up with an idea that just occurred to him… they’re in Hawaii.

Brian’s POV

He withdraws from me and goes into the bathroom, bringing back a warm wash cloth to clean up. Then he kneels in front of me as he holds out a long jewelry box containing a very masculine chain made of thick platinum links and says, “I was going to wait until our wedding night to give you this, but you see, now I’d like tomorrow night to be our wedding night.”

“Brian, will you legally marry me in Hawaii? We can still do it again at home in Pittsburgh, but this way it will at least be legal here.” Brian just grins and says yes, he’d like that. They’re both really happy - somehow this seems to take the edge off all the planning for the big wedding and help them both calm down.

Justin is making lists and planning what he wants for their simple Hawaiian wedding. He wants everything tropical, fruit salad, Poke, Kalua roasted pork ribs, veggies steamed in palm fronds and some exotic coconut Hawaiian dessert called ‘Haupia’ - a sauce that he wants over pound cake. Brian tries to tell him ‘pound cake’ means a pound of butter…

He laughs and says he wants to get married in the moonlight - that it’s a no-carb day and our last full day here. We have to fly out the next afternoon and return to snow and sleet, back to good old Pittsburgh. Although I do miss Gus and I think of him often, wondering if he’s driving Cynthia and his mom crazy.

~~~~

The next morning Justin calls Daphne and tells her to meet him in the common room. It’s early for vacation time, ten am and she’s a little pissed as they drink cappuccinos and she slowly awakes to the words ‘I’m getting married today, legally, here, today…On the beach or on our patio in the moonlight, tonight’.

I want to contact the guy who ran the pig roast and see if he can help us do a very small wedding. The hotel said it was his day off and he freelances.

~~~~

“Mikey, I know it’s early but you did agree to be my best man. Right, well, come on down and have breakfast in my room and I’ll fill you in.” Ben and Michael showed up in less than five minutes, Mikey assuming the worst. Michael looks around the room and asks what happened and if he’d left.

“What, no, he’s out with his best man… We’ve decided to do it legally while were here. So I could use your help. I need you to find the jeweler who sold Justin this chain and buy another one for him, maybe a little shorter.”

“I’ve called Armand, my tailor and had him fax over all our measurements to the tailor at the designer men’s shop. He has several Prada and Armani linen suits that Justin and I can be fitted for and have ready by this evening. I didn’t really bring a suit to get married in when I left and I’m sure Justin didn’t pack anything at all so I want to surprise him.”

“So I guess we should rent suits too?”

“Well, it’s really just the six of us. You two could just wear suit jackets and slacks. You don’t have to compete with the bride.”

“And which one of you would that be? I heard Emmett saying that you’re a total queen.”

“Whatever do you mean? I just know what I want. Just like now…”

“Exactly…”

“Now I thank you for helping me out with all these plans, but now I need to get my beauty sleep because you have no idea how much energy it takes to keep up with my beast master.” With that, Ben and Michael were on their way to complete the errands on Brian’s list.

~~~~

Daphne and Justin were choosing the menu with the chef who had agreed to cook on the beach, just for them. He thought we had guts, having seen us hula dancing. He got a real chuckle out of it all… He, he, he… It was his daughters who taught us to hula…

We decide on decorations. Justin wants it semi-formal with china plates, crystal and cloth napkins, a Water Lilies centerpiece and candles. No little paper lanterns or umbrellas. He’s had enough of that for one vacation. But he wants the best food and can’t wait to taste the Haupia (coconut) sauce…

It’s about one in the afternoon when he makes it back to the hotel room. He finds Brian there, talking with someone who’s measuring him for a new linen suit with just a hint of a moss green that brings out his eyes. He looks fantastic with his golden tan from sitting out in the sun, writing every morning after therapy.

“Sunshine, you’re back.”

Justin’s POV

Brian hands me a couple of suits and asks me to try them on. They’re very beautiful as well, more of a creamy off-white linen color that highlights my now white-blond hair. It’s amazing what a couple of weeks in the sun and water can do to your hair color.

All the suits look great but Brian really likes the Michael Kors one, so once the tailor is finished with Brian’s alterations he starts in on mine. About an hour later we’re finally alone and I’m beat, I need a nap. It’s also our last sunset here in Hawaii and I’m grateful that we’re not meeting the gang until ten pm so we have some time to ourselves, having left everything else in the hands of our best men…

“You still look so beautiful when you sleep.”

They both have bedhead hair from sleeping in the big chaise. Brian leans up and Justin captures his lips as they lay there making out, basking in the last few hours of their freedom, already totally committed to each other. The sun feels so good warming their skin and the colors of the sunset are so intense - red, purples, oranges and pinks… Justin thinks he’ll always remember this sunset making his soul want to dance; it will find its way onto canvas.

Justin sits up and he feels Brian’s hold on his arm. Brian says, “Just help keep me steady and I’ll do my best not to fall.”

Justin wraps his arm around Brian’s waist, letting Brian hold onto his arm tightly. Very slowly they walk together into their suite. Brian’s struggling, his feet are stinging with pain from all the pins and needles. His feet eventually become less numb and painful. Brian only made it about ten feet before he had to sit and take a break. His body felt shaky and he was a little embarrassed.

They continue on like this for the next half hour or so until Brian makes it all the way to the bathroom and the big Jacuzzi bathtub. They’re both grateful that they have one in the suite because by the time they get there Brian’s legs are trembling. He can’t help the groans that start to escape about a third of the way there but he refuses to stop.

Justin gets him set up and turns on the water to help soothe his muscles. He tells him he’s going to roll them a joint and he’ll be right back, and he is but… He also wants to call Ben and talk to him about what happened.

He was so proud of Brian for trying, really trying and accomplishing it but he almost lost it and his muscles were really trembling and weak. He’s worried about Brian and how hard he pushes himself, for him…

Justin comes back with a couple bottles of water and a joint and they relax in the bubbly water…

~~~~

“Brian, what shirt am I supposed to wear with this suit?”

“There should be a nice thick cotton t-shirt that fits you like a glove, then there’s new tan loafers as well. See…very classic and very casual.”

“What are you wearing?”

“You saw my suit.”

“I mean, your shirt.”

“The same, basically. Besides the fact that I’m wearing Valentino and you’re wearing Michael Kors.”

“Okay, are you nervous?”

“No, Justin just come in here this is a ridiculous idea of yours, staying in the other room until ten pm.”

“It’s tradition.”

“It’s stupid. It’s eight fifty. You have over an hour … I can think a much better way to spend our time.”

“Brian, we just got cleaned up…”

“So what are you wearing right now?”

“Brian!”

“Do you know what I love most about you?”

“No…”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes.”

“That you always believe in me, you stand by me. You push me to be a better man than I would be without you. That’s the greatest thing anyone’s ever given me.”

Justin is no longer sitting in the other room any more. He’s sitting on Brian’s lap, kissing him passionately, rutting against his soon-to-be husband, so taken with his pretty words - the prettiest words he’s ever heard. Who says Brian Kinney isn’t a romantic?

The boys continue to rut and kiss, not hearing the suite door open and the gang coming in, Michael yells “Christ, can’t you wait until the honeymoon?”

Their arms and legs are intertwined, passionately humping each other, clad in only black briefs with their erections protruding from their waistbands. Daphne just stares and thinks again if Justin changes his mind she’ll marry Brian in a flash…

TBC…


	13. ~ I Love The Way You Make Me Beg And Plead …

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian finds the inner strength and determination to please Justin on their special night…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 2959  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Brian finds the inner strength and determination to please Justin on their special night…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…

It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Four ~ For Richer or Poorer, in Snarkiness and in Health…

Chapter Thirteen ~ I Love The Way You Make Me Beg And Plead …

“What are you two doing?”

“We’re going over our vows. Let’s see? How do I love thee? I love your perfectly-rounded ass and the way you wiggle and writhe. I love the way you make me beg and plead…”

“Brian.”

~~~~

Brian adjusts Justin’s collar after placing the platinum chain around his neck, the two of them smiling like idiots as the Justice of the Peace pronounces them husband and husband. They both look happier than anyone has ever seen them before and it’s obvious that this was just what they needed; like they originally planned.

The ceremony had been beautiful with jasmine trellises for a background and the wonderful aroma from the blooms. Everyone is sitting on the patio, drinking champagne and eating appetizers as the chef prepares more delicious courses. Ben and Michael fantasize about their own wedding someday and what the future might hold. After they left last night they had a really good heart-to-heart talk about what they each wanted in their relationship.

It’s also the last night for Daphne and Jamaal who are very emotionally involved. The scene is three couples - very much in love with each other who all just happen to be sitting at the same table but are mentally miles away from each other. Justin still has a huge grin on his face, thinking about Brian walking the six feet next to him during their ceremony. It didn’t matter that it took ten minutes; what mattered was that he did what he set out to do - to walk down the aisle…

Ben had come by before the wedding and gave Brian a new walker, even though Brian hated the idea of it; it really gave him the confidence he needed to do it without leaning on me.

Justin’s POV

I know he’ll be tired tonight, I can see that he’s beat right now. But I can also see that everyone here wants to make it an early night. Each course of dinner is even better than the last and I’m so in love with this coconut sauce I’m going to try and get the recipe to take home. As a surprise our chef also arranged for his son-in-law, who’s a musician to play some traditional Hawaiian music in the background.

It was a very low-key affair and the perfect ending for a great vacation. I’m sitting on Brian’s lap as the last of the dinner dishes and champagne glasses are removed. Now it’s back to looking like our patio again with a few more flowers and two very happy homos… Just as the gang is about ten feet away they turn and shower us with birdseed, so we have one more long passionate kiss for our guests. Thank God they took the silverware away, enough already…

Brian rolls his eyes and says it’s going to take forever to get this birdseed out of our hair. I grin and say, “You’ll survive.” We sit in the moonlight and enjoy our last night on the island. I light a joint and ask him if he’ll take me to Europe for the following summer once I’m out of school. Darryl will be about fifteen months old and his business should be pretty well established. I’d like to really travel and see all the Masters’ paintings and the country where they originated.

He agrees to take us if I graduate as planned and get a high grade which is ridiculous because I always do well in my courses. I knew he’d take me but he has to have time to adjust to the idea and that’s a lot of time off from his agency.

~~~~

He’s seems to have gotten a second wind and is a little frisky as we sit on the shower bench and wash each other’s bodies. He squirts some mango coconut shampoo into his palms and suds up my locks as I lean back into him, sitting between his legs. There’s this calm - an inner peace that I feel just being held in his arms, knowing he’s my husband. We did it, we really did it…

I lean forward and grab the shower hose, rinsing us off. His arms come around mine and pull me into him as he lies us down on our sides. The bench is just long enough that Brian can brace himself with his arms and legs against the walls like he’s done so many times in the jeep, plus he’s been bench pressing his arm and leg muscles for months now.

I turn my head and he captures my lips. I reach back and direct his cock towards my pink pucker as he lubes his fingers and slowly enters me, poking and prodding, waiting for me to relax. Then I feel him swish his fingers around me coating me with expensive lube, a wedding present from Ben and Michael.

He scissors me open and tickles me with his long fingers as he slides in deeper, grazing my prostate, making me buck. Oh God! Yes! It’s been so long since he’s taken me, really taken me… I need this but moreover he needs this… I stroke his beautiful cock and help him direct himself towards me. I whisper, “Let me” as I slide his cock inside me. He braces his feet flat against the wall, with his knees bent, spooning me. I rest a hand on his hips, holding him close as he places his hands flat against that top wall. We slowly start to pump and push into one another, creating a beautiful friction; it’s been so long since he’s taken control and I love that he’s claiming me… I’ve needed this.

The rhythm is increasing and we both know that we won’t last long at this rate. Brian puts an arm around my waist pulling me in close; he puts his hand over mine and takes over, working my cock. He pulls several times, letting his thumb run across my slit and back again while slamming into my prostate over and over again until I’m shaking.

Feeling me come as I tremble in his arms pulls him over the edge, my velvety walls work him dry; we’re both writhing and shuddering as we catch our breath. I look up at my husband and simply say; “You’re fucking amazing!”

“I know I am…”

“Come on. Let’s go lay down some place comfortable.”

Brian bites his lip for a moment and then asks, “Can I have my chair? I’m really exhausted.”

Brian’s POV

We cuddle up on the bed and just hold each other close as we talk about how happy we truly are. It isn’t long before we’re both ready for a little more action as Justin snuggles up against me and rubs his body against mine, bringing my need to the surface again. Justin sits on my stomach, now rubbing his ass into my erection, panting and acting like he’s a fucking monkey boy as he pulls on his own cock as well. It’s fucking hot watching him grinding, let alone the sensations he’s stirring in me. He slides on my stomach now as my seed slowly drips from him, creating the most incredible lube known, the way it’s meant to be.

He throws his head back and spreads his legs as he takes me inside of him, riding me, taking me all the way in; he sighs and lets out a little gasps of air. God, he’s so beautiful and I love watching him as he fucks himself on my member. Yeah, today was the first time that I’ve really felt more like myself in years and that’s the truth; I have a really good feeling about our future.

He grunts and bucks, really riding my ridge against his prostate. He’s such a little whore the way he loves to fuck and now he’s all mine… I always said it was just a stupid piece of paper but I was wrong. It’s all about the commitment - the paper is just the protection of that commitment. Oh fuck! I’m not going to be able to last much longer if he keeps this up; I hope he remembers that I am thirty-five years old…

~~~~

Jennifer thought that it was sweet that Wayne was waiting on Cynthia hand and foot; she’s in the last six weeks of her pregnancy and is now on bed rest and minimal work responsibilities. She’s staying at the house because she has her own room and that way there’s always someone home. Ted, on the other hand thinks it’s too much like playing house and he’s worried that they’re becoming too much of a family, bonding with the baby.

Wayne’s started buying little toys and baby blankets and insists she open them. She’s not the parent… It’s not a conversation Jennifer thinks is her place to have, but Ted insist that as Darryl’s grandmother she has to say something.

Jennifer comes into Cynthia’s room with a tray of tea and sugar cookies and sees another unopened present and knows Ted’s right. She smiles and pours the tea and asks, “Should I set this baby present away with the others for Brian and Justin or is this a present for you?”

She could say that because she just showed Cynthia all the presents that she bought yesterday for the baby and they wrapped them together. Cynthia just blushes and says, “Wayne is starting to have feelings for the baby, and so am I. But I know this isn’t my son or daughter, so let’s wrap these things back up and place them with the others. I’ll tell Wayne he has to back off and spend less time here for now. You know, Jen, I didn’t expect to have feelings for… You know, I’m just emotional right now…”

“Maybe you need to talk with someone about how it’s going to be, watching them grow up while working for Brian. What’s your role?”

“Brian, Justin and I talked in the beginning and I want them to know me, know that I’m their mother and that they were conceived because of the love that exists between their fathers. That I’ll actually be their godmother and try and be part of their lives from a more removed place but still have an active role in the major events.”

“That sounds very reasonable. I’m just a little worried, that’s what mothers do…”

“I understand. I know Wayne has other ideas; he likes to think we could be raising a child but I’m really not ready for that yet. We’ve only been seeing each other about a year.”

~~~~

Justin rides me, sliding up and down on me like I’m a human pogo stick, each time slipping almost off me and then back down, taking all of me… Oh so deep, so tight, so beautiful… He starts an intense rhythm as he drives himself closer and closer… he starts chanting “Brian, Brian, Brian…”

He’s so close… “Brian, Brian, Brian!!!” His body spasms and twists as he collapses onto my chest; I couldn’t help shooting as I saw him start to fall over the edge, his beautiful blond head thrown back, riding out the last of his bliss, his slick ravine sucking me with intense pleasure… Oh God, this is heaven. He wraps himself around me with his head on my chest, holding each other tight as we drift off to sleep…

Justin’s POV

The next morning we wake to the strangest noises that are really spooky. They started at the crack of dawn … I couldn’t look at first. I had no idea what it could be, except that something was on the patio… Finally after an hour or so Brian threatens to go himself so I brave it, pulling back the curtain and I jump ten feet…

Birds… Hundreds of birds, mostly seagulls but lots of other little birds as well, having a feast on the birdseed scattered all over the patio. Knowing that they’re just birds doesn’t take the creepy factor away. It just makes me think about that movie… I really can’t sleep now and their wings have a slightly similar sound to something moving through the air so my nerves are starting to get freaked out; I know I need my meds…

I don’t tell Brian how often I’ve been getting these attacks recently because I was sure it was just about the wedding.

“Can’t breathe, can’t breathe…”

“You’re okay. Here, I’ll get your medicine…”

Brian’s POV

I saw them in the nightstand drawer and realized that Justin must be having more nightmares if he keeps them next to the bed. I wondered how long this had been going on and why he never mentioned it.

“Can’t breathe…”

I hand him a glass of water and two tablets. I also noticed that the strength has increased from his last prescription.

I turn on the television for background noise to drown out the birds while his meds start to work. I hold him close while we try and sleep through re-runs of ‘The Man from Uncle’… I dream of him as Illya Kuryakin, me as Napoleon Solo and Carl as Mr. Waverly.”

~~~~

We had a rough landing at the airport, due to an ice storm that has frozen all of Pittsburgh. By the time we make it back to West Virginia the weather is letting up a little and he’s not as shaken as he has been the last twenty-four hours. He hates flying and the bad weather only makes it worse; it’s late but we check on Cynthia and she’s reading contracts and eating potato chips in bed.

She smiles and says, “Hey boss, I thought I’d actually get some work done before you arrived… So how was your vacation? Was he surprised?”

“Great and yes, listen, we’re beat and it’s late. We’re going to get some sleep, it was a long flight.”

They make their way to their big bed and collapse, falling asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows… Justin dreams of white sandy beaches and endless sunsets, paintings that almost seem alive… His mind drifts and he’s watching Brian, playing in a volleyball tournament in his cut-offs looking golden tan and perfect. Is it a premonition of his future?

“Good morning, Mr. Taylor-Kinney”, I say, smiling at him. It feels good to be home in our bed. Justin leans up and kisses me good morning, stretching like a cat and crawling up my body. I kiss and nibble him under his left ear where I know it drives him crazy. It isn’t long before he’s panting and I’m writhing with need and desire.

I roll him over on his back, surprised by my own strength and he eagerly slides his legs onto my shoulders. I lean down and kiss him passionately, again thanking him silently for being my husband. I place kisses down his chest as he reaches for the lube. I stop when I reach his leaking cock and swirl my tongue around the head of his prick. He bucks and moans as I take more of him into my mouth and I penetrate him with a well-lubed finger.

He pushes back on my hand and works my mouth some to heighten his rapidly approaching orgasm. I slide a second finger in and now work both his rosebud and his cock in a steady rhythm, bringing him to the brink until he can no longer hold back. He shoots his load down my throat as I tickle his prostate with my three fingers, waving deep inside of him. He’s always been loud when he cums and he just seems to get louder the longer we’re together.

I let him catch his breath before I penetrate him, wondering if I can balance myself long enough on my knees to get the job done. I’m pulled from my thoughts by his soft voice, asking for me… I take my leaking cock and push into his entrance as he pushes back into me, taking me all the way in. It’s almost too much for me, feeling his warm wet walls squeezing and twisting me.

After almost a year of being his sweet bottom boy, now it’s like a total sexual rebirth. A year ago I never thought I’d see him again, never thought I’d be sexually active to this extent or ever be loved again and now I’m married to this beautiful blond of mine.

I sense that he’s adjusted and start moving inside of him, balancing myself on my hands and knees. He spreads his legs nice and wide taking as much of me as he can. The look on his face is pure delight and I wonder for the first time if he’s missed bottoming. It’s a concept that’s never occurred to me before. Is it possible?

Then I hear him say, “Need you, need you so bad…”

I lean down and kiss him as I start rocking us in unison until we’re building a delicious friction, sparking deep pleasure inside us both. I’m trying to hold back my orgasm by thinking of anything just so I can please him and remind him of the man I once was. Not the schoolboy I feel like right now who’s losing his virginity.

I hear him moaning and groaning and calling my name; he looks lost in sexual ecstasy as he squirms and wiggles beneath me.

I feel his warm wet walls closing in on me, sucking me, working my juices out of me. I stop resisting and we both explode in sheer elation as our bodies tremble. I lean and fall over onto my side, pulling him with me as we catch our breath.

TBC…


	14. ~ All You Need Is Love…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Justin both show a little jealous streak that improves their sex life…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Four ~ Birth and Re-birth…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3979  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
queer_as_fics Challenge: Awakenings

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Brian and Justin both show a little jealous streak that improves their sex life…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…

It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Four ~ Birth and Re-birth…

Chapter Fourteen ~ All You Need Is Love…

Justin looks into his husband’s eyes, expressing his love and contentment. Who knew that a few simple words of commitment would calm him in ways he’s never felt before? Justin is ready to snuggle back up against Brian when he hears a commotion in the hallway then their bedroom door being opened.

Justin has a few more days before he has to go back to school and Jennifer let Gus skip school today because he missed his Dads more than anyone thought possible; besides he’s only in kindergarten. He pokes his head in the door because he knows that he’s not supposed to go in if the door is closed but he can’t help it - he misses his dad and Justy.

When he sees them looking back at him he starts laughing and runs towards them, jumping on the bed then placing kisses all over their faces. “Daddy, you are never to go away again…” Justin just looks at Brian, remembering his request for go to Europe for the summer in a year and a half; maybe Lindsay would let them take Gus.

They slowly make their way to the kitchen as Gus wants waffles with brown sugar and whipped cream. Brian has visions of Gus at two hundred pounds and asks if he’s sure he doesn’t want cereal. Justin shakes his head and says it’s okay; that it’s a special day and Gus can have anything he wants. Gus then pipes up with, “I want ice cream on my waffles…please?”

Justin rolls his eyes and says, “Gus… Brown sugar and whipped cream, no ice cream. Because that’s the way Justin likes his waffles as well. Even Brian had some waffles after much prodding from Gus and Justin, but not brown sugar or whipped cream.

~~~~

After breakfast Brian has to get back to work in his office, reviewing the contracts and storyboards produced in the last week then he needs to check his writing before he gives it to Cynthia to proof read. Like a fool he goes to one of those blogs that is reviewing his latest book and links to the fangirls. “Totalbitch” is cutting his story down, saying how lame his character is and how no real stud would bottom, even if he was paralyzed.

Justin hears him complaining and says; “That’s no reason to call her a total bitch…”

“I’m not… that’s what she’s calling herself and she is…”

“Even so… small children and everything…”

“Justin you don’t understand. She was criticizing our sex life, and she’s not the only one. One called me an abomination and another said I was a sissy. Don’t these people understand what I’ve gone through? How hard I’ve worked? They’re nothing but little bitches. Let’s see something they’ve written…the nerve of them!”

“Oh God, Brian, please tell me you didn’t respond to their petty reviews with words like that; please tell me you didn’t respond at all. It’s best to ignore people like that. I mean, what would straight women know about gay men’s sex lives?”

“Apparently quite a bit, you should read these suggestions. “Don’t worry, I’m keeping a list,” he grins. “They have very vivid imaginations, if only our bodies could twist into those positions.”

“Just close your laptop; you have a meeting with Ted and Cynthia and then come to lunch…”

“Did you know they have whole websites dedicated to continuing writing our story? Something called fanfiction. I thought women liked love stories, but no, they love ones with loads of angst…”

“Just close your laptop…”

Ted sticks his head in the door and says that they’ll be meeting in Cynthia’s bedroom. “Pajama Party and my long-johns are in the laundry.”

Brian insists on walking to the next room over with his walker even if it takes him fifteen minutes. This standing, moving, balancing thing is really difficult, damn… Ted’s all over the place trying to do the right thing and not be in the way. “Theodore, have a seat and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Ten minutes, ok. Just think of it as therapy and I get the comfortable side chair.

Cynthia looks like a princess in her lace gown and night coat. “If I had known it was going to be formal I would have dressed up, your highness…”

“Brian, shut up. I’m so uncomfortable and I can’t get out of bed today.”

“How come when I said that I still had to get up…?”

“I have the financial reports for the last two quarters and next year and five-year projections.”

“Thank you, Ted. I’d like just a minute to review the stats.”

Ted and Cynthia just grin at each other. They’ve only been up and running six months and this is their first official board meeting where they can show a profit and have realistic projections for the future.

“So, I guess we need to hire a couple of more people and hand out a few bonuses. How about Sarah-Jane? Is she ready to go full-time and have we heard back from Dave Hillman. I had lunch with him before I left.”

“Yes, Dave’s on board; he’s here, working, if you want him to come down. Sarah said she’d go full-time on the first of February; she would like a couple of weeks off beforehand.”

Cynthia hands Brian a stack of about twenty CVs and says, “I’ve narrowed it down to those. I think we should interview twelve and hire four account reps.”

“I’ll review these and have Jennifer schedule the interviews. What about the art department? I think we should hire a couple more permanent employees there as well.”

“I’ll set up a meeting with Sarah-Jane and maybe they can take up some of the slack while she’s out.”

“How are the new boards for ‘Brown Athletics’ coming? Has Sarah-Jane submitted the modern designs for the women’s line yet?”

“Everything will be ready Tuesday afternoon, and Leo is scheduled to meet with you on Friday, so there’s plenty of time for changes.”

“All right, then… How’s my peanut? Or should I make that a watermelon…”

“If I could only get out of bed…” a pillow hits Brian in the side of the head.

~~~~

A couple of weeks later Justin is in class; the new teacher explains that Professor Newhouse is out ill this semester so this class is now switched with next semester’s Life Drawing class. Professor Newhouse should be back by that time, so Professor Walton goes on to explain that this semester’s assignment would be to work with a partner to create a section of a mural to be designed on campus.

Then they proceed to call pre-assigned partners to work with, and of course, Justin is paired with a Terry Thompson. He meets with the teacher after class, asking if they can switch partners; that he just has a bad feeling about this. Predictably his professor thinks it’s all silly and refuses Justin’s wish.

He decides it’s best to tell Brian right away about being assigned to partner with Terry, even if this Terry did miss the first day of class. He goes into Brian’s office and finds him talking with a young blond man who is doing an internship in the art department.

“Justin, this is Sarah-Jane’s new intern. I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

“Terry, Terry Thompson, Mr. Kinney. I’ve heard so much about you and it’s a pleasure to have this opportunity to work with you.”

Justin is just standing there, staring at him as he ogles Brian, leaning towards him, practically coming on to him. He tells himself to get a grip, that he trusts Brian completely… So why is he so jealous? They’re married, right? Brian wouldn’t throw it all away for a cheap fuck, right?

“Terry, it’s so nice to meet you. You’re a student at PIFA? So am I. I think we might have a class or two together this semester.”

“Really? I had to skip classes today with the internship.”

“What! No, your school comes first, the internship hours need to be worked around your school schedule,” says Brian.

“My experience here is more important, Mr. Kinney.”

“No, I don’t believe that’s true, and I expect you to attend all your classes from now on.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What did you say your name was?”

“Terry.”

Terry looks a little sad; he blew off classes just to spend it with the great God Kinney, and he didn’t even remember his name which he’s told him three times today.

~~~~

Justin excuses himself, feeling a rush of jealousy coming over him and hopes he’s being ridiculous. But Terry follows close behind him, saying how hot he thinks Brian is and that he just knows that he’ll make it with him in no time. Justin just glares at him, thinking he’s so dense…

Justin goes to his studio to work out his jealous feelings on canvas. Shortly thereafter Terry pushes the door open and asks why he gets a huge studio and he has a small cubicle to work in. Justin’s floored that he would actually walk into a room with a closed door.

He acts like he didn’t hear him with his I-pod blasting.

“Is there something that you need? My studio is not part of Kinnetik so I would appreciate it if you’d respect the boundaries,” he says, smiling back.

“You’re not an intern?”

“No.”

“I don’t understand. If you don’t work here…”

Justin wishes now that they had decided to tell everyone they were married but they didn’t. They wanted to keep it a secret so they didn’t disappoint Jennifer or Deb on missing their wedding. It’s then that Gus pushes his way past Terry, sleepily holding his arms up for Justin to pick him up. Which he does like a perfect father, holding his son and smoothing his hair after his nap.

Justin raises his eyebrows, asking if he needs something, that Kinnetik should be stocked with all the art supplies he needs and that the products in his studio were his personally and not for the company’s use. Terry notices that Justin has the very best paints and brushes and asks what makes him special.

Justin just chuckles and says, “That would be my nice round bubble butt that my partner is so fond of… You’d be amazed at what he’ll give me…”

A little while later Terry makes his way down to Brian’s office again, walking right in while Brian’s in the middle of a meeting with Em.

“I’ve changed my mind and I want us to have charcoal suits and black shirts. I’ll have a black tie and Justin, no tie.”

Brian looks up at Terry, irritated. No one, not even Justin walks into his office if the door is closed; this boy needs to learn to be professional.

“Is there something you need?”

“I just wanted to talk about my work space. It seems such a shame to waste all that space in one big room and cramp the others into two other rooms. I was hoping you would tell that blond that he has to share his space. You do want me to do my best work, right?”

“Justin’s studio isn’t part of Kinnetik and Sarah-Jane designed the space and cubicles for the staff, so I’m sure they’re sufficient for your needs as you’re only working fifteen hours a week - your school comes first.”

“So Justin and Sarah-Jane get huge studios and the other six of us have to share two rooms?”

Emmett looks at Brian who’s practically in shock; no one talks to Brian that way.

“You should be glad you’re not doing your internship with Gardner Vance; their workspaces are tiny. Now I’m in a meeting and in the future if you ever enter a room through a closed door, without knocking, you’re fired.”

Ted heard the ‘you’re fired’ and the harsh tone of Brian’s voice and knocked lightly. As the door was open he then proceeded to take Terry by the elbow and steer him out of Brian’s office. He walked him all the way back up to the third-floor art department. Along the way he explained that the house was off-limits to employees and that he needed to have an appointment to see Brian or anyone else.

Mitchell, who just started a couple of weeks ago said that he was sorry he didn’t see him leave and thought that he was in the restroom, not down in Brian’s office again. Sarah-Jane had hired two permanent staff members and four interns.

Mitchell and Susan had been lured away from other prestigious advertising firms and they thought that between them and Sarah-Jane they had picked the best interns that had applied. But now Mitchell was having second thoughts.

~~~~

“Okay, now you want New York style cheesecake, regular flavor, alternating with a chocolate flavor and two extra top layers - one of each flavor to freeze for Justin because he won’t be able to wait for your anniversary.”

“Yeah, I think that’s best, don’t you? Just don’t tell him or he’ll eat all of them…”

Emmett shakes his head, “Any other changes? The wedding is only a couple of weeks away so now’s the time. Still happy with the china and linens? Let’s review. Deep purple tablecloths topped with a white tablecloth. Deep purple cloth napkins, white dinner plates and coffee cups, lavender soup bowls, salad plates and dessert plates.“

“Crystal water glasses, cocktail glasses, wine goblets and candlesticks. Deep purple candles and small lavender gift bags, filled with white Jordan almonds and lavender and deep purple M&M’s that have your names on them.”

“Are you sure we need those little candy bags?”

“Yes, Brian. Everyone has some sort of party favors at the table…”

“All right, fine. So far, so good.”

“Birds of Paradise in tall white vases on each table. The dinner menu is: shrimp cocktail, white corn chowder, orange sorbet to cleanse the pallet. Then the main course of filet mignon and lobster tails with drawn butter, French bread, caramelized carrots and Yukon gold potatoes finishing with an endive salad and much later the cheesecake and fancy teas and coffees, lattés and cappuccinos…

“I’m pretty sure I’ll explode before dessert, Em…”

“You wanted formal…”

“Now, I’ve ordered two cases each of these three champagnes. Only the best, of course. Now, how many cases of red and white wine and whiskey, vodka, gin etc do you think we’ll need?”

“Geez, Em, you’re the pro and we invited all of Babylon, or so it seems…”

~~~~

Terry decides to talk to Mitchell about the space issue, saying how unfair it is that they have to share space while Justin and Sarah-Jane don’t.

“First of all, Sarah-Jane is our boss and their rooms are smaller than mine and Susan, you and the other interns have to share our studio space. But no need to worry - your internship is only for ten weeks so you’ll be gone before you know it… Before Brian and Justin return from their honeymoon and yes, he did mean partners in “that” way…”

“I…I didn’t know.”

“Obviously, but you need to learn how to handle yourself professionally or you won’t last the ten weeks.”

~~~~

Justin is finishing up his painting for his homework assignment in his Modern Art class and Gus is still painting wildly in the nude. Justin decides to sketch him as he wants to avoid the art department staff and Brian right now. He’s angry but unsure if it’s warranted. Maybe Terry’s alright - just an idiot and he’s reading things from his dream into this when they don’t exist.

It’s just that he seemed so arrogant. Even if he was just a fellow intern, he shouldn’t have treated them that way. Gus is covered from head to toe with paint and his watercolors are a sea of rainbows. He tells Justin he’s making Grandma Deb rainbow flags for Pride. Justin just smiles - he’s always so proud of him. He takes him into the bathroom and starts the shower and washes his hair with baby shampoo.

While he’s stepped out Terry couldn’t help wandering into Justin’s studio again, not just admiring the space, lighting and the view but also admiring Justin’s talent. He was totally blown away with how talented he was and can’t help opening his storage cabinet, looking through the dried canvases that were stored away.

Justin hears someone in the cabinet and calls to them. He doesn’t want to leave Gus unattended in the shower; he thinks he’s still too young. He tries to look through the door cracks to see but he just knows it’s Terry. He tries to calm himself and not lose it, be the bigger man and not the jealous housewife. His hand is cramping from the tension.

~~~~

“Don’t you want to talk about it?”

“No, let’s just go to sleep…”

“Come on, you know you do… Besides, if you talk about it then we can fuck…”

“Brian…”

“What? I’ll start… Terry’s a total asshole…”

“Brian…”

“What?”

“He was in my studio, going through my things, I think. Someone was and I don’t think it was Mitchell and no one else was here today.”

“I’ll fire him.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because I still have to be partners with him doing the mural. I have to draw him…The mural represents our class. Part of the assignment is to get to know him personally and then paint my impression of him, incorporating his personality. He missed the assignment today. He has to do me, so we will have to get to know each other and maybe him being here is a good thing, as opposed to me and him hanging out some place else.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

Justin almost laughs and he thought he was being the jealous housewife.

“It means, let’s cut the guy some slack and get to know him. Maybe he’s not a bad guy. I mean, who wouldn’t want to get in your pants?”

“My pants? I’m pretty sure it’s your pants he’s cruising.”

Total jealous housewife mode… interesting…

“Come here, big guy. I was just feeling stressed. You know just how to help me relax…”

Brian captures Justin’s lips in his and they share sweet kisses that slowly turn more passionate. Justin climbs into Brian’s lap and crawls up his torso, rubbing his body against Brian’s, eliciting moans from each other. Brian’s feeling stronger all the time and he instinctually flips Justin onto his back in one motion and is on top of him, feeling heady and excited.

Justin just grins. It’s been over two years since Brian’s been dominant with him in a predatory sort of way. Yeah, a tiny bit of jealousy isn’t such a bad thing. It’s just funny because he was jealous himself, which he now knows he doesn’t need to be. ‘That’ Brian really is in the past. What’s left is a man who’s willing to show his feelings: that he’s vulnerable at heart and needs to know you’re all his.

Justin’s POV

He licks and kisses his way down my chest, tickling me as he goes. His day’s beard growth is just rough enough that it sends trails of sensations through my body as he approaches my bush. I get even harder than I was, just feeling his breath near my base. My slit is oozing with anticipation and I’m going crazy. He loves to tease me and I admit I love it too, but I’m out of practice and I need him badly.

But I dare not beg. I know his games way too well and I want that big prick of his as soon as possible. He lifts my feet to his shoulders and pulls me close. I feel his warm wet tongue starting at my perineum, licking back to my rosebud and dipping his tongue in, swirling around and loosening me up.

It feels so wonderful. I loved rimming right from that very first night; it may have been the rimming that sealed my heart with his. Well, and the fucking, kissing and all those special places he needed to mark me, claim me in ways he never did with other men. I was never just another man - I knew that the first night.

I remember the second time I went to his place unannounced. He was waiting for Mr. Goodfuck; that was the first time he broke one of his precious rules for me. He went after me as I ran away to Daphne’s car. He tried to tell me that he didn’t do relationships. But it was too late. We were already drowning in the sea of love - we just didn’t know it then.

The next night I was so depressed that Daphne convinced me that she would go with me back to Babylon to show Brian I could get someone new. And boy, did I! I slipped onto the dance floor, shirtless and took away both the hotties he was dancing with. Then he claimed me as his, right there in the middle of Babylon for Michael and everyone else to see.

That night he took me home with him for a second time and broke another one of his rules; never sleep with the same guy twice… He broke that one four or five nights a week, right from the beginning. He just had a handful of appetizers before he had his main course…ME. I always thought he was the one with all the power in our relationship, but now I understand I may have had some of that power and not realized it.

I pushed and pushed my way into his heart but the truth is I was already there. He just never told me, but he knew.

“Oh God, yes!!!”

I spread my legs even further apart, arching my back as he slips his tongue into me further, circling inside me, driving me crazy with need.

“Brian, Brian, Brian…”

I’m working my cock frantically, getting so close to coming when I feel him take over for me. He licks his way up my cock and by the time he reaches my pink head he starts sucking me and taking me down his throat. I can’t hold back as I shoot, poking into the side of his cheeks and down his throat again and again. I love the feeling of my ridge playing across his warm wet lips, so silky, so similar to being raw and I know what comes next.

“Such a horny boy…”

I can barely catch my breath as he’s positioned himself at my entrance, ready to take me. He slides deep inside and waits for me to adjust, nibbling on my neck, kissing me passionately, whispering sweet words of love and desire. Once he’s sure I’m open, he leans down and starts pumping himself into me while pushing my legs back over my head, giving him a nice deep fuck just like he’s missed for so long.

I’m filled with tremors of pleasure as he increases his thrusts, pushing and pulling me along with him as we ride this wave, cresting with euphoria. We’re both right there as we try and prolong the inevitable, surfing the tide that’s about to wash over us. We hold each other tight as we feel our orgasm rattle through us as we’re satiated, just knowing we’re right where we belong.

We lie there, covered in sweat and cum, sticking to one another, when there’s a knock on our bedroom door. We can’t imagine that anyone in their right mind would interrupt us right now. I pull the duvet up over us and say, “Come in.”

Marco enters and tells us that it’s Cynthia: that her water broke; that she’s bleeding and the ambulance is on the way…

TBC…


	15. ~ Dr Wilder, I Presume…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Justin open up about their feeling concerning the bashing…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 4333  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52

 

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Brian and Justin open up about their feeling concerning the bashing…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…   
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Four ~ Birth and Re-birth…

Chapter Fifteen ~ Dr Wilder, I Presume…

The ambulance pulled up to the front of the house and the paramedics came rushing into Cynthia’s room where Brian and Justin were trying to keep Cynthia calm. Justin was her Lamaze coach and he’s helping to keep her breathing under control as she tries not to push. Brian’s staying back out of the way and no one seems to notice that he’s struggling with the sight of blood, feels very faint and is close to slipping into a PTSD moment.

The paramedics load Cynthia into the ambulance and Justin tells her that he and Brian will follow right behind in the van. He feels torn between staying with Brian and wanting to stay with Cynthia. Brian insists that Justin go with Cynthia and that Marco will drive him in the van. There’s too much commotion and stress for Brian to consider not using his chair - he needs to be mobile and moving fast.

Justin leaves with Cynthia but feels very odd about leaving Brian behind.

Justin’s POV

The paramedics are in contact with the hospital the whole ride and waiting for us as we arrive. I kiss her on the cheek and then she’s gone down a long white corridor and that’s when the sight of blood starts to hit me… and I remember Brian’s eyes being glassy and strange.

I go outside to wait and it isn’t long before I see the van drive up; I go and help Brian out. He’s really quiet and looks scared to death. I get him over to the patio area and sit with him in the moonlight. I’ve been to the hospital enough times to know that you always have to wait forever to hear anything. Marco goes in and talks with the nurses and tells them where we are in case the doctors come out.

I run my hands through his hair and he seems to come alive like he was in a trance. He squeezes my hand and says; “I can’t run Kinnetik without Cyn. She’s so some much a part of my… everything… She’s been here for me through thick and thin and now I feel like I did this to her.”

“She’s going to be fine, you have to think positive.”

“I’m so worried about Darryl too… Why did this have to happen?”

“I don’t know and we don’t know what’s going on yet. She could be fine…”

“We should go in…”

Brian and I go into the sterile hospital to wait for word on Cynthia’s condition; we know we should call Wayne but right now we don’t need a crazy boyfriend in our face. Marco comes back from talking with the nurses and we all go to the waiting area near the maternity ward.

It isn’t long before a nurse comes out and tells us that we can follow her. She says that Cynthia is doing fine in recovery; that they had to do an emergency C-Section and then we stop and she says, “He’s only five pounds seven ounces but he is beautiful. Would you like to hold your son?”

Justin watches as Brian takes his new son in his arms and his heart melts while he holds Darryl. The nurse tells us that being born a month early Darryl needs to stay in the hospital for a few days to a week for tests and observation but that he’s fully developed and is breathing fine on his own.

Cynthia had been having back pain all day and didn’t realize that she had started premature labor until she was really in pain. When she moved she tore some muscle tissue and started bleeding. Now of course she wasn’t feeling any pain at all with all the drugs they had given her before surgery and in recovery but tomorrow will be another story.

Justin grins like a fool as he starts taking pictures with his camera phone and sending them off to the family. Brian says: “Here hold your son and maybe next time we’ll get that daughter of yours.”

Jennifer is the first to get there as she was just driving home from Tucker’s place so she’s there in fifteen minutes; Debbie and Vic follow shortly thereafter. It’s just before 3 am and the boys are just leaving the diner after their late-night snack. The waiting room is filling up fast and they’re only allowed to see the baby in small groups through the glass.

The hospital only wants immediate family to hold the baby the first forty-eight hours to prevent exposure to germs. Justin is holding the baby, feeding him his first bottle. The calm that he feels is just as he dreamed it would be; he knows that this is what he’s wanted for so long.

He stands and holds up the baby for the gang to see and he sees so much pride in Brian’s smile. Brian tells the boys the stressful start to Darryl’s delivery and I see that it’s helping him work through his PTSD as he tells Michael that there was, ’so much fucking blood, I was scared to death… I thought, no, don’t let me lose him…Then I remembered saying those same words over and over again, covered in his blood.’

Michael’s a good friend as he holds Brian while he relives part of the past and lets go just a little more… It’s the first time I’ve heard him talk about being at the hospital that night; I always thought that he wasn’t there. I just look at him and he looks a little sad but I know it’s good for him to get his emotions out. The thing is I really need to do the same. We never talk about it and he’s always walking on eggshells around me when I get weird.

I guess I need to talk to Alex about some of my issues. I just hoped they’d get better on their own. Brian comes over to me and says, “I love you. I tried to show you that night and then you couldn’t remember. Damn! I wish you could remember - it was so fucking special to me, to us…”

“Shush. It’s okay…”

~~~~

“JUSTIN, NO, no, no, no…”

“Shush. It’s okay…It’s okay, it’s okay, wake up…”

“Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go…”

“Shush. It’s okay…”

I feel him start to wake. He’s trembling just like he was a few hours ago when he was calling my name just as loud. I look over at Darryl’s bassinet and he’s completely out, thank God… Our son seems to be able to sleep through anything. Brian’s voice cracks as he starts to say, “I’m sorry I never came into your room.”

I wrinkle my face, saying; “You used to come in through the window at Deb’s in the middle of the night after we’d have a fight. Otherwise I was already in your bed.”

“Not that room… I… I may have come to your room at night but I just couldn’t go inside. I’d sit in that sterile hallway for hours, watching you sleep. I was so afraid that you might not come back to me, that you’d blame me, that you’d never remember me…”

“Brian, I know we need to talk about that night. I think we’ve put this aside for way too long and it’s time we confronted it. From now on we’re in this together, no more secrets…”

“It wasn’t really a secret. I just didn’t tell you.”

“You’re impossible.”

“After that I got scared, I just couldn’t let it show. What if you still couldn’t hear me? I know I was an arrogant bastard, and I know now how much I hurt you on my quests to conquer Liberty Avenue. You stopped being able to read me and everything got so screwed up then you didn’t want me anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Brian… I got lost, confused about what was important.”

“But, you set most of the rules and then you broke them and threw them in my face… I never… NEVER broke them, not to this day…”

“I’m so sorry, Brian… I never meant to hurt you so badly…”

“It’s like I can’t separate my pain about the bashing from my pain about losing you…”

“I can understand that. It’s because I wasn’t the same person as I was before the bashing and you’re right. I stopped reading the Kinney manual and tried to be on autopilot and stumbled and fell… I felt threatened by all your tricks and I needed to feel special.”

“But you are special, and I tried so hard to show you that, but you couldn’t hear me. And you let go so easily. I always wondered why? Why? Was there anything I could have said that you would have heard at that point, or were you already gone?”

“Brian, I want to talk about all this and now is fine but let’s have a drink and get out of bed, okay?”

~~~~

They started with Beam and several hours later Justin made lattes with rum and brandy. Alex usually doesn’t like his patients to drink during therapy but they’re making incredible progress although they’ve been up most of the night; he arrived at about 2 am. Justin had called, saying that they really seemed to be opening up about their feelings and talking about the events surrounding the bashing. Justin tries to explain that he never stopped loving or wanting Brian, he didn’t think Brian wanted him anymore; he started to believe that he never loved him.

After much talking Justin has a much better understanding of how hard it was for Brian, holding him while waiting for the ambulance and how he had just come to the Prom to profess his love then the fear he felt about possibly losing him. How Brian was feeling guilty that his love for him caused Justin all his pain then feeling like everyone blamed him.

Justin knows that Brian withdrew his emotions out of fear of not being loved in return and fear of actually being loved. The whole concept of love was so foreign to him and yet he wanted it desperately, he just didn’t want anyone to know. So he hid his feelings even deeper after Jen asked him to kindly disappear from the only person he ever thought he could love, crushing his heart completely.

Even though Justin knows how stoic a front Brian can put on, he knew just by the look in his eyes how difficult it was for him to turn him away, telling him good-bye that day as he stood outside the loft door. Emotions weren’t a bad thing. After all it was his temper tantrum that got him back into Brian’s life.

Even though they’re past most of their weirdness at this point it was important to acknowledge that it existed when they first got back together after the bashing and how that resulted in both of them acting out, hurting each other. Brian still had a need to show Justin how much he cared, but Justin couldn’t see it. He lost his ability to read Brian’s moods or see that his little gifts of paints or brushes were his way of saying those three little words. The problem was that Justin seemed to need grand gestures of love and Brian’s inadequate ones went unnoticed, or worse yet, expected.

Justin sat there thinking - sketch pads, canvas, paints, pencils, a computer, tuition, a home and three squares… and more love than I ever deserved. My problem was in my head and not with him. If anything he gave me more than he ever had before. I never knew when to stop pushing and yet I’m still hiding and that scares me. I know I have to tell him about my hand… my headaches, my memory…

So he confesses that he gets confused sometimes and can’t remember things he just did or said. That he thinks he might be losing small periods of time like he’s on autopilot again sometimes. He mentions that he’s having issues with his motor skills, using his hand then there are the headaches that have started again.

He was hoping that it was the stress of everything and the fact that there getting married again, next week… That it would all go away once things settled down. Alex quizzes him on his headaches and how long he’s been having them, and if he ever wakes up in a foreign place, not knowing how he’s gotten there?

“One time I looked up and I was reading in the student lounge and I had no memory of leaving class an hour earlier.”

“How do you know it was an hour ago?”

“I just assume I was on autopilot and followed the other students when class ended.”

“Did you ever sleepwalk as a child?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Now, Justin, I need you to be completely honest with me about this next question. Has this ever happened while you’re driving?”

Justin looks down and then away from Alex and Brian and then says, “It’s nothing. I just sometimes space out on the long drive home… You know, I look up and don’t recognize where I’m at and then a few minutes later I get my bearing and know the road gain. It’s nothing; it’s a long drive…”

“Justin, I’m afraid I’m going to have to suspend your driver’s license for a while until this clears up. It’s for your own protection was well as others. You can see that, right?”

“I need to be able to drive…”

“I’m going to order an MRI as well so we can rule out any other remote possibilities.”

“Fuck, Doc! Go ahead and say it… Damn it, Brain Tumor!!!”

“Please sit down, Justin. It’s okay to be frightened. Does your hand shake like that often?”

Here Justin pulls his hand away from Brian who had already started rubbing and massaging his cramped, shaking fingers. Justin starts pacing, feeling like a trapped cat. “I’m fine, I’m fine… I’m just stressed, that’s all…”

“When did the headaches start?”

“When I was in Hawaii. I came in from scuba diving a couple of times then my hand started acting up, even when I wasn’t painting but I just soaked it in the Jacuzzi to loosen it up. It’s nothing; it’s going to be fine.”

Justin settles down and comes over and sits on Brian’s lap. They seem to have made some real progress in therapy today and besides Justin’s current physical issues Alex wants them to explore this thing Justin’s calls “Being onto him” and the “Kinney operating manual” so they can understand where their miscommunication started so long ago and why they haven’t been able to get back there completely.

They’re all exhausted, having been up all night so they make their way out towards the kitchen where Jennifer introduces herself, saying, “Dr. Wilder, I presume” and then offers to make everyone omelets and hash browns for breakfast. Then she watches Darryl as Brian and Justin sleep into the late afternoon, much more relaxed and feeling closer to one another than they have in a long time.

They wake to the smell of bacon and can’t decide if it’s morning or evening as they make their way to the kitchen, hungry again. Jennifer smiles and says; “I was just making BLTs and tomato soup for a light dinner for all of us.”

“How can bacon be in a light dinner?” Brian questions

But of course he wants a BLT just like everyone else. Brian grabs a beer and a water and hands the water to Justin saying, “No alcohol for you, young man.”

Justin smiles as he loves it when Brian tries to take care of him, but he’s scared. He didn’t realize before how all his symptoms add up and that he might really have a problem.

Brian stands behind him, holding him tight, kissing his hairline and his scar whispering, “Everything is going to be all right, I won’t leave you this time.”

That’s the first time that Justin made the connection with his fear of being alone again as he was last time he went through his recovery and physical therapy. This isn’t so different from all the surgeries that Brian’s had to endure over the last year, so they can do this together, be strong together.

Jennifer knows that Alex was here most of the night, but he’s a therapist. So she has no idea what they talked about, nor will she, unless Brian and Justin care to share, which Justin is adamantly against. He doesn’t want anyone there except Brian for his MRI and if there’s surgery, maybe the same. There’ll be no surgery until after the wedding; he’s not cutting his hair short for the wedding.

~~~~

Because Terry and Justin have very similar school schedules Brian has asked that Terry drive Justin home from school while Justin takes the train into the city in the mornings. Justin wants to take the train in the afternoons as well, but Brian insisted that it was part of the bonding experience with Terry for his class.

Justin’s POV

I didn’t want to tell Terry about the bashing or my disabilities. Yes, I have to call them disabilities too… Fuck, we really are a pair… Terry’s really not such a bad person; he’s just young and impulsive, maybe a little like me at one point. But I had to grow up fast, living with Mr. Kinney and his world of rules and then ours. Terry’s a pretty good artist and he needs to sketch me, so he’s prepared to include me in the mural as I am, him.

So the first sketches are of us sketching each other, holding our sketch books like starving artists, except that in his I have a beautiful newborn lying on the sofa next to me. He’s apologized several times for acting so stupidly with Brian, he really didn’t know about us. And he really thought that Cynthia and Wayne were the parents, he was so off base… I’ve forgiven him, but I still catch him looking at Brian with total admiration and I can’t help feeling my jealous streak.

But Brian is oblivious; he just doesn’t notice Terry’s schoolboy drooling. Mitchell’s pretty good at reeling him in, since I don’t really work with him. I just have a couple of classes. It’s later in the day and Terry’s gone up to work in the studio on some storyboards for the next ad campaign. I’m rocking Darryl, waiting for his bottle to warm up as I hum ‘Good Day Sunshine’ - one of the Beatles songs from ‘Revolver’ to him.

I feel good. Brian agreed to go out and celebrate our last Friday night of freedom together; we couldn’t tell Ted and Emmett that we already lost our freedom in January. Brian’s actually agreed to go to Babylon for a short while and have a few drinks and maybe visit the new VIP lounges that they’ve put in.

They’re really just single beds with brightly-colored sheer drapes surrounding them so everyone can still see, sort of… The club looks really hot and tonight is Opening Night with Babylon under new management. Everything’s been upgraded and replaced, you no longer feel like you’re going to get a disease in the backroom.

Brian and I came in the side door and the bartender discreetly put Brian’s walker behind the bar and gave us seats he had reserved for us. Nice new leather bar stools that fit the fun modern feel of the club. He orders a shot of Beam and me some water, as we look out onto the dance floor. It isn’t long before we’re spotted by Michael and Ben.

They join us at the bar and buy us a second round. I’m trying to convince Brian that he can just put his hands around my neck and I’ll hold him while we dance but he’s leery about it. He doesn’t want to fall and look like a fool his first time out. It took couple more shots and he was now already holding onto me with his hands on my hips, slightly swaying but not moving his feet.

I understood his fear of wanting to be able to walk down the aisle with me in a couple of days. Yes, our wedding is on February 29th, Leap Year, just two days away. It was great being out and seeing old friends and for them to see us here tonight, so when they see Brian at the wedding they won’t be so surprised. Of course they’ll have no idea how bad things really were a year ago.

Brian seems happy and mentioned that he was thinking of investing in the club. The new owners bought it when Sap was arrested for not paying income taxes and the business was sold. They rehabbed the place and now just want to turn it over for a small profit.

The new VIP lounges are located in the backroom, just off to their right and Brian motions to Justin to walk with him to see if they could get one to use. Little did he know that Justin had also taken care of reserving one for them in advance, near the exit. It’s draped in deep purple and red sheer fabric that’s swaying from the gusts of the air conditioner.

Justin leads Brian to the small bed and slowly starts taking Brian’s shirt off. Brian follows his lead and takes Justin’s shirt up over his head, letting his blond mop bounce about. The two of them are just enjoying each other’s company, running their hands across their exposed skin as they start to make out. Others watch from a distance in shades of red and purple.

Sunshine’s skin seems to take on the bouncing colors from the twinkle lights around the room’s ceiling. He stands and gives Brian and all the other boys a little show as he wiggles out of his cargo pants, exposing his black briefs. He runs his hand down his thigh and cups his erection, grinning evilly at his husband.

He shakes his hips as he turns around in a circle twice before he works them over his nice round bubble butt and almost onto the floor then he kicks them at Brian and hits him in the face. They both burst out laughing as Justin crawls up the bed to Brian, saying, “Oops.”

Brian flips him over in one fell swoop, tackling him and pinning him down as he kisses him passionately, roughly. After a couple of minutes they break for air and to say hi to Todd as he passes through the backroom. Brian stands and removes his pants and underwear, holding onto the bar they’ve installed to hold onto or tie up to… Either way, Brian’s grateful…

Justin is so happy right now; he hasn’t been out to Babylon in months. Sure, he meets the guys or Daphne but it’s not the same as being here with Brian and he just can’t believe he agreed to come out and play tonight. Hawaii really did give him a lot more confidence than he had before, in more ways than one.

Brian reaches down and pulls Justin by the legs towards him and commands him to get on all fours. Brian stands behind him and runs his hands down his back admiring him in shades of purple. “So beautiful” He leans in and kisses his neck and shoulders eliciting moans from his blond. He whispers, “I’m going to fuck you with your ass so high up in the air, so everyone can see, you filthy little boy.”

“Yes, please.”

Brian runs a long trail down Justin’s back that leaves a cool wet sensation as it dries. He stops at the small of Justin’s back then slowly and softly kisses and sucks, starting to leave a large red hickey as he grazes his teeth across it, marking him. He continues down Justin’s spine, pulling his cheeks apart and kissing his perfect rosebud.

Justin was already writhing with need as Brian admired him panting and rocking with anticipation. Justin was still slick from their prior playtime at home so when Brian simply stood behind him and entered him with out any lube everyone was shocked, but moreover they were shocked because they were raw and it was the hottest show the backroom has ever seen.

The truth be told, it didn’t occur to Brian as he started taking his sweet boy. He slid in nice and slow, filling him completely, making him push his ass in the air and his chest into the mattress. Justin’s nipples sparkle brightly, throwing reflections off the tiny lights. Brian held his hip with one hand and the bar with the other, as he pumped his own hips to and fro, sending delicious sensations deep into his blond.

Justin kept up the rhythm, meeting each push as they worked each other closer towards ecstasy. He arched his back as he pushed back harder, taking all of Brian into himself. At this point he didn’t think he could hold back much longer as he rutted against the sheets beneath him.

Brian’s lost in heaven as he slams into Justin again and again, hitting his prostate repeatedly. Knowing how wonderful that is, he wants to give Justin as much pleasure as possible so he holds out until finally he pulls him in close to take a hold of Justin’s cock, pumping him harder, until they both collapse on the bed, out of breath and completely sated.

They lay there and made out for another ten minutes before taking the warm wet towels from the towel boy who was waiting to change the sheets. Brian tipped him well as they slipped out the side door, knowing that rumors of their raw romp would be in full circulation soon…

TBC…


	16. ~ Happy Family…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day drawls closer as well as our boys…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3386  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: bigj52

 

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: The big day drawls closer as well as our boys…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis… 

It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Four ~ Birth and Re-birth…

Chapter Sixteen ~ Happy Family…

 

Justin’s POV

Brian woke up with a huge grin on his face and a huge boner in his briefs… Darryl just gurgled from his crib, making baby sounds, waiting patiently for his bottle which is more than I can say about his father. I’m torn between giving Brian what he wants and holding Darryl. After all he is awake and well… Brian’s just a horn-dog…

Oops, too late, as Darryl starts crying when he hears us talking and wants to be the center of attention, just like his father. I get up and get him so Brian can hold him as I check his bottle and get his tiny white teddy bear; it’s so soft it feels like real fur and he just loves it. I can’t help wanting to sketch them as Brian gives him his bottle, we’ve both become total lesbians since he was born.

We can’t help it. I think it’s the parenting instinct; that need to protect and nurture him. Although you have to wonder about Brian’s mother; she’s really trying more these days and I know I will see her at the wedding tomorrow. I’m proud of him for trying to work things out with his family and that he invited them to the wedding.

I’ve had several talks with John about coming out to his mother and grandmother and just asked him to wait until after the wedding when they’ve settled in the new house. He agreed, so long as they could use our house as a place to see each other. Brian’s been trying to be friendlier with John but they still have unresolved history that needs work.

I think John knew before that he was gay and resented Brian being ‘out’ and well-off as he hid and his mother struggled. Being an adolescent is the hardest time and having Joan as your grandmother was unbearable until they started coming around with the help of Father Thom. Joan and Clair have actually joined Debbie and my mom at a couple of PFLAG meetings so they can try and understand Brian and I more. After all, they can’t let him pay for their new house and not try to make amends.

Brian even lets his mother come and visit with Darryl a couple of times a week. They’ve started talking more and opening up about the past and just enjoying the present. Justin takes the empty baby bottle from Brian and sets it aside. Jennifer knocks and comes in to get the baby to watch him for the morning.

“Now let’s see how daddy is doing,” Justin whispers as he crawls back up the bed, pulling the blanket off his husband, exposing his beautiful body and his raging hard-on. Just as Justin is about to take him into his mouth there’s a knock at the door and Marco says that Mr. Honeycutt is here to start prepping for tomorrow’s big event. Brian just growls and starts to pull on his jeans and wife beater, asking Justin to bring him coffee in his office.

Justin is still lying across the bed with big eyes, begging him to not leave; just to lock the door and come back to him. Yeah, they have no problem reading one another right now. Justin rolls over and cups his cock as his eyes become deep blue with passion. Brian comes back to him, kissing him fervently, holding him tight and telling him that he could actually join him and Emmett.

“Let’s see? Stay in bed, paint or freak out about the wedding… Hmm, it’s hard to choose…”

“Like I said, please bring me some coffee before you go to your studio.”

“I love you too…”

~~~~

“Emmett, what ungodly hour is it anyway?”

“That would be 9.30 am, your highness.”

“So I already have the twinkle lights being strung in the ballroom and the table and chair rentals should be here by noon. All the china, linens and crystal will be here by three and the tables will all be set today so that besides the food and the band everything will be all set up in the ballroom.”

“That’s good. I’d like it calm tomorrow if at all possible.”

“That’s funny… Nothing will be calm tomorrow. You’re getting married, for Christ sake…”

“Now I’ve arranged to have all the library tables removed and a bar and about a dozen small tables arranged around the library for appetizers and cocktails prior to the wedding and reception; chairs will be set up for the wedding in front of the grand fireplace with candles and flowers.”

“Sounds good.”

“Now are there any changes that you want to make? Now is the time to tell me although I can’t promise, but I’ll try.”

“Well… How hard would it be to change the flowers?”

“Flowers??? Is that what you said, Brian?”

“Well, you see when Justin was in Hawaii he fell in love with the orchids, jasmine and water lilies in bloom everywhere and I’d like to give him something to remember our first honeymoon.”

“Let me make some phone calls and see what I can do… What exactly do you have in mind?”

“How about jasmine as the centerpiece for each table as well as some water lilies for the mantel?”

~~~~

Gus is getting used to seeing Joan at the house and he wants her to paint with him this afternoon as Justin needs to be preparing for the rehearsal dinner. Joan’s not sure about painting; she hasn’t painted anything since junior high school when she won third prize in the art show but her father shut her down with his negative comments about her art.

Justin assures her that he has no problems with her painting in his studio, and explains the bathing routine that’s developed with Gus. Justin’s just grateful that she’s there to watch him and Darryl during the rehearsal dinner tonight and to help out at the wedding.

Joan sets up a huge vase of birds of paradise on a lace hankie as a still life to paint. Meanwhile Gus struggles with not stripping his clothes off in front of Joan, remembering Justin’s words. She wouldn’t understand so today he’s wearing a big old shirt of Brian’s over his underwear because Justin’s sure he’d still get paint on his clothes.

Joan makes several sketches of the flowers from several different angles before she decides to start painting the vase and flowers. Meanwhile it’s getting late in the afternoon and everyone is starting to gather in the library to go over the arrangements for the ceremony.

Because Brian is doing so much better than anyone expected they decided that Brian and Justin would walk each other down the aisle, so that Justin was there to support him, should he need it. Their vows are very basic and short and the service itself lasts less than fifteen minutes. Brian proved that he can stand for much longer the other night at Babylon so he’s no longer worried or wants to sit.

They finish up running through their vows and go over how the reception line will work. They’ve set up a guest registry on a computer and they have a photographer as well to take photos of the guests as well as the happy couple and the wedding party. Yes, this wedding had become more traditional as time went on, but all Brian cares about is that it is elegant and classic, nothing crass or cheap.

At this point the guest list was close to one hundred and twenty. It had become the Wedding of the Year and all of Brian’s clients, his business associates and most of Liberty Avenue had been invited. All the family was here for the rehearsal dinner at Burroughs Farms Country Club where Jennifer belonged and several members would be attending the wedding.

Both Brian and Justin were already off in dreamland these last days as chaos ensued around them. But Emmett, being the professional that he is, has handled all of Brian’s changes just fine, almost as if he expected them. They sit and look around at their friends they call their family and feel comfortable, knowing that they are lucky to be loved by so many.

Justin’s POV

We didn’t really have a bachelor party neither of us wanted it and our display at Babylon made it clear we were very committed; some would say that was our ceremony. So tonight’s turning into more of a roast and a reflection on our relationship. Yes, it’s true we’ve had our ups and downs but we survived the storm.

It’s good to see Michael relaxing and not being so emotionally uptight and possessive of Brian like in their past. He’s really accepting us or me, I should say. It took a long time but I think maybe he just might actually respect me just a little as opposed to resenting me. He makes a toast to us, wishing us a long life together and he almost starts crying.

Brian, of course, has to chide him for being a total lesbian but you can see that the two of them are very proud of how much they’ve grown in the past year. Brian will always have a soft place for Michael in his heart but now it’s clear that that place will never be as his husband.

Debbie makes a speech about knowing Brian since he was fourteen and how innocent Justin was when he came to live with her. How no matter how hard she tried to discourage their relationship she also knew there was no keeping them apart, that Brian had been sneaking in that bedroom window for fifteen years. Everyone laughed and she wished them the best of luck, smothering them both with kisses.

Daphne is the next to speak and she recalls the day Justin told her he had just met the “Face of God” and how he was going to live with him, spend his life with him. The table chuckles, yet they know it’s true. He was in over his head from day one, not that Brian didn’t go kicking and screaming all the way into his arms.

Emmett says he knew from the first time he saw the two of them together that Justin was different. Besides the fact that Brian obviously broke rule number one immediately; sleeping with him repeatedly. And he didn’t seem to mind when he would just show up at Woody’s or Babylon and they always ended up leaving together. “What! You thought we didn’t notice? I knew you loved your twink right from the beginning…”

Ted pipes in with; “How I knew things were different was that you stopped being so focused on ridiculing me and you couldn’t keep your hands off your boy toy. I mean, the way you pull him around by his shirt, or his ear it was really, and I say this at the risk of being pummeled and then fired. It was totally adorable - you couldn’t seem to get enough of him.”

Lindsay chuckles and says, “I knew because you were in such deep denial and all your other tricks, well, you just never even brought them around or talked about them, they never mattered to you. But with Justin, even when you were fighting and he was sleeping on our sofa, you still called to check on Gus but I knew it was to see if he had weathered your latest storm. I’m so glad hurricane season is over for you two, congratulations for a successful future.”

Vic stands and says, “I sure never dreamed that we’d find ourselves here one day, the Great Brian Kinney tying the knot, miracles never cease… Seriously, Brian, you’re like a son to me. I’ve known you since you were a teenager. You too, Justin (everyone laughs) and you’ve come so far. I just know that you two will make each other happy. Just remember to take turns being wrong once in a while and the rest….well, there’s nothing better than make-up sex. Of course, you know all about that…

Mel says, “I never thought that anyone would ever be able to tame the wild stallion, but if anyone could, it was Justin. He is one of the most determined and strong people I know; I’m glad you finally got what you’ve been fighting for all these years.”

“Brian, you’ll always be an arrogant son of a bitch but the truth is I love you just the way you are. Now don’t you dare break his heart or I’ll have your balls…” Then she smiles happily.

“I’ll admit, Brian, when I first found out about you and then met you, I had some real reservations about your relationship with my son. You two have had your ups and downs but you seem to have survived coming back even stronger. I just know that you’re going to have a beautiful life together, experiencing many wonderful adventures.

Ben smiles and says, “I’ve only known you two a short while and yet I feel like I’ve known you forever. Fortunately I’ve only known the new and improved Brian and Justin and whatever it took to get you two to this place was well worth it in the end; you are one of the happiest and most loving couple I have ever met. I hope that one day Michael and I can have something as special as the two of you.

“That was truly beautiful, Ben, thank you so much.”

“Oh, enough of this already, you’re making my dick soft…”

“Brian…”

“What! We can’t have that now, can we, sunshine?”

“You’re impossible…”

Justin blushes and stands to thank everyone for all their well wishes and for coming tonight and how much it means to both him and Brian. He looks down at Brian and smiles and says; “It’s true. I knew that first night that he was the one. I knew when I was still standing under that streetlight, so naive and innocent. I’ve waited for this day to come for what seems like all of my adult life and now I can finally breathe.”

“That was the most important night of my life, along with Gus being born until now; with our marriage and Darryl coming into our lives I’ve never been happier and my love for my husband has never been stronger.” Justin realizes what he said after he said it but he just hopes that it passes over everyone’s heads.

Brian reaches up and pulls him down onto his lap. He’s had enough of all this lesbionic talk and he’s getting restless to go home. He’ll never admit it but he doesn’t like being away from Darryl for more than a couple of hours. There are a few more toasts and about an hour later they all head home for the big day tomorrow.

It’s a little before midnight and Brian is feeding Darryl his bottle as Justin just grins down at the two of them. “God, you’re so beautiful, Brian. A year ago I never dreamed that we could have all this. That I could have you all to myself and we’d have Darryl; my life is totally perfect.”

He leans over and kisses his husband while looking down into his son’s sparkling hazel eyes, reflecting golden and deep amber flecks. Darryl looks just like Brian and Gus at that age. Justin has a set of pictures of each of them framed on Darryl’s dresser for when he gets older. He falls fast asleep while finishing up his bottle; he really is the best baby ever. Justin places him in his bassinette and then comes back to bed.

He lies down naked next to his husband, admiring his body, running his hands down his torso, massaging his muscles and playing with his nipples. Brian arches his back to get more stimulation from Justin’s lips as he sucks and nibbles, eliciting moans and shivers. Justin continues down to his navel, rimming him with his tongue as he twists both nipples between his fingers and thumbs, keeping them erect and sending delightful ripples of pleasure through his man.

Brian’s strong cock is now demanding full attention, prodding Justin’s neck and cheek as his pink head lies across his belly button. Justin simply shifts his head and turns his face and starts to lick his beautiful head, teasing him and driving him wild. “Justin” Brian cries, “For Christ sakes!”

He chuckles, “Someone’s impatient tonight…” He takes his tongue and runs it down Brian’s big vein and then back up again, swishing it around his head before he finally engulfs his shaft completely and starts bobbing his pretty blond head, just like his partner wants. Brian reaches down and grasps hold of Justin’s golden locks, steering him in just the right direction, his rhythm, feeling edgy and ready to explode.

It only takes one, two, three for Brian to shoot his milky load down his throat, shaking in ecstasy… “Oh God, Sunshine, you’re the best and I’ve wanted you all night.” Justin just smiles his sunshine smile at his husband and is simultaneously flipped onto his back, as Brian starts climbing up his body.

He starts running kisses up his chest and rubbing small circles on his sides; as he goes Justin breathes heady cries of enjoyment. It feels so good to relax in Brian’s embrace. Brian’s working his way up to Justin’s neck and shoulders as he kisses and sucks a big red spot on the side of his neck. He rubs his shoulders, loosening all his tense muscles, whispering sweet words of love.

Justin is practically melting into the mattress, drowning in blissful pleasure as Brian works his way back down his chest and belly, tickling him with his tongue and lips. He pulls his legs up onto his shoulders, leaning down to kiss his pink puffy lips as he snaps open a tube of lube and coats two fingers, penetrating his boy. Justin bucks just slightly from the cool gel and Brian just smirks but doesn’t say anything.

Justin eyes deepen with lust and anticipation; he’s so overwrought with desire as he stares into his husband’s eyes, waiting for the pressure against his beautiful rosebud. Brian teases him, nudging him and backing off giving him just half an inch, then a full inch and none… Just a half again then full two inches; Justin’s in heaven as he pants and moans, wanting all of him, but loving the small penetrations, reaching for more, needing more, needing all of him…

Panting uncontrollably, writhing, almost begging as Brian slides himself in a few inches, and slides all the way out, then plunges all the way in, giving him what he wants - all nine inches. Justin bucks and whimpers while grinning like a crazed fool. “Yes, Yes, Yes!!! Oh God, Brian…”

“Is that what you want, my little monkey boy?”

Justin’s in heaven as he wraps his arms and legs around Brian’s torso and just swings, letting Brian’s cock enter and retreat just a few inches, driving him wild. He throws his head back and Brian attacks his neck again, continuing his work, marking his boy. Brian wasn’t the only one that was dreaming and needing his partner all night long. Justin is getting worked up fast from all his rocking and riding.

Brian looks deep into his ocean of blue, reading his need and desire; he pulls his legs over his head and slams into his husband with abandon, over and over, building speed and friction, holding his resistance, waiting for the special glint Justin gets in his eyes just before he cums. Justin is almost on overload as he tries to hold out against his master, knowing it’s a battle he’ll never win.

He’s gasping for air as his orgasm rips through him like a freight train, shaking and rattling down the tracks, pulling his engineer right along with him. Brian collapses on top of him while they catch their breaths before he rolls to the side leaving them both covered in a sticky mess. Justin grins and says; “You’re amazing!”

“I know I am…”

Justin couldn’t be happier; more of the old confident Brian is re-emerging and he seems very comfortable in his new skin…

TBC…


	17. ~ I Do…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen for a day; Brian queen’s out about details…

Title: Metamorphosis…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 4628  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Passion and Lust…  
Beta Queen: Bigj52

Summary: It’s all gone in just moments - your life changes and there’s no going back. You’re no longer the person you thought you were and you have no idea who you’ll become.

Chapter Summary: Queen for a day; Brian queen’s out about details…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Metamorphosis…   
It took losing you to finally let myself love you…

Part Four ~ Birth and Re-birth…

Chapter Seventeen ~ I Do…

Just like Darryl can sleep through us screaming like wild banshees, I can sleep through him wailing his head off. So as I awake to the sunlight filtering through our bedroom windows and Sunshine singing “Eight Days a Week” to our son it brings a smile to my face; today’s our big day… again…

I’m not sure why but I’m a little nervous, I wasn’t at all in Hawaii. But just seeing him holding our son and smiling back at me reassures me of any fear I’m feeling. Maybe it’s because I’ve been the one in charge of the wedding, so it’s mine to fuck up. Although, really, how could it go wrong? I requested the best of everything.

I take out my cell to call Em…

“I’m in your driveway as we speak, Mr. Kinney.”

“It’s Taylor-Kinney, I’ll be right down.”

I jump out of bed, kiss both my boys on the forehead and tell them daddy just has to double check everything for the big day. Justin just grins and wonders if he’ll see me again before the wedding.

~~~~

Brian’s pacing in the living room as Emmett tries to calm him down a little.

“That’s not enough alcohol… I could drink that much; I think I need a drink.”

“No, no one’s having a drink before cocktail hour. Now I’ll call the liquor store and have them make a second delivery.  
“I’m Irish, you know, we’re known for drinking a lot…”

“Yes, I know. I agree. With how much the guest list has increased and the way all those fags can drink you under the table, well, not you per se, but yes, they’re lushes…”

“How about a screwdriver or one of those latte rum drinks Justin likes to make? Or both? I need to take the edge off.”

“Brian, I’m working but what the hell, you’re the boss… I’ll call the bartender and ask his advice on how much to order for a crowd this size of heavy drinkers.”

“Who are all these people in my kitchen?”

“These are the caterers, Brian. Now I think we should finish our coffees and you and Justin should go out to breakfast. Relax, maybe take Darryl to the park try and stay away from the house while we do all the finishing touches.”

“So what else is going to go wrong?”

“Nothing”

“Now go…”

Brian makes his way back up to the bedroom with two new coffees, giving one to Justin. Brian takes his son and sits, holding him for a few minutes; Justin sips his coffee, almost spitting it out, not realizing the alcohol content “Brian, my God…” he says in a raspy voice “That’s fucking strong…”

Darryl’s fallen asleep again so Justin lays him in his crib and returns to Brian. He leads him into the bathroom, stripping them both of their clothes as they enter the shower stall. He leaves the door wide open so he can hear if Darryl cries. Brian stands, leaning against the shower wall as his blond floats down to his knees. He looks up at his husband in wonder and amazement that they’ve reach this day.

To be honest it’s different for Justin this time as well with his mom, Deb and everyone else looking on. But he has no reservations about if this is the right thing; just looking into those hazel eyes tells him everything he needs to know. Those eyes reflect back all the love and admiration they have for one another.

He takes Brian’s pink head into his mouth, circling his tongue around and across his slit, licking and sucking. Brian arches his back and leans harder against the wall, moaning as he grasps his blond’s locks. He finds a rhythm and starts working it steadily as he feels those wet cheeks rubbing against his silky flesh.

He knows he won’t last long as he’s already beyond the point of no return. It only takes Justin throwing his head back so that Brian can deep throat him until he feels those tingling sensations building, starting to spark and flare, burning deep within. He holds Justin’s head perfectly still as he loses himself, shooting down Justin’s throat and across his cheeks.

He pulls him up for a passionate kiss and licks off the remaining cum and shares it with his husband. Brian holds him tight, just listening to their hearts beat as he whispers, “I never thought that anyone could really love me the way you do… Thanks for always being here for me and calling me on all my bullshit.”

“Thanks for finally hearing me and loving me in return.”

“I always loved you, Sunshine. I just never said so… I had a reputation to uphold and besides I didn’t want to give you a big head…”

“And now?”

“I love your big head… Come here and let me have that…”

With that Brian grabs Justin’s cock and pulls just a little. They make their way over to the shower bench and he sits on Brian’s lap, running kisses across his jawline. Justin leans back, listening for Darryl just in case he’s woken up while his daddies are showering…

Justin kneels with each leg on Brian’s side with Brian leaning against the back wall. Brian massages his lower back working his fingertips down towards his beautiful pucker. Justin leans in and pushes his ass out while Brian starts to finger his moist crease. He moans and ruts against his husband as he opens up for him; Brian continues to scissor him until he’s all wet and juicy.

Brian nudges at his entrance as Justin sits back and takes all of Brian into him very slowly, closing his eyes, seeing bright colors that he dreams of painting like the early morning sunrise. It isn’t long before he’s adjusted and his body is producing its own beautiful juices to enhance his wild ride.

Brian holds his hips as he rests on his lap, coming in for one more deep kiss before he starts riding him with abandon. Leaving his head resting on Brian’s shoulder he starts raising and lowering himself on his husband’s penis, working a good three to five inches in and out of him as he rides him. He can feel his body already starting to sing and a small line of perspiration is forming on his lip and hairline.

He throws his head back and really starts fucking himself hard on Brian’s shaft. Brian pulls him in close so he won’t gallop off his lap and captures his lips again, whispering, “I love you, Sunshine.” Just hearing those words in the throes of passion, just like their first night, was all it took for Justin to shoot between the two lovers. Brian followed right behind, filling his husband with his warm creamy spunk.

Once they’ve caught their breath Brian starts shampooing Justin’s hair, working up a foamy lather then rinsing him off, watching the suds flow down the drain, loving his beautiful porcelain skin, so soft and creamy. They truly are opposites. I guess the old saying is true that opposites attract. Once he’s done, Justin repeats the same procedure, adoring all of his Adonis’s body along the way.

They’re just finishing up when they hear a big crash and Darryl starts crying. They grab their towels from the heated towel bar and run to the baby who, of course, is just upset from the noise. Brian grabs his jeans and struggles, getting them on without drying off first.

Justin watches with amazement at how much he can do with so much adrenaline pumping through his veins. He was worried about Brian missing his workout today but it seems that he’s getting one now as he almost runs out of the bedroom. I want to scream at him to slow down and wonder how much pain he’s in.

“What was that?”

“Nothing for you to worry about, it was just a few glasses.”

“A few glasses?”

“Alright, a case of crystal champagne glasses, but we have plenty. I more than doubled up on all the glasses, knowing how this crowd drinks like fishes.”

“You know you’re going to give me a fucking heart attack.”

“What are you still doing here?”

“A man must bathe…”

“Among other things…”

“We’re leaving but call me if anything happens…”

Yeah right, he must be delusional if he thinks I’m giving him a blow by blow of our mishaps today…

“No problem, I’ll call you. Now go…”

~~~~

We’re walking down Liberty Avenue. Brian’s pushing the stroller and it seems to work very much like his walker which is good, considering he was practically running this morning and I don’t know how he’s really feeling. He has Darryl bundled up in a snowsuit so he looks like a huge cat toy. I’m afraid he’s going to get heat stroke.

We go into the diner and almost everyone’s head turns. It’s been a long time since Brian’s been here and no one’s ever seen us with Darryl, even though there are rumors circulating all over town. The crowd is rather light for a Sunday morning. Michael and Ben join us, telling us that everyone’s out primping for our big affair.

“I’m surprised you’re not getting a manicure, haircut or something?” Michael comments.

“Oh, I’ve scheduled massages for Justin and I at 2:30 so we can relax and really enjoy this evening.”

“Really, that is so unlike you…” Justin smiles and kisses his husband. “Well, more like the new you…”

Just then Daphne comes in, grinning like a fool. She’s so happy and excited for them and slightly hung over from last night.

“I’m starving. What’s everyone having?”

Just then the door to the diner opens and in walks Ted. Gus barrels past him, calling out; “Daddy, we’re getting married today! You, me and Justin…”

Ted apologizes and says he called the house and Em said they were here. The girls asked Ted to watch Gus for the day while they got ready for the wedding but he thought maybe it was better if Gus was with his dads. The truth is he was slightly frightened to be totally responsible for a small child, especially Brian Kinney’s…

Gus climbs up into Brian’s lap and they share his egg-white omelet and wheat toast. Justin orders Gus a glass of milk and a fresh fruit cup and shares a couple of bites of his waffles with him. Gus can’t help making baby faces and playing with his baby brother, kissing him and telling him all the things he’s going to teach him and how much he’s going to love painting.

Brian grins at his sons, glad they get along and love each other; he was worried that Gus might have been jealous of Darryl. But all the talking about Darryl’s arrival seems to have helped Gus accept his new brother with open arms. Brian holds Darryl while Gus holds his bottle, feeding him, looking at him with total amazement and awe. He’s still so tiny, just like a little doll.

Daphne says, “You’re right, Ron was a total drag in bed… I actually asked him to leave afterwards and now I don’t have a date for your wedding and I’m the best man.”

“I thought all chicks loved it when they stayed all night…”

“Brian…”

“Justin, what am I going to do? I don’t have a date. What was I thinking?”

“How about that guy from your chemistry class that’s so smart, that you had a crush on?”

“I already slept with him…”

“He didn’t make the cut either?” says Brian.

“Brian…”

“I can’t stop thinking about Jamaal; I think I’m in love with him…”

“Well, it’s good to know he’s a good fu**, ah friend…”

“Briiiian…”

“What, I said, friend…”

“I can’t go without a date, I just can’t…”

“How about Hunter? Lord knows he has experience, could be the night of your life…”

“Briiiian…”

“What? I was just trying to think of all the straight, single men we know. Maybe Carl can find some young strapping police cadet; that could be fun.”

Justin shakes his head and this time Daphne is the one to say, “Briiiian…”

After breakfast they make their way down to Liberty Park and Justin pushes Gus on the swings as Brian rocks Darryl in his stroller. Gus is chattering away about wearing his designer suit. It’s funny, he sounds so much like Brian as he goes into details about the color of his shirt which is deep purple and a black suit. Yes, we’re back to black suits, I think. Brian isn’t sure what color shirts yet and we both now have a closet full of new suits and shirts to choose from.

Brian smirks, looking away and I have to wonder what he’s up to. I ask him and he smiles and says he had a tiny suit made for Darryl. Armand fitted him last week for it. I can’t help laughing; he’s such a clothes horse, always having to have the latest style and fashion. Your sons better be gay or they’re going to turn into metrosexuals…

Gus runs off to the slide to show us how he can fly down it really fast. Justin catches him at the bottom and he runs and slides down again. I’m not sure who’s having more fun, Gus or Justin. I never wanted this. Didn’t think I was a family man, but watching them I’ve never been more content and happy.

All of a sudden Gus sees the white swans down at the river and we all move to sit on the benches nearby. Justin takes out the old bread Kiki gave him from the diner and starts to feed the mother and babies. Gus is totally enthralled, watching them and he starts telling stories about the babies. Justin takes out a sketch book and starts drawing Gus once he gets the idea of how to feed them and not scare them off.

~~~~

Back at the house things are coming along. The caterer is slightly panicked when only half of the seafood order is delivered and has to send someone out to pick up the fresh shrimp. The band just arrived, having gotten lost and one of the band members is missing, so they’re setting up while they wait for the lead singer, Angelo.

Emmett escorts the florist into the ballroom to set up orchids as centerpieces on each table. Jasmine wasn’t available and Emmett remembered Justin gushing about how much he loved orchids. The wait staff is giving all the tables the final once over before the guests start arriving in a couple of hours. Everything looks perfect but Em decides to take a Xanax just to take the edge off.

Joan, Clair and the boys came over earlier in the day to watch Gus and Darryl while Brian and Justin relaxed and got their massages. By the time they had returned from the park the masseuses had set up their tables in their bedroom and were waiting for the couple. They lay on their tables, looking across at one another until they started to turn to mud beneath the strong fingers working their flesh, relaxing their tight muscles. Neither can help the small gasps and little moans that escape them as all their tension melts away.

After forty-five minutes of pure heaven they’re both very close to sleep and are left to their own play. At first neither could move, they felt too good, but slowly they made their way towards the bed. They fell into one another’s arms, holding each other close before slipping into a catnap while chaos reigned supreme in the house.

Gus investigates the kitchen activity. John is supposed to be watching him instead of making out with his new boyfriend, Shaun out back. Gus found the top layer of the wedding cake that’s cute and small just like him; so he spoons some into a bowl, then another bowl. Finally he ended up eating a third of bowl of cake crumbs, getting it all over this face. He’s starting to look a little green around the gills with the cheesecake being so rich…

Hands covered in cake he went looking for a familiar face.

“Auntie Em, I don’t feel so good…”

Emmett carried him his bedroom and the connecting bathroom, rinsing off his hands and removing his jeans and shirt, giving him a cool washcloth to pat his face and chest with. He lays him down on the bed and stays with him until he feels a little better. He asks if he feels sick and gets the wastebasket and puts it near the bed. It isn’t long before Gus is taking his own nap, sleeping off all that sugar and spice.

Emmett smiles and thinks that wasn’t so bad. He can understand why Brian and Justin are ready to be parents. He thinks to himself – ‘who knows, maybe someday I’ll be a father’, Right now he’s just grateful Brian ordered several top layers for the wedding cake. With just a few alterations it will be good as new and no one will be any the wiser.

~~~~

Brian woke to a sleeping Justin, drooling on his chest, still covered in a slight sheen from their massages. He ran his hand down Justin’s back, feeling each and every muscle, dipping at the small of his back and continuing down his crack. Justin moaned and spread his legs, giving his husband better access while also rutting against him at the same time.

Brian dips his finger into his sweet pucker, feeling him open and push forward, still sleepy with need and desire. Justin turns his head up and captures Brian’s lips, kissing him softly, tenderly as he works himself on several of Brian’s fingers. He moans and rocks slightly, drooling again as he becomes more awake. Brian flips him over on his back and kneels above him in total predator mode, wanton with lust.

Justin lets out a squeal of delight as his husband gets frisky with him and looks up into his eyes, reading the wild passion he sees there.

Justin’s POV

I notice that our bodies seem to slide against one another easily from the massage oils we used earlier and it feels wonderful as I glide underneath him. I reach down between us and work him so that he’s slick with massage oil and pre-cum; I direct him towards my rosebud and slide my legs onto his shoulders.

He leans down, taking me as he kisses me. I moan loudly, gasping for air as he fills me, pumping into me more. He sets a rhythm for us and we fall into sync with each other. He feels so good to me. It’s always so intense for me and I have to sometimes wonder if I’m just so much more sensitive and emotional with him sexually. Of course he’d say I was a total lesbian.

But there’s something about being married that really does make it different for me. Maybe it’s because, unlike him, I’ve dreamed of this day from the moment I met him. I knew I wanted it to be him, knew I was in for a wild ride and hoped we’d both survive. I’ve missed this so much it’s crazy. I made a big deal about topping Brian early on but the truth is I’d rather bottom most of the time.

I guess that’s because my husband is a fucking sex god… Not that this last year wasn’t fantastic and we really learned so much about each other in ways we never dreamed we could but I’m so glad he’s back sexually…

He’s thrusting his hips back and forth, driving me insane. I’m not sure I can hold off much longer; his kisses deepen as our passion carries us to our crescendo. I hear him chanting Justin, Justin, Justin… He slams into my prostate like an arrow through my heart and I burst into a million bright lights as I feel my body shake and twist.

Brian keeps pumping as my warm ravine clenches and pulls him into his own sexual bliss as he cries out my name, “Justin!” Several moments later he rolls off me and pulls me into him as we catch our breath and grin like teenagers.

~~~~

Daphne had resolved herself to her fate as a free spirit at the wedding and tried to put on her best face. She was wearing a midnight blue velvet dress that hit mid-calf and had a scooped neckline as well as a very low backline. Daphne and Brian had gone shopping and picked it out. Justin hadn’t seen it yet and she looked so elegant and beautiful with matching Prada velvet pumps.

Brian and Justin were dressing and going over the last minute details before the ceremony. Michael and Daphne were in the bedroom with them and Brian said that they had a present for each of them. He gave Michael a small blue velvet box that almost looked like a ring box but as he opened it, it revealed a diamond tie tack. Michael thanked them and Brian helped him put it on.

Then Brian smiled and said ‘for my dear sweet Daphne’ and he handed her a much larger box that held earrings and a necklace made of diamonds and blue sapphires. He helped her with the clasp on the necklace. Brian and Justin were dressed in black suits and dark purple shirts and ties just like Gus. The four of them sat and drank a glass of champagne and Brian decided that they needed a joint.

Brian and Daphne had been spending more time together over the last few months as she helped Brian with organizing the wedding. During that time they couldn’t help talking about her recent flurry of men she had gone through like she was looking for something that wasn’t there.

She had confessed her feelings about Jamaal more than once. He even convinced her to call him a couple of times but he lived so far away and she couldn’t see a long distance romance working. Yet she still couldn’t shake her feelings for the man and had slept with everyone in sight to get over him... No such luck… She’s slightly sad about being alone, but she’s determined to put her best Kinney face on and handle it the best way she can.

They’re all stoned and laughing at Michael’s bad jokes as someone knocks on the door. Brian smiles and says, “I believe that’s for you, Ms. Chanders.” Daphne opens the door, shocked to see Jamaal standing on the other side, dressed in a classy black suit and tie. She throws herself at him, kissing him madly, asking ‘how, when, what’s going on?’

Brian grins and says that he asked him to come about a month ago.

“I’m so glad you could be here with him tonight. Daphne runs over and kisses Brian. She thanks him, hitting him softly, saying, “How could you not tell me?”

He just chuckles and says; “I knew you’d need a real date.”

Brian had kept in contact with Jamaal who was a marine biologist as well as a surfer and scuba diver. He had a sportswear sponsorship for the gear he used and put Brian in touch to negotiate for their next advertising campaign. The two had become friends over the last couple of months and he knew that Jamaal felt that same way about Daphne as she did about him.

~~~~

The house was starting to fill up with people and the valet was parking cars down by the barns and stables. Waiters were circulating with appetizers and champagne, the huge fireplace was ablaze with a roaring fire. There were candles on the mantel and scattered around the house, creating a very charming feel in the old mansion.

For most people who had never been here before, it was huge and grand. What they didn’t realize was that Brian’s business took up the top two floors, along with Justin’s studio.

Guests mingled while a pianist played classical music. Brian and Justin were just looking each other over one last time as they kissed and prepared to take their vows again before a hundred and twenty of their closest friends and family. He leans in and says, “I love you, Mr. Kinney.”

The door opens and it’s Mel and Lindsay bringing a very spotless Gus into the bedroom. Brian looks at his son and smiles, thinking that this is perfect, just the way it should be, Gus looks so proud as he smiles up at Brian and they practice one last time.

Brian says, “And the rings please.”

The fire is blazing in the background as Daphne and Michael stand to each side. Gus walks down the aisle dropping deep purple rose petals that are velvet to the touch. They match the single rose that Justin chose to carry. Brian and Justin walked arm in arm down the aisle, following Gus who kept looking over his shoulder at them, smiling.

Once they came to the front Gus sat with his mothers.

Brian clears his throat and starts with, ‘Justin, I choose you as my partner, my husband, my spouse. I can’t imagine anyone I’d rather spend my life with. I don’t deserve your unconditional love and the truth is you make me a better man just being with you. I may not have been able to always show you my feelings but I always loved you and I’m so grateful you understood my many moods. I’ll always stand by you as we make our way together in the future. I love you more than life itself. ‘

Justin smiles his big sunshine smile and says, ‘Brian, I knew the day I met you that you were the one I wanted to share my life with. I chased after you even though you kept running away and denying your feelings for me. But I knew better. I could see it in your eyes. Your lips may have said one thing, but your eyes and your heart kept coming back for more. I love you with all my heart and want nothing more than to share my life with you.’

The Justice of the Peace asks, “And the rings please,” Gus got up, walked very calmly to Brian, reached into his pocket and took out the small blue box. Brian took it and opened it to reveal two platinum wedding bands.

Brian took one out and looked into Justin’s eyes, sliding it on his left finger as he said, “Justin, I give myself to you now and forever until the end of time…”

Brian handed Justin his ring and slid the box into his pocket. Looking into his husband’s eyes, Justin slid Brian’s ring onto his left hand as Justin said, “Brian, I give myself to you now and forever until the end of time…”

Brian started to lean into Justin to kiss him…

“No, wait, Daddy, I need to say my vows.” Brian smiles down at his five-year-old son and says; “By all means, Gus.”

Gus takes out a piece of paper folded up into a small square. Drawn with bright purple crayons are two huge hearts.

“My daddies took a long time getting here today, ‘cause my dad can be really stubborn sometimes. But you see Justy knows just how to smile and melt my dad’s heart, and mine too. So today we get married and become a family, Now Daddy, you have to kiss the bride; I think that’s you, Justy.”

Brian and Justin look down at their son and know that they’re finally a real family.

The End…


End file.
